Tadashi Hamada Is Mine
by Rolaplayor101
Summary: Hiro isn't too happy about learning that Tadashi has been hiding his secret boyfriend for over two years, and he's also not all that happy that Tadashi is trying to get them to bond with each other. And then there's the showcase, and they both have to learn how to cope.
1. Prologue

I just don't understand. Why does my brother like this guy? What's so special about him? He's so...normal. Not just in personality, but, like, in the way he looks too.

He's scrawny, for one. He looks like he'd break faster than a stick. He's always wearing a blue and black raglan shirt, all different ones, like he has a collection or something. And he has these huge creepy round grey eyes, like concrete. It's weird. When he stares at Tadashi it's like he's seen a ghost. Their the same height, I think, despite his long lanky legs.

You know what? It's not that he's unattractive, but he's…just ordinary. His personality is too regular, too..Tadashi-ey

Seriously, what could he have possibly said to make Tadashi smile like that?

A quirk is at his lips, his grey eyes are bright as he looked at my brother, and my brother, the idiot, is grinning back at him, rocking back into a sit. They're in the courtyard of SFIT, sitting on the grass, _supposedly_ studying, but it looks to me like they're just staring at each other with disgusting romanticism.

But if you didn't know they were dating, it probably would've looked like two normal friends having a fun time studying in the courtyard of their college together, enjoying off time and eating lunch.

No.

Those two were _supposedly_ in love, having dated for two years without letting a brother know, while everyone else at the school knew it like it was on the news! But what got to me the most is that Tadashi didn't even tell me, his own brother! He's been yakking it up with some random guy for more than a year, and I only heard about him two weeks ago!

Tadashi tells me everything! We don't keep secrets from each other! At least, I thought we didn't. And then he had the nerve to tell me _It wasn't a secret, I just didn't think you'd be interested in it._

Well _duh_! But I still want to know!

I don't like the guy, and I don't trust him. I don't like the way he smiles, or how his eyes glint while looking at my brother, or he's so careful turning the pages of his textbook on his lap, while he takes up Tadashi's time 'studying' out in the bright blue and cloudless sky.

And I certainly don't like those uxorious gazes Tadashi gives him when he's not looking.

.

As soon as Tadashi walked into our shared bedroom with _that_ guy following behind him, I walked out. I couldn't stand being in the same room as them now that I could notice every friendly banter for what it truly was: geeky flirting.

But I had nowhere to go, so I just stood against the wall in the hall, and since the walls were thin, I could still hear a lot of what they were saying and no, I definitely didn't listen because I was curious. I had nowhere else to go and they were too loud for me to ignore. I'm not gonna leave my own house just to avoid them.

The guy's deep voice bounced over the walls, out of the door, and into my eardrums, like a monster struck was starting on the other side. It startled me at first how much bass was in the older man's voice. It was reminiscent of a drum. I don't know where he's from but his voice doesn't really match his face. He seems like the kinda lanky nerd that would be picked on a lot in cartoons, but without the glasses, and a voice as deep as a abyss and as loud as a jet.

Although, he seemed to carry himself with an edge of politeness. He sat with his back straight, I noticed, and he dressed a bit like Tadashi when he wasn't wearing that raglan shirt, which wasn't too weird, since Tadashi didn't wear anything extravagant. Of course, that didn't stop girls from fawning over him anyway(and apparently males too). Aside from his "five-star" personality and ability to suck up to everyone, his kindness got him surrounded by dozens of people.

Unfortunately one of those people actually had a shot.

One of those people happened to have a shot that has lasted two years.

Seriously, forget this guy.

"You're going on another zip-lining trip?" Tadashi's voice asked from the other side of the wall.

"Yeah, and I'm inviting you." the other guy replied with a cocky voice.

"Huh..what are you trying to do? Get me alone in the woods so you can kill me and bury the body?"

He laughed."That's not the reason I'm trying to get you alone,"

I almost threw up in my mouth, rolling my eyes and scowling through the door, wishing that if I glared hard enough then he would feel a hole burn right through the brown, almost red if you squint, locks of hair shrouding his forehead.

I could hear them laughing through the door.

"No, but, seriously, who else are you inviting?" Tadashi asked. I imagined him crossing his arms, like he had a habit of doing while standing over people.

"I asked Gogo if she wanted to come. She hasn't given me an answer yet. I think she still has a lot more ideas for her bike to finish up.." I scoffed, but this time it was at the prospect that the woman would ever be happy with the speed of her bike. "But..you know.." I focused on the conversation at hand. "you could always invite Hiro, if you wanted to."

My eyebrows went up at that. _Me?_

"Hiro?" Tadashi asked, with the same amount of curiosity and disbelief I was feeling at the moment. "What made you think of inviting him?"

"Ah, I don't know.." He said flippantly."It's just that he's really trying hard on his project and whether he gets in or not, a trip to celebrate or relax would be cool for him, you think?"

"Yeah...? I'll ask him, but I don't think he's into the whole 'zip-lining' thing."

"I don't think it's the zip-lining he'd dislike though..." He mumbled so low I almost didn't hear it.

"What do you mean?" I put my head to the door.

"I mean..don't you think.." the man paused. "He doesn't really hang out with me, and I don't think he..is comfortable when I'm around."

"What? You think he doesn't like you?"

"I know he doesn't like me." _True_.

"No way, what makes you think that?"

How about the fact that I don't talk to him, I don't look at him, I leave whenever I see him coming, and I glare at him from afar?

There was no sound coming from the room.

"Ok, fine. But I still think your being paranoid."

"He's your brother! Shouldn't you know him well? How do you not notice it?" _Cause he's always looking at you, smarta-_

"I do know him, that's why I'm saying he wouldn't just judge someone without getting to- oh wait.."

 _Yeah…_

"Yeah.." He said quietly in a 'like I said' type of voice.

 _So you finally realized._

"Maybe we should just-.. Ah..." Tadashi sighed and I could imagine him rubbing his face to control his emotions. "Maybe we should just continue studying."

It was mostly silent after that, aside from some more banter and flirting.

In the end, Tadashi still asked me after _he_ left. I said no.

"Oh _come on_ , little brother! It'll be fun!"

"What is "fun" to you isn't "fun" to me."

"It's just for a weekend," he said. "And sense, you need a break every once in awhile!"

"And since when do you go 'zip-lining'?" I asked, eyebrows furrowed up.

He hesitated. "Mn took me once a little more than a year ago...?" He said, hand on the back of his head and a sheepish grin on his face contradicting his furrowed eyebrows.

I crossed my arms and turned around some more in my chair, facing him fully.

He sighed and sat in another chair next to me, scratching the back of his head. He looked up at me tiredly and put his hands in his lap, leaning towards me.

"Okay, what's wrong?" He asked it more as a statement than a question.

I made a sound.

"What's wrong with him?" He asked again, eyebrows arched up and eyes lidded. He sounded as if he was about to give me a lecture, as if he wasn't mad but he wants me to know that what I've done is wrong. "Why don't you like him?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." If he wasn't going to tell me until two years later what was going on, then I'm not going to tell him what is so obviously wrong with his boyfriend.

He sighed again and rubbed his face with his hands. I raised my eyebrows at him and tapped my index finger on my forearm. It was silent for a few moments and he looked at me again with a even more tired look and with his hand on his cheek. His hands made a slapping sound as he let them fall back to his lap.

"Okay... Okay." He said, tilting his head and lifting his hands in surrender, eyes closed for a second as he sat up in his seat. "I get it," he said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my boyfriend,"

I looked away for a quick second to fake vomit. He either didn't notice, or didn't say anything.

"But there's no reason for you to hate him for it. It was my choice." He said, eyes genuine as he looked at me. "I honestly didn't believe we could last this long, heck, even now I can't believe it-" Is he getting sentimental? Can I actually throw up so I can get him to stop talking? "but I really like him, Hiro! And I want you to like him too, so please..! Come with us, get to know him."

I've never seen Tadashi look this desperate. Even when I was about to get beaten up by Yama and his gang, he's always confident. His eyes are so wide and filled with hope and fear and honesty..

Crap, why was my big brother such a sentimental idiot?

After a few more seconds of looking at him, I finally ask, "What's so good about him..?" My voice came out too low but I'm sure he heard it anyway. I avoid his gaze, didn't want to see his face. It didn't matter anyway, as soon as I asked I regretted it, almost as much as peeking back at him when he explained it.

"He's...he's wonderful, Hiro. He makes _me_ feel wonderful. He cares. A lot. And he's fun! He makes me laugh, and he's thoughtful,...and smart! He's loyal and trustworthy and he respects me and my decisions, and that's a lot to ask for in some relationships." He wasn't even looking at me, he seemed to be somewhere else entirely, and he was smiling that ridiculous smile again. His eyes were too bright to look at anymore, and I was glad when he ran another hand down his face to calm himself down.

"Ugh, Hiro, he just-..he's _perfect_ for me, you know?"

"No. I don't know." I stood up, unable to look at him anymore. I left the room and slammed the door behind me, ignoring him when he called out for me.

.

 _Love is..respect, trustworthiness, honesty..not having to worry because you know they are always beside you, whether it be family, friend, or significant other. Love is communication, patience, happiness. Love shouldn't be hard._

 _._

The plans got cancelled for that weekend. To make up for it, Tyrone Nial, the guy with two names and a obsession with my brother, invited Tadashi, a love struck intelligent fool(Can you be both?), on a date to the movies on Friday. His apparent 'soulmate' was going to pick him up and they'd leave for the night, and Tadashi would stay the night. At his house. The house of a boyfriend he's been with for two years.

I'm not _stupid,_ ok? Of course there has been times when Tadashi doesn't come home. He's a college student. But mostly he's at the college itself, not at someone's house! And of course this is probably not their..first time (going over each others houses) but still, he didn't have to tell me his plans for Friday night. I don't need the imagery. It's their business.

Until, of course, the day comes and Tyrone Nial,( yes, you have to put both) comes up to our room and Tadashi, who had been aggravated since he got home, says-

"I'm sorry, I thought I texted you..! I can't go..I have to work on some stuff at SFIT, they're expecting me to be there in, like, thirty minutes and I have to go right now if I'm going to make it! They wouldn't let me refuse! I am so sorry!"

I heard him from my bed and saw, before I could turn away, Tadashi hug _the guy_ and give him a quick peck to the lips before pulling away and grabbing his stuff off his bed on the far side of the room.

The man looked at me for a second as if to say "Did you see that?!" but he probably saw the face I was making at him 'cause he shut his mouth right after, turning back to Tadashi who was making his way from his side of the room.

His eyebrows rose and his mouth formed an O shape as he looked from me to _him_. "I know, why don't you take Hiro? He'd love that movie." He says with a smile and a glance my way, and I know for a fact he saw the look of disgust on my face. He poked the grey-eyed man in the chest and winked as he began to go passed him. "You already paid for the tickets, just let him tag along!" He pecked his cheek and passed him into the door and out into the hallway. "It'll be fine! Don't get him into any trouble!"

"I won't!" He called back.

"I was talking to Hiro!" And with that, his stomps went silent as he hit ground floor and was out the door.

It took a minute for Tyrone Nial to stop looking behind him down the hallway and turn his attention to me. But then again, who cares? I turn my back to him instead of scowling at him, closing my eyes and relaxing, hoping he'll soon figure it out and leave. "I'm not going."

With a nervous voice, he said, "We're..we were going to watch Electro-Beam."

I moved onto my stomach before I could catch myself. "Did you just say Electro-Beam?"

Tyrone Nial's surprised face caught me off guard and I returned to my original poker face.

Crap, I wasn't supposed to let him get to me..! But that movies series is so cool, and I've been waiting for months for it to come out! I mean, he's already got the tickets so why not? I'll just take the ticket and sit so far away from him that I can't see him. That'll work.

"Fine, I'll go." I say clearly, resisting the urge to smirk at his surprised expression. "But, you have to sit on the other side of the room."

Something flashes across his face but disappears before I can fully take in what it was. Was it just me or did he just look a bit disappointed?

I rolled off my bed and started to put on some shoes and a jacket. Whatever, it's not like we are going to be friends or anything.

In the end I had to sit with him anyway. By the time we got to the theatre room, most of the seats were already filled up. That's what happens when you're late for a movie on premier day, I guess.

Grudgingly, I had to sit right next to him. Luckily, he was scared of me. Scared of what I think of him, or what I'll tell Tadashi. He hasn't looked at me yet even though we're thirty minutes into the movie. Which is great, by the way.

A particularly funny scene came up and I laughed. I heard a deep chuckle and turned my eyes away from the screen to look at Tyrone Nial. I barely caught his grey eyes looking at me when he turned back to the movie, clearing his throat and willing the grin off his face. He isn't sneaky at all. I scowled and turned back to the movie. Why does Tadashi like this guy again?

"That guy is totally gonna die by the end of this movie."

"I know right?" I replied as I reached into the bag of popcorn and took some into my mouth, eyes not straying from the screen.

"Why would he do that? It's so stupid!" He mumbled angrily.

"And what's worse is that those two elements don't even combine to make vibranium!"

"That's what I'm saying!"

The movie went on smoothly.

"This movie isn't as good as the others, I don't like all these new characters." I said.

"Same."

My eyes didn't stray from the screen once the whole movie, even when I passed the popcorn around. By the end of the movie, on the last fight scene, I was screaming in my head in celebration. The whole team was together, and the fighting had gotten epic! One of the characters from the second movie came back and left it on a cliffhanger, of course, right after they held a funeral for the character we all knew was going to die.

Walking out of the theatre, realization hit me as I looked at the car in front of me. I froze, popcorn-filled hand halfway to my mouth. Only when I felt the bag I was holding in the bend of my arm start to slip did I come back to reality.

That was his car..! This whole time... I'd been actually enjoying spending time with him!

A shiver of disgust went up my spine.

Looking up at him, at his cheeky and scrutinizing dimpled grin, at his normally grey eyes now the color of the sky, filled with stars, I couldn't believe how easily he had..infected me..

He really was just as tall as Tadashi. From here I could really see all of him clearly. His nose was long and skinny, aside from the bulb atop his oversized top lip, with loose brown hair and a cowlick at the top of his head. Yet, in this light, outside, in the way of the stars...he was..

Nevermind.

Anyway, we got home safe and I was tired out. He followed me up the stairs, saying he would wait for Tadashi to get home, and for once I didn't say anything about it. I was able to withstand being in the room with him for more than a couple seconds. Gosh, I withstood sitting next to him for two hours! Or was it four? What time was it? It seemed like time had stopped, or like it was maybe one o'clock in the morning or something, like we were outside of time itself, outside of reality..

But what, we left at 7:15 or something? That movie was probably like four hours so it's probably like..eleven something right now. Ugh I need to take a shower..

"So you liked that movie?"

Oh no, small talk!

"Yeah, it was okay.." I said, putting on my look of boredom as I rolled around on my bed, relaxing.

"Tadashi told me you were a fan."

"I wouldn't say I'm a fan,"

"You've seen all the movies in theatre, you collect the comics and have action figures..?"

I rolled on my stomach and glared at him. "What?"

"That's what Tadashi said." He lifted his hands in surrender, a face that said, "I'm not the one guilty here".

I sighed and laid on my side, closing my eyes.

"Hey..." He spoke up. I ignored him. "Is that a magnetic-bearing servo using bot-fighter?!" My eyes snapped open and I heard him shuffle over to my bed. His eyes laid on something past me and I looked to see he was pointing at the bot I used to use for bot-fighting. Now that I'm trying to get in to the nerd school, I don't pay it any more attention.

"Uh...yeah..?"

"Awesome! Tadashi told me you were into bot fighting but he always said it like it was a bad thing! I mean, it's not illegal unless you're-"

"Betting on it," we said in unison. He looked at me with his wide grey eyes and smiled.

"I never did it, but I always thought it seemed cool." He said, pausing before reaching for it, and looking at me as he did it. "Can I?" I nodded. "How does it usually go, are there rules?" He asked as he examined it.

I turned over on my back and held myself up on my elbows. "Nah, not really. Just whoever wins— wins..? I guess.."

"Sounds trippy." He says, pulling at the bot's arms and legs. "No rules? And if you're betting money on it– must cause some problems afterward, or during.."

I nodded. I could agree with that.

He handed it back to me and I put it back in its place on my desk.

At that moment, Tadashi walked up from behind the curtain separating our halves of the room. To my surprise he was completely silent, but I guess he usually was. Again, he was making an annoying face.

When Tyrone Nial turned around and both his eyes and smile brightened, I scowled in disgust. He immediately went in for a hug and if it wasn't repulsive I don't know what is. Tadashi hugged him back, arms around his shoulders.

He glanced at me before pulling back from the brunet and asking, "Did he treat you well?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, actually..Did you know they replace almost all the characters for the fourth movie?" Tyrone Nial refused to remove his hands from Tadashi's waist and it was making me sick.

"I'm sure everyone knew that."

"Shut up! Anyway, how was the-..whatever it was?"

"The 'whatever it was'?" Tadashi chuckled. "It went smoothly, actually it didn't last too long, about forty-five minutes. I got back way before you guys got here."

Both me and Tyrone Nial gave him an incredulous look.

"Why didn't you say anything? Did you hear us?"

"Oh, no. I went late night shopping with aunt Cass."

Tyrone Nial smiled charmingly. Ugh.

"Aw~, you missed me?" He teased.

"Can you guys not? I'm right here!" I complained and they turned to me, as though they completely forgot I was there for a second. Tadashi pulled back and Tyrone Nial finally let go of him.

"Were you nice to Mn?" He asked as though he was a mother about to chastise me for not thanking the icecream man. Mn was Tyrone Nial's nickname from the group. It sounds like Min but is spelt like Mn, according to Fred. Don't ask me how he got it, I have no idea. It was for friends only and I'm definitely not his friend.

"Yeah, yeah, I was nice." I replied, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "Maybe.."

He stared at me for a moment and turned back to Tyrone Nial who was slowly backing up out of my view. "I'm sorry for my brother, he's a big dork. Don't mind him."

His deep chuckle rumbled through the room. "It's fine, it was nice hanging out with him. Hey!" He came back into view and this time he was looking right at me with apparent straightforwardness. "I liked hanging out with you." He told me to my face, and I don't remember anything much after that. I went to sleep soon after that, I think. I feel like maybe Tyrone Nial slept over, but I try not to think about it. Maybe he did go home, who knows? But I do remember a kiss.

I definitely, specifically, remember a kiss. Chaste, maybe even just a peck, but either way- a kiss.

I ignored the burning in my cheeks.


	2. 7 days until Tadashi dies

Happy Halloween! And now the story begins..

* * *

"Good job, little dude!" Fred congratulated, slapping me on the back as he stared at my genius new invention. In front of us stood garbage bins filled with little black nubs I dubbed 'microbots'. Day after day after day I worked myself to the bone on these bad boys, and finally, _finally_ , I was done.

"These are amazing, Hiro!" Honey said as she peered into one of the bins, her golden hair pouring over her shoulder as she leaned over it to get a better look.

"You did good kid." Gogo said plainly, back against the wall of my garage, popping her ever-present gum.

"I can't wait to see you present this! You're gonna get in for sure!" Wasabi assured, walking from the back of my workspace up to me, peeking into the garbage bins as he passed the others.

"Ah, thanks, you guys," I smiled awkwardly. I'm not used to getting so much praise. It felt weird. It was nice. But weird.

"Ok, see you later.." Tadashi's soft murmur catches my attention from inside the garage. I turn towards the driveway just in time to see Tadashi and Tyrone Nial peck each other on the lips. Something in my stomach drops, I can feel it physically making me sick.

Tyrone Nial left on his motorcycle and everyone except me and Gogo made a loud "aaww!". My face unintentionally scrunched up in repulsion while Gogo rolled her eyes yet let a small smile spread out on her face.

"You guys are so cute!" Honey teased with a grin as Tadashi walked up to me.

"You two are too perfect to be real. If you two were to fuse together, you'd be the ultimate nice guy." Fred said from where he stood next to Honey. Tadashi's smile formed into a grin and his eyebrows furrowed making him look sheepish.

"How would that even work?" Tadashi laughed.

"Like Wyvern Circle Z- you'd just touch thumbs and-" Fred touched his thumbs together and mimed an explosion. "Boom! Minashi Tadarone."

"What?" He laughed incredulously, the rest of the team joining in. I found myself chuckling along with them.

"His nicknames have evolved." Gogo smirked.

"They're too powerful!" Wasabi said in fake horror.

"I don't know what any of you are talking about. That was awful." I added and smirked when another round of laughter was let out from the group.

"Anyway," Tadashi sighed, grin still on his face. "We need to do something to commemorate the completion of Hiro's project."

"There's no need to celebrate until the day of the ceremony," I put in, crossing my arms and giving them a cocky smirk. "But.. If anyone wants to buy me some pizza, then that would be plenty appreciated."

"Yes! I love free pizza!" Fred exclaimed, lifting his fist into the air.

"Who said I was sharing?" I smirked.

Tadashi laughed and ruffled my hair. "Alright, alright. I'm not gonna waste my day off NOT celebrating." He put his arm around my shoulders. "To the arcade! It's on me."

"Whoo!" We started to walk out of the garage.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Fred fist pumped the air.

"Not you, idiot." Gogo said, voice as bland as ever.

.

"Why did Mn have to leave?" Wasabi asked as we got farther out into the streets of San Fransokyo. He glanced at us through the rear view mirror as he drove.

I resisted the urge to scowl at the mention of him.

"He had a interview. Said it wouldn't take long," Tadashi explained from the passenger seat. "He might meet us at the arcade when we're done."

"How long will this one take? We might be gone by the time he gets there, seeing as how far most of his interviews are." Go go asked.

"Two hours at the most."

The group groaned.

Why were they so obsessed with that guy? Today's about me, isn't it? Why do they keep mentioning him? Honestly, I hope that interview lasts more than two hours so I don't have to see his face again today.

"Hiro, what's wrong?" I looked up at Honey, sitting beside me, gazing back at me with worry in her big green eyes. I didn't really know much about her, beside her love for Chemistry and pink high heels. She was a very excitable person. She carried a glow around her everywhere she went that just made everyone's spirits rise.

I was tempted to actually tell her.

"He just has a crush on my boyfriend." Tadashi reached back his arm to ruffle my hair and I covered my mouth to stop myself from barfing. "So much so that even hearing his name makes him love sick-"

"Ew- can you just shut up?" I didn't mean to scream but it was so disgusting, the very thought made my stomach hurt. "How can you even joke about that?"

"If you didn't act like such a spoiled brat then I wouldn't have to." Tadashi retorted with a playful smile on his face but I made sure he got a look at the pure disapproval on my face. He pretended that he didn't see it.

"Why do you sound so defensive? Could it be? Our little Hiro likes brunets?" Fred joked.

"Ugh, what? How would you even get that idea?"

"Sounds like what someone with a crush would say."

"I don't know, Hiro, I think Tadashi's got you pretty beat!" Wasabi laughed. The group laughed as I scoffed.

"Is everyone out to get me? I thought this was my present for going through with the project?"

"Well, actually, you haven't gotten "through with" it until you get up on stage and speak but…" Wasabi just _loved_ to be technical didn't he?

It's become a habit for me to roll my eyes in front of them. So instead of encouraging them, I turned my head to the window and watched the scenery pass by. The people on the streets and the large buildings of San Fransokyo coming and going in the blink of an eye.

Everybody had their own lives, their own things to do, places to go..

They all had accomplished something or were working towards it. There was no way to know how any of those people were going to affect our lives in the future, how many people on the street we will actually get to know one day. Who will get to know _me_ one day? Use my invention?

I sigh deeply but quietly, glancing around to see if anyone heard it.

What if it doesn't work? What if..gosh, what if I go on stage and just wreck the whole thing up? What if I look stupid and my invention looks stupid and I _don't_ get in to this school, the _one_ thing I've actually tried hard for?

I sigh again and rub my eyes with the heels of my palms. No, no, this isn't what I should be thinking right now. I'm doing fine, I'm going to do fine. Worry about it later. For now, we are going to the arcade. And I'm gonna friggin enjoy my night out.

The car slowed to a stop.

"We're here!" Wasabi called out.

.

Fact: Gogo, no matter how good at video games she is, was no match for me, and surprisingly has some rage at her losses.

Fact: Fred, despite being a huge geek, mostly stands around watching the others play video games instead of himself, something about he could play it later for free (whatever that means).

Fact: Wasabi gets very anxious playing arcade games, yet somehow gets a high score in most of them.

Fact: Tyrone Nial did indeed come here after his interview.

It had been two hours already? Three? Well, it was hard to keep up, I mean there are a lot of games and a lot of people and I had to at least get a go at beating everyone here since Tadashi is paying. And I _have_ almost beat everyone here.

Tadashi was leaning against the wall somewhere with Tyrone Nial over near the pinball machine- oh my gosh now they're kissing, time to go.

I turn around and speed walk to the other side of the room so that all the machines cover my view of the two. On the far wall, I see Fred leaning against it and drinking a canned soda. I walk over to him.

"'Sup little dude?"

"The bane of my existence is back and flirting with my brother," Shoot, did I say that aloud? "You?"

He gave me a peculiar stare. "Who?"

I sighed deeply and rubbed my hands down my face.

"You know, Hiro," he started. "Arcades are really amazing. They are built for the sole purpose of having fun! So that's what we should do- have fun!" He rose his hands to motion to the place, eyes and grin filled with a happiness that seems to know no pain. He was trying to help me out, I knew it, but it just..it didn't feel _right_.

I couldn't look at him anymore and settled my gaze to the ground.

"...Why couldn't he have just told me?" I mumble, but I'm sure he heard me because it got strangely quiet, still, and I couldn't look up. I wanted to add on but I couldn't.. What else could I say?

"Hiro..." Oh and did Fred's voice sound pitiful and out of character. "..adults make mistakes. We make choices we think are best for others without asking how they feel because we think we know best. Tadashi might be "perfect", but he makes mistakes. I honestly can't explain it to you, dude-" Fred's voice went back to its usual tone. "but Tadashi is always thinking of you, and he cares a lot about how you think of him. Besides your Aunt, you're the only one he has left. And he cherishes you. I think...maybe he just wanted you to.." He paused to gather his thoughts,"-get to know Mn in a way that didn't threaten the bond you two already set in place."

That was...surprisingly mature of him..

Maybe I should calm it down, just a little bit? Maybe Mn isn't all that bad of a guy? Maybe...maybe I'm just being petty and pathetic...

"Thanks, Fred," I really meant it. I met his eyes and smiled, and a bit of that old warmth returned to his own orbs.

"No prob bro, now let's go play some video games!" He placed his arm around my shoulder and lead me into the mass of games.

Fact: Fred is really, really good at video games.

.

"Ok but imagine this: wolf-dragon hybrids!"

"What?"

"It would be a wolf, but a dragon! Like a griffin, but it's," Fred made a motion with his hands, as if spreading paper over a wall. "a "wagon"...wait."

"Buahahaha! A what..?!"

We were sitting outside the park on the stairs. It wasn't crowded now since it's already almost dark. The sky turns from peach orange to a sky blue sinking into a navy blue. There was probably a sunset somewhere but the buildings in front of us denied us the view to see it.

It was a Friday night though, and there were still people out and about: teenagers walking around in party clothes, elderly sitting on the benches in the park just watching time slip by, women and children finding their way home, different stuff.

It's around 7:30ish. We spent, like, four hours at the arcade, then went to get something to eat at the WcDonalds opposite the park, and after an hour we decided we weren't ready to go home just yet, we were enjoying each other's company too much.

And honestly..it was nice. Even though I can't help thinking of these people as Tadashi's friends instead of mine, they are starting to feel a little more like family. Well, not family, but...how to say it? A close friend of the family you've known since you were a kid, so you just end up calling them your cousins, kinda thing. I know for a fact that even though they all spend their time at school, they don't usually have a chance to go out and hang out like this all together, and I can tell they appreciate it. They don't do these kind of things often..and it's nice.

Really nice.

"Mn, what would you name it?"

"Huh?" Out of curiosity, I raised my head, realizing hadn't been paying attention to the conversation anymore.

"The wolf dragon, what would you name it?" Fred asked, as if the question was seriously something he needed to know and his life depended on the answer.

"Uhh, like..I don't know? A Smith?"

"What?" Fred's voice fell flat.

"Like, Griffin is a common last name, and so is Smith so..like..yeah..?"

There was a moment of silence for his stupidity.

"Nah, yeah, that sounds reasonable." Gogo nodded her head.

"Yeah, good job, dude." Fred said at the same time.

"That was really good." Honey nodded and Wasabi hummed in agreement.

What? Really?

"Well, now we know who should make up the nicknames if I'm ever gone!" Fred nudged Gogo's thigh and smirked goofily.

"What? No, that was horrible." I said aloud, but instead of taking it as an insult they all laughed.

Tyrone Nial and Tadashi were sitting against the rail holding hands, Tyrone Nial on the step under him. Honey lemon sat a few steps up(the steps are kinda small) from Tadashi and beside her one step down was Go go, Wasabi sat next to her, and two steps down between them sat Fred. I sat under GoGo and one step down beside Fred. So yeah, we are kinda all over the place. But the stairs are spacious and we aren't really blocking anyones entrance or exit so I think we're fine. It's a park so loitering isn't a problem.

"Haha, yeah no, I think you should keep making the nicknames. I could never replace you Michelangelo." Tyrone Nial grinned.

I didn't get the joke but Fred started laughing really loud and his laugh is so great and obnoxious that I couldn't help but chuckle too.

"Yeah, well, seeing as he made your nickname, Mn, I think he could take a little break. Next one's Hiro!" Gogo rose an eyebrow and a smug look was pointed directly at me.

I shudder.

"He already has a nickname. His name's Hiro!" Fred laughed. "And hey! Mn is a good nickname!"

"Says you."

"Says me-!" He paused, "Says Mn!"

The brunet shrugged carelessly, eyes wide and eyebrows arched but lips in a thin line.

"Hold up," I realize something and they turn to me. " _You_ named him that?"

Fred looked a little shocked at my question. "Yeah..?" He said it with a obvious tone.

"Why..?" I dragged, mimicking him.

Fred grinned and began to get comfortable on his step, turning his body towards me as everyone groaned.

"Oh no." I heard Honey say blatantly.

"What have I done?" I ask myself aloud, jokingly.

"So Mn here," he reached out his arm and patted Tyrone Nial on the shoulder. "has many names. He's from Scandinavia and when he came to America when he was a wee lad his mother changed his name to what you know him as now: Tyrone Nial Evans!" Fred spread his arms wide for some dramatic affect and a awkward lopsided grin appeared on Tyrone Nial's face along with one raised eyebrow and a furrowed one. Honey giggled to herself and Gogo rolled her eyes.

"Only I know what his original name was- and no, I'm not gonna tell you," I didn't ask- "We've been friends for a long time, he and I," Oh he's gonna drag this out isn't he..? "And one thing we never settled on was a permanent name for this child. Tyrone, Nial, baby face-"

"Hey!"

"But! One mysterious day.." He lowered his voice for affect. "the group was hanging out, playing around, having fun, when we started reading _fan fiction_."

"Oh no." I deadpanned. "You know what, I'm ok, nevermind-"

"No, dude, it wasn't anything _bad_ , it was just some regular old x reader type thing." He assured, which didn't really make it anymore assuring. "And because Mn's voice is oh so wonderful and beautiful, and because he said he'd never read fanfiction before, we-"

"You."The group corrected, including Tadashi.

" _We_ ," Fred said again. "had him read one. And it. Was. Hilarious!" He burst out laughing at I guess was the memory of it and the group started to chuckle with him. "So, look, it was his first fan fiction and usually you replace X Readers with names, like ad libs, you know? And so when it says h slash c, that means hair color, or when it says e slash c, that means eye color. So Mn-" and he started chuckling again. "Mn-" he tried again and giggled some more, and it wasn't annoying as much as it was funny, in its own way. "He was trying so hard, and when it says M slash N for Male Name, he kept saying min, instead. And I swear it was funnier than it sounds, it was the best!"

"It honestly wasn't that funny." Tyrone Nial put in but Fred ignored him.

"It was great," Fred wiped a tear. "Ahh...we have fun.." There was a moment of dead silence. "...So in remembrance of that amazing day, I nicknamed him Mn, and that's where he got his name from."

"That was so unnecessarily long and painful." I made sure to say loud and clear.

And so I learned never to question anything again.


	3. 6 Days Until Tadashi Dies

I glared at the two men sitting at the table at the very front of the cafe.

Wasn't it too early to be so lovey-dovey? Did they have to gaze so lovingly into each other's eyes? Didn't they have school?

All these thoughts raced through my head as I glared holes into Tyrone Nial's head. He just didn't have any decency, huh? Playing footsies under the table, caressing Tadashi's hand with his thumb..

Makes me feel like throwing up.

Something warm touched my neck and I screamed, "Ah!" Covering my mouth, I look beside me and see it's Aunt Cass. She's smiling, slightly surprised by my reaction, with her hand on my shoulder. "Aunt Cass, what's up?" I try to shrug off the fact that she scared me for a second.

"Oh, nothing," She says, moving her hand and leaning over the counter with her arms crossed. "Just checking up on you. Is everything ok?"

I turn to her with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

She seemed to hesitate for a bit. Now I'm worried.

With furrowed eyebrows, she moves her body to face me with a gentle but concerned kind of look.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Aunt Cass?" Where is this going?

"It's just..I know you've been stressed and all about getting into school," Ahh..that's what this is about.."And.. I want you to know that whatever happens, I'm here for you. Not to say you won't get in!" She raised her hands in defense. "You definitely will, I know you will! You're a very special kid, you know?" I smiled as her voice softened and she ruffled my hair. "And I know you are going to do something extraordinary."

"Thanks Aunt Cass, but I'm fine. Really." I give her my most convincing grin but she doesn't look any happier.

"Are you sure?" She glanced to her right. "I can tell you think that this whole thing was kinda unexpected."

I looked over to where she had obviously been alluding to.

 _Him_.

I could feel my face begin to burn and I suddenly don't feel like talking anymore.

"Hey, look," Aunt Cass's voice seemed a bit more stern, and when I focused my attention on her again, I could see a sign of disapproval in her eyes. "I don't want you to think that there's anything negative going on here. I know it was a big surprise, but there is nothing wrong with Tadashi or Mn. Tadashi is still your brother and he seems really happy. That's all that should matter."

"It's not _that_ I don't like." I peered at the older man smiling at Tadashi. "I don't care about that at all."

I couldn't look at her anymore, so I ended the conversation with one last statement. "Just forget about it. I'm fine."

.

Fifteen minutes later, the whole crew piled up around the joyous couple. They were all laughing so hard that at some point I just joined them. Seriously, how do they have all this free time?

"Are you serious? Snabe is definitely a bad guy!" Gogo said.

"He was in LOVE!" Fred refuted.

"He was a psychopath!" Gogo argued back, arms crossed..

"Love hurts." Wasabi mumbled.

"Not really." Tyrone Nial said coolly, leaning back in his chair with a emotionless face and crossed arms.

"Ok, but-" Fred raised his finger, trying to think of more points he could make, but he only stood frozen for a couple of seconds before dropping his raised arm onto his stomach and laying back in his chair in defeat. "Man, whatever."

"Honey, you don't have anything to put in?" Tyrone Nial turned to her. She sat opposite from him, next to Fred.

"I've never watched the Henrik Vase movies or read the book." She shrugged.

Even my eyebrows shot up at that.

"What?!" The group exclaimed in shock.

"Yeah, I know, I know," Honey Lemon started but didn't get the chance to finish with all the voices bombarding her with questions.

"How? How could you have not-" Tyrone Nial.

"You're joking, right? That's a joke-" Gogo.

"That's literally impossible-" Wasabi.

"It's like the _one_ mainstream fantasy movie I haven't watched." She said.

"You're coming to my house tonight and we are gonna binge the h- the heck out of Henrik Vase." Tyrone Nial ordered with complete seriousness in his deep rumble of a voice, his thin eyebrows arched over his round almond eyes. I scowled, not missing the obvious censorship over himself. I'm not a kid. It's not like I haven't heard curse words before.

"Oh, Mn, I don't even know if I have time for that tonight-"

"Then tomorrow." He's relentless. "You're not getting out of this."

"No way!" Fred interrupted. "She has to read the book first. If she doesn't know the importance of Meeves to the plot then I'm gonna shave all my hair off."

"Hahaha...that's a joke, right?" Wasabi hesitated to ask. Fred's secretive smile was all he needed for a reply. "Oh, geez."

"You make some real wild promises, dude." I said, finally joining in on the conversation.

"Yeah, you cutting your hair all the way off is as possible as Gogo being satisfied with her bike." Tyrone Nial joked.

"What's that, baby face?" She rose an eyebrow at him and smirked with amusement. The guys hooted at the nickname. "Excuse you? Do you not see this?" He pointed to his chin. "Can a baby grow such a beautiful and remarkable piece of hair on their chin? I think not!"

The group leaned in, aside from Tadashi, to peer at his chin.

"There's nothing there..." Wasabi stated.

"That single millimeter of a hair? I have more noticeable leg hair." Gogo stood up straight and smirked again.

"I think what he means is- he's definitely a baby face." Assured Fred.

As the group laughed, Tyrone Nial smiled and nodded. "Thanks man, you're the bestest friend a guy can have."

"I know," he replied, smirking lazily with his arms spread out behind Honey and Wasabi's chairs. "I pride myself on being super supportive."

"Speaking of being supportive," Aunt Cass walks up to the newly-dubbed "Baby Face". "Tyrone, I could use some help?" She pointed to a group of teens walking in. The grey-eyed man glanced at them and nodded back at her, standing up and forcing Tadashi to move his legs off of his lap.

My eye twitched.

Tyrone Nial had started to help out Aunt Cass at the shop yesterday morning after he slept over. As repulsive as it was to wake up to the sight of my worst enemy and my brother cuddling on top of the latter's bed, the fact that he decided to help Aunt Cass with the busy morning rush gained him some points.

Still don't like him though.

He thinks he can just crash into people's lives and everyone will love him? Not in my household! I mean, who comes into someone else's home and calls the owner, who happens to be his boyfriend's aunt, "Mama Cass"? It's disrespectful and frankly embarrassing. _We_ don't even call Aunt Cass "Mom", so why should he? He's not even related to us!

Something scratched at my brain. "Wait, just Tyrone?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "I thought he went by Tyrone-Nial, his full name?"

"It's just Tyrone." Gogo popped some gum I hadn't even noticed she'd been chewing.

"Huh?"

"Middle name."

"What..?"

"Nial is his middle name," Honey said, "It's not a part of his first name."

 _What_?

"Haha! Mind-" Fred imitated an explosion around his head-"blown."

So it's just been Tyrone...this entire time?

"You seriously thought it was all one name?" I looked up at Tadashi, legs propped up in the empty seat beside him that used to belong to... _Tyrone._

Before I could answer, a loud rhythmic slapping sound coming from beside me grabbed my attention, along with everyone else's.

"Happy birthday to you!" Cass and Tyrone chanted, looking passed me. I turned around and the whole group except Gogo followed along. They were singing to her.

Tyrone came up to the table with a large slice of strawberry and vanilla swirl cake and sat it in front of a grinning Gogo as they got to the end of the song. Hastily, yet still baffled, I joined in for the last two lines and clapped along with them to the awkward-looking young woman.

I had no idea it was Gogo's birthday. Guess I should add that to the list of why Tadashi's friends are strictly Tadashi's friends.

"Really, guys? That was so unnecessary." She rolled her eyes but was smiling as she sat down in the chair Tyrone pulled up for her.

"You didn't think we forgot, did you?" Tyrone grinned, moving to stand next to the sitting Tadashi. Cass stood next to me.

"I know it's really early in the morning to eat cake but school is gonna take up the rest of your day so might as well eat it now!" Cass moved her hands from behind her back to her front, revealing a large plastic bag. She passed it on to Tyrone who thanked her and turned to the group.

"I got gifts!"

"What?"

"No way!" Fred hopped up excitedly in his chair, rubbing his hands together with a eager look.

"Yup," he reached his hand into the mysterious white bag and searched for something. "First, the birthday girl." He pulled out a pack of...gum? Really?

"Is this a joke?" Gogo asks, but she's out of her seat in seconds. "Mn, if you're playing with me right now-" She practically snatches it out of his hand and with one look at it, she embraces him.

Am I missing something?

I look around in clear confusion to get some kind of answer from someone and Wasabi leans over. "Korean-Japanese gum that lasts twenty-four hours. Went out of business last year but was really popular for awhile and you can only get it in Frerea. Gogo _loves_ it."

Ah...

Tyrone passed out more gifts, but this time it was for the rest of the group. "Fred," he pulled out a long white shirt and threw it over to Fred, who caught it with one hand. He unbunched the shirt to look at the front and his eyes lit up. A deep gasp could be heard throughout the room. He turned it around so that everyone could look at it and I could understand why he was so excited. There was a picture on the shirt of two teams running at each other with the intent of battle, all of them superheroes but from different universes. It was a BC vs Marble shirt.

Fred fanboyed as Tyrone moved on.

"Wasabi, for you," he pulled out a toolbox and set it on the table before the man.

Wasabi opened it, hesitantly, only to gasp in joy. His eyes lit up like Fred's. "Are these..?!" Tyrone nodded, grin having never left his face. Wasabi squealed and I had to plug my left ear.

Honestly, I didn't see the appeal but to each their own I guess.

"My liege," Next up was Honey, to whom he placed a medium-sized, pink handbag in front of. "Open it."

She unzipped the top and, just like the others, her face seemed to glitter. She pulled out some expensive looking headphones, a pair of heels, and a jar of what I could see was Mexican candy. "Are those liquid elements inside these little pockets?"

My face began to burn. It seemed _he_ knew how to make everyone happy.

"Sorry, Tadashi.." Tyrone turned to my brother. "Your gift was suppose to be Friday with the zip-lining trip and-or movies but that didn't work out..." He grinned sheepishly and scratched at his head, looking guilty.

A pain in my stomach took me by full surprise. It hit me so hard out of nowhere that I needed a place to sit, but looking around the table I saw all the seats were full. I don't know what happened but...I don't know, I really wanna leave.

Staring at them, my eyes started to burn. I turned around, walked out of the cafe, hoping no one saw me and holding my hand to my stomach, and ran up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door behind me, but it only made my head hurt worse and before I knew it tears were streaming down my face and onto my blankets.

 _What's going on with me..?_

The door clicked open, but I couldn't stand to see who it was in the case that they saw me crying.

"Hiro...? Are you alright?" The voice was soft and deep, and it belonged to the only person I feel ok with seeing right now.

A sob racked through my body and I heard Tadashi stomp all the way over to my bed.

"Hey..." His hand touched my shoulder and I stilled as best I could, my head still buried in my covers. The bed creaked and dipped down where Tadashi crawled on. "What happened...?"

I shrugged. I couldn't trust my voice not to crack. Tadashi's constant cooing and patting eased me up enough to wipe my face as much as I could with my bed sheets and look at him.

"I...I don't know," I sit up and turn over, incapable of looking him in the eye. His hand hasn't moved. "I just.." I sigh, placing my hand on the left side of my face and staring down at my lap. "...I don't know.."

 _I can't get Tyrone's smile out of my mind_..

Once again hot tears stream down my cheeks.

 _How his eyes squinted, wrinkling at the sides._

"Hi..." In the midst of saying my name, he stopped. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me.

 _And then he looked at Tadashi-_

A sudden wave of nausea made me double over, and without realizing it I had pushed Tadashi back.

 _He smiled at everyone.._

 _But me._

Tadashi looked at me in shock, frozen, his arms held out after I pushed him away.

I cringed. "Sorry, I...Tadashi...what's happening to me..?" My vision blurred and my voice cracked and crumbled. I didn't want him to see me like this, but I'd rather him see it than anyone else.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach and laid my forehead on his chest, letting myself cry on his shirt. "What's happening to me..?"

One hand caressed my back while the other landed in my hair.

"Whenever _he's_ around I-..I feel sick! and I..I can't _think_ rationally.." The hand on my back stopped moving. "When I see you guys..laughing and- smiling, my head starts to hurt and..." I sniff, screwing up my face. "What's- what's _wrong_ with me?"

"There is _nothing_ wrong with you, Hiro." Tadashi said sternly. "Don't _ever_ think that." His grip tightened around me.

Hearing it didn't make it feel any more true, because if it was I wouldn't be feeling like this.

"You're _fine_ ," Tadashi continued. "This is normal.." He patted my head, " _You're normal_."


	4. 4 Days until Tadashi Dies

Pictures are on ao3 and i'll upload them to tumblr and deviant art at some point maybe? Also I'm sorry I'm not funny, you guys XD

* * *

"So where are we going first?" Tadashi asked Mn as they strolled through the mall, hand in hand.  
"I was thinking Quests," he replied. "Wanted to check out some of the new shoes there. Then maybe after that we can go to Carly's?" Mn walked backwards while facing him.  
"Treating yourself, are you?"  
"What? I thought you were treating me!"  
"Ha, very funny."  
Mn grinned and moved back to Tadashi's side.

Tadashi's mind wandered to all the things that have happened lately. He finally introduced Mn to Hiro, despite the fact it was unplanned and didn't go too well. Or maybe it went a little _too_ well? It was getting hard to tell. Hiro is growing up. Discovering himself. He's fourteen and already ready for college! And not just any college, but SFIT! He's finally doing something with his life...something their parents would be very proud of. Something _he_ was proud of.  
But then the other day, well, happened. Tadashi had never seen Hiro cry like that..  
"Is there anywhere you wanted to go?"  
It was so out of character for him. Hiro had always been the little boy genius, so capable and independent. He didn't follow Tadashi's footsteps, he crafted his own. He was the smartest kid Tadashi knew. One of the cockiest as well. But at the same time, Hiro liked to hide his insecurities. He brushed them off like crumbs and replaced them with arrogance. But Tadashi could always see through his little raids. The kid couldn't even outright say he had a crush.  
Tadashi almost couldn't say anything. What could he say in a situation like that? He had only been joking that one time...  
"Tadashi?"  
Tadashi awoke from his stupor and blinked at the wide set grey eyes in front of him.  
"You good?" Mn asked, eyebrows knitted together.  
"Oh..yeah.." Tadashi cleared his throat.  
"Is there anywhere you want to go?"  
"Oh..no, I'm ok with whatever. Let's just hang out."  
Mn gave him a concerned look and squeezed their interlocked hands before letting go. "Alright? Well, we're here."  
Tadashi spent the time Mn was looking around thinking to himself about what happened on Gogo's birthday and how it got to this point-

 _"Tadashi!" Honey exclaimed excitedly, only to quickly turn her attention to the younger boy next to him. "Oh my gosh! You must be Hiro!" She got up and ran to him. "I've heard SO MUCH ABOUT YOU!" she ripped out her earplugs and gave him a kiss on both cheeks before leading him to her latest project.  
_ _Tadashi smiled as he watched them interact. When pink powder exploded in both of their faces, Tadashi figured it was a good time to step in.  
_ _"Good job, Honey Lemon."  
_ _"Honey Lemon? Gogo? Wasabi?" Hiro asked, his eyes wandering to the strange man who walked up beside Tadashi.  
_ _A hand was placed on the oldest Hamada's shoulder and upon turning around a soft pair of lips pressed to his.  
_ _"I spilled Wasabi on my shirt one time people. One! Time!" The exclamation forced away the sweet and tender moment, along with Tadashi's shock. He glanced down at his little brother and his dropped jaw.  
_ _"Oh, hey..Mn..!" He tried to smile encouragingly at the older man, who he had yet to even mention to his fourteen year old, possibly judgemental little brother.  
_ _He glanced down at Mn's lips and then back up at his wide set, roundish-almond grey eyes. His short light brown hair was brushed and covered his thin eyebrows for the most part. That day, the twenty-three year old was wearing his favorite cyan blue and black raglan shirt and a pair of skinny jeans with timberlands covering his beige skin.  
_ _"Mn, this is my brother, Hiro!" Tadashi introduced stiffly, eyebrows arched and wide grin in place directed toward the man, willing him to understand the gravity of the situation.  
_ _Mn's eyes widened and his face paled noticeably. He turned to Hiro and grinned awkwardly as Tadashi continued. "Hiro, this is Mn, another weird nickname to add to the book!" Mn elbowed him, his Ben doll grin still in place. "And my boyfriend..of, uh," Tadashi coughed, "two years."  
_ _"It was more than one time, by the way." Mn put his arm around his equally tall boyfriend's shoulders and pointed his free hand's thumb behind him to where Wasabi just was. His expression became more natural and he smiled genuinely, but Hiro's look of witnessed blasphemy had not settled. "Uh..." He was starting to feel the awkwardness setting in, even more than before. "My real name's Tyrone Nial Evans, nice to finally meet you?"  
_ _"I come up with the nicknames!" Hiro screamed in surprise and Tadashi sighed in relief as Fred came up behind him in his mascot costume and introduced himself.  
_ _For the rest of that night, up until he met Professor Callaghan, Hiro had acted differently around Tadashi. He seemed..uncomfortable._

 _Wow, how the times have changed,_ Tadashi thought.  
"You ready to go?"  
"Huh?" Once again pulled out of his daydreaming, he looked up at Mn. He didn't have a bag in his hands so he assumed the man didn't buy anything. "Oh, yeah."  
"Next up: Carly's!" And they took off once more.  
No one seemed to mind them as they passed through the mall while holding hands. It was hard to believe that decades ago people would be brutally murdered for things like this. Of course there were still people out there, but they seemed few in many. None of their friends had ever judged them when they told them they were going out. Actually, they were expecting it. But that was a story for another time.  
"Oh, dude, try this on!"  
"What? Why?"  
"You'd look good in it!" Mn paused. "Well, you look good in anything- but this seems your style. Try it on?"  
Tadashi sighed, but took the hangers out of Mn's hands and headed toward the stalls. "You know, trying on clothes isn't actually all that fun when you're putting them on-"  
"Sh-sh-sh-sh! It'll be like those boyfriend tag things, it'll be fun."  
Tadashi shut the door behind him and Mn leaned against it and continued on with his one sided conversation.  
"We'll take pictures and act all obnoxious like those Instaphoto couples and I'll spam Fred with them when he tries to talk about how lonely he is."  
"Wow," Tadashi said sarcastically. "I thought you guys were friends."  
"This is what best friends do, Tadashi. If I can't make fun of you when you're around then we can't be friends."  
Tadashi laughed.  
After Tadashi finished putting on the clothes, he let himself out and revealed himself to marvelling eyes.  
"So how does this "tag" go again?" Tadashi wore a black and white striped cardigan with a black t shirt underneath, and a pair of black fitted jeans.  
"Gorgeous-" Mn blinked and met Tadashi's eyes. "I mean, what?"  
Tadashi laughed. "Charming." He looked down at the sweater. "What brand is this anyway? Pancake?"

"Ha, no, it's Pancora." Mn walked up and tugged at his striped cardigan.

"Like, the show? I don't know, I thought Character was better-"

"That joke was incredible." Mn smiled with bland sarcasm. "Wow, this sweater feels nice."

"It's a cardigan and yes, it does." Tadashi put a hand on Mn's wrist but didn't move it.

"Sweater, cardigan, same thing."

"Take that back or this relationship is over."

Mn grinned. "Sorry, didn't mean to press your buttons."

Tadashi's face went blank. "Did you just-"

Mn grinned harder, pulling at Tadashi's cardigan and one of its three buttons.

"Unbelievable."  
Mn's eyes almost popped out of his head as he burst out into a fit of laughter. "Come on, that was good! You love me!" He held his hand over his stomach as he leant forward. "Come on, say it. You love me."

Tadashi gave him a blank look but the instance Mn came up to him and put his arm around him in a hug, Tadashi couldn't help a few chuckles. The more the twenty-one year old felt the other's shoulders tremble, the more he found the situation funny and the more he laughed with him.

"Yeah. Alright."

"Ah ha!"  
"Ok. Your turn." Tadashi said after his boyfriend calmed down and pulled away.  
Tadashi searched for an outfit for Mn and pushed the man into the stall with the hangers wrapped with clothes in hand.  
Mn came out a minute later with a low-collared, draping white shirt with the words "Blood Colored" on the front and a bloody grinning emoji face with sideways bug eyes and slits as pupils underneath the brand name. Mn frequently bought these branded shirts, but whenever someone asked about it he said he "just saw it, liked it, and picked it up". He also wore blue jean capris, cuffs rolled up at the thigh.  
"I like it." Mn looked down at it and let his arms drop to his side with a cushioned slap. His gaze returned to Tadashi, who was staring off into the distance.  
Well, he was staring in his direction, but not _focusing_ on him. Like he was deep in thought. His eyebrows were creased above his hazy brown eyes and his mouth was almost in a pout.

"Tadashi?"  
"Huh?" He snapped out of his thoughts.

Mn rose an eyebrow at him. His voice lowered a octave. "Ok, what's wrong?" He had noticed Tadashi had been acting weird since that morning. Mn wasn't going to push it- rather, he wanted to wait until Tadashi would tell him himself, but he was starting to feel ignored.  
"Hiro has a crush on you."  
 _Shoot._  
There was a moment of dead silence, like a gunshot had just rang through the air.  
"What...?" Mn laughed incredulously, but the ripple in his voice betrayed his awkwardness.  
Tadashi sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, pinching the area between his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. "The other day, on Gogo's birthday, I found Hiro crying over you." He peered up at Mn, who had walked closer.  
His eyebrows were furrowed in disbelief and his eyes were squinted as if he was staring at a child's horrific drawing of him. His smile was crooked and forced, like he was gritting his teeth behind his lips.  
"That's impossible," he said. Tadashi felt the air he didn't know he was holding in his lungs quickly release. "Hiro _hates_ me."  
"He doesn't _hate_ you," _Trust me_ , "Knucklehead." He added. "He just needed time to adjust to you." Tadashi arched his brows and pulled his lips behind his teeth. "And adjust he did.."  
Mn scoffed and softly bopped him on the side of the head before turning around and walking toward the rows of clothing. "Sure, he _has_ been a bit nicer since we watched that movie but still!" He swung around on his heels and took a moment to think. "..And even if it _was_ true, it wouldn't change anything. I'm still _your_ boyfriend."  
Tadashi couldn't help but smile at that. He followed him. "Yeah..obviously. It's not like you're gonna dump me and date my brother. My _fourteen year old_ brother." He reminded.  
"Yeah, that's fuckin' creepy, dude. He's practically half my age. And also, he can't compare to you. " Mn grinned and took Tadashi's hands in his, pulling them closer and resting their foreheads together.

"Ha!" Tadashi pushed him back playfully. "Stop trying to be cute."

Mn grinned, pulling Tadashi back to him. He kissed his nose briefly before turning around to the racks of clothing. "Anyway, that's really awkward." He grabbed some layers of clothes, walked around to another rack and got some jeans, then passed them to Tadashi. "Try these on."  
The conversation continued through the stall door, Mn once again leaning against it. No one had said anything yet about them loitering around so they weren't gonna leave just yet. Carly's wasn't even a clothing store. It had a bunch of cool hipster crap in the front, some merch on the walls, two racks of hipster clothing, shelves of provocative and immature toys, and some adult things in the back. The store was relatively small and really crowded with junk that people got for kicks. Memes crowded the shelf where the register was and the wall beside it held pins and cups with pop culture references marked on their fronts.  
"Children are weird."  
"I don't mind them," Mn replied, hands shaking. "They're cute when they're babies."  
"Yeah, but when they become teenagers that's it for me."  
"Teenagers? Five years old are when they gotta go."  
Tadashi laughed. "Well, I've already dealt with one child, don't know if I can take anymore."  
"Mm.." Mn hummed in fake amusement, furrowing his eyebrows and squeezing his lips into a thin line. He took a few seconds to think of how to say what he wanted to say next. "Are you serious..?" He asked, then wished he hadn't.

"Huh?" There were rustling sounds coming from behind him. "...I guess when that time comes, it comes." He said it so nonchalantly. It almost threw Mn off, if it didn't relieve him so much. "Maybe one day, maybe not." The door opened behind him and Mn moved out of the way and turned around, phone in hand. "What brought this on?"  
Distracted by Tadashi's new clothes, Mn was slow to the highly anticipated, as well as unwanted, question. "Uh.." He stammered. "Uh, I was just thinking about my nephew. I was thinking of going to see him soon."  
"Ah," he nodded. "How are Chase and Canba?"  
"Chase is getting around, I guess.." Mn shrugged, wondering when the last time he had talked to his brother was. "Don't really talk to him that much. Kachi either."  
Mn and his brothers were widely spread apart, despite the fact that he usually talks so proudly of them. Kachi is the oldest brother and is known for disappearing for months at a time, while Chase is the second oldest and lives with his husband and child, who's also Mn's nephew, Canba. Chase is a indie singer and musician of various genres. He has CD's out and everything. Though, he still wasn't well known to the general public.  
Tadashi mouthed an O shape and straightened out his clothes, raising his eyebrows at Mn in question. "Picture?"  
The outfit this time consisted of a t-shirt with a cartoon monkey and a smiley face on top of his head with the words _By Military_ \- under it, the rest of the text covered by his long, drooping blue button up cardigan under his tan oversized coat. A blue-dotted white scarf covered both sides of his neck, unknotted, and he wore black skinny jeans.  
After the pictures, Tadashi found another outfit for Mn and waited outside the door while he got dressed.  
"Scared of being tied down?" Mn joked.  
"And you? Didn't Chase get married at your age?"  
"Wow, you sound like a mom."  
"Ha, dodging the question, are we?"  
"Ok, but didn't I ask you first?"  
"I'm married to my pursuit of education."  
"So you're married to Baymax?"  
"It's a joke, moron. Anyway, he's more like my baby than anything."  
"I thought I was your baby?"  
"I don't remember having a kid as annoying as you-"  
"Oh, _wow_."  
Tadashi breathed out a laugh. "You love me."  
"I'm not so sure anymore." Mn said through the door in a condescending way, a hint of amusement in his deep voice.

"Come on.."  
"No."  
"Come onnn..!"  
"Nope!"

A moment of silence followed.  
"You're making the face, aren't you?" Mn accused from behind the door.  
"Mhm.."  
"You know I can't take that pouty look!"  
"Exactly. That's why I'm doing it."  
Mn came out wearing a big tan coat, a pink vest, and a black shirt with a regular pair of blue jeans. The coat made him seem bigger than he was, while the pink vest was a slim fit around his scrawny torso.  
Tadashi grabbed hold of Mn's coat and fixed the collar. Something occurred to him. "Oh yeah, so you're planning on working at the cafe or something?"  
"I don't know." Mn thought for a moment. "Maybe? Just for a little bit until I get a callback. During my free time."  
"Free time?" Tadashi rose an eyebrow. "Don't you mean _me_ time?"  
"Isn't that the same thing? I always feel free when I'm with you." Mn smirked as Tadashi laughed.  
"Wow, that was smooth."  
"Do I detect a hint of sarcasm?" Mn asked, amused, once more strolling to the rack to search for one more outfit.  
"It's the fact that you looked so proud of yourself! You couldn't of possibly expected me to _not_ ruin the mood."

"Honestly, that pun was horrible and never again."

"Wha-"

"Never again."Mn walked back around and Tadashi took the racks of clothing into his hands. The outfit consisted of a blue-lined and white button up and dress pants with a brown leather belt. Simple but classy. Tadashi responded with a vanilla sweater, which miraculously had the acronym MN in big bold letters on the front with squiggly lines emphasising it, and gray sweatpants.  
"Smile!" Mn turned his face away as Tadashi snapped a picture. They took a couple more pictures together before leaving for lunch in the food court.

"Foooood~" Mn was salivating as he looked at the delicious and heart-attack inducing junk food before him. A cheeseburger with a golden bun and fries that sparkled with salt like a ray of sunshine lay on the round table top, across from Tadashi's tray of bronze chicken nuggets and equally as tantalizing fries. Of course, they could have just waited to eat at the cafe, but then it wouldn't be as personal. They ate there every other day. What's wrong with some good ol' cafeteria food in a bustling food court every once in awhile?  
Tadashi gazed at Mn with a sparkle in his eye and a upturn of his lips. Mn regarded his food with relish, lifting the burger up and moaning as he savored his first bite. It was the first time he'd eaten all day.  
Tadashi picked up a fry and bit into it. "How's Fredrick going?"  
"Hm? Mm," Mn took a moment to swallow his food. "Ugh...still needs a lot more work. I can't do anything until the parts come in..."  
"They still haven't arrived yet?" Tadashi asked incredulously.  
"No! It's annoying, too. Just making it is gonna take long enough, and getting the parts that I need has already taken three months!"  
"Have you talked to Professor Callaghan-" the look on Mn's face made the answer clear enough. "No..." He sighed, feeling Mn's pain. He scratched at the side of his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he did it. "Sorry, man. I wish there was some way I could help..."  
Mn shook his head, swallowing another bite. "Nah, I called them and they said if it's not here by Friday then I will probably have to go get it."  
"That sucks,"  
Mn shrugged again, taking another bite.  
Frederick was the whole reason Mn is in SFIT. It's been his project for the last two years, even before he came to the college. Frederick is a machine he's created that is suppose to replace the need for teachers, or even schools, with the ability to retain all known knowledge of academic related topics and transfer all the info in spouts to the brain. Each subject topic should only take two hours to input, and at the moment Mn is programming it with all of history.

Giggles dragged Tadashi out of his thoughts. He turned around to see a group of two girls and a boy glancing their way and giggling. When he caught their eye they were quick to turn away. He turned around with a small wave to which the boy blushed and the girls giggled more in reply before walking off. Mn was looking at him.

"Hey, you think I'm cute?" Mn asked suddenly, expression thoughtful.

"...No, not at all." Tadashi replied with a blank face and monotone voice. "I have nightmares every time I see you."

Mn pouted. "Tell me I'm pretty."

Tadashi smiled. "You're pretty annoying, that's what you are."

"I'm insulted."

"You asked." Then Tadashi laughed. "No, really. They were totally looking at you."

"There's not much to look at." Mn said plainly. "I'm pretty plain."

"Oh please, every time I see you you're being extra."

"I'm literally wearing a t-shirt and jeans."

"I guess you're just a natural. They look _really_ nice on you."

Mn ignored the compliment,"They were definitely looking at you."

"What? Pfft!" Tadashi waved his hand flippantly. "You're just flirting with me."

"When am I not flirting with you?" Mn grinned.

"See? That! That, right there!" Tadashi motioned to Mn's face. "You're unbelievably charming."

Mn took a bite of his sandwich. "There are lies in my chicken sandwich."  
Tadashi chucked. "What does that even mean?"

"Something is amiss." Mn sniffed the air. "I smell bullshit."

"Where did you even get that phrase from?"

"'There are lies in my chicken sandwich?' I got it just now. While eating. It's my new catchphrase."

"That doesn't even make any sense, you're eating a cheeseburger."

"That's exactly it! That's what's amiss!"

Tadashi shook his head and chuckled. " _That's_ why you and Fred are best friends."

"Actually, what's amiss is _how the fuck_ you find me charming. But ok, babe."  
"I question it too. Don't worry."

Pine trees passed by in a flurry of green. A gleam of white crossed over the car's front window as Mn drove surrounded by the lush forest and a honey-colored sky. Tadashi doze off with his cheek in his palm and his jet black hair against the window, mouth slightly hanging open and eyeballs twitching behind the lids as the sun's rays blinked through the branches onto his eyes. The road before them is empty; devoid of anyone except them and the music flowing soothingly around the inside of the car. Mn hummed silently to the lyrics.

"Yeah, I wish you were mi~ne" the soft low voice sung. "Oooh~"  
The acoustic guitar was slowly lulling Tadashi to sleep, but before he could drift any deeper he moved his free hand off the cap in his lap to the hand settled, motionless, atop the shift.  
"As the winter blows, I feel the same.." Mn stiffens up, but quickly relaxes and spreads his fingers on the shift to intertwine Tadashi's fingers with his own. "This new lover calls me lazy.."  
Drifting off, Tadashi smiled softly.  
He could rest, even if it's just for a little while. This was ok. At least until he gets back to the cafe.  
He deserves this.

* * *

UPDATES WILL RETURN AFTER THANKSGIVING WEEK


	5. 3 Days Until Tadashi Dies

There they were, once again, sitting together at one of the tables in the Lucky Cat Café.

I can't help but sigh. _Just get it out of the way, Hiro. You don't even have to talk to him._

Mn had come to pick Tadashi up this morning to take him to school. I don't know why- Tadashi has his own mode of transportation and he's been using it for years now- but I didn't care enough to ask and I honestly couldn't will myself to think that they just wanted to spend time together(they went on a date yesterday, how much more time do they need?).

Right now, the two of them are eating breakfast at one of the tables.

I walk up to Tadashi, carefully trying to keep my eyes away from the man across from him. "Hey Tadashi," I pause, quickly noticing their reaction. Why did they tense up? Or particularly, why did _Tadashi_ flinch when I came up? "You'll be back for the last minute testing, right?"

"Uh," he looks at Mn as if for confirmation. I can feel grey eyes burning into the side of my head.

I'm not going to look at him. I'm not going to look-

Tadashi's expression droops, like he's looking at something heartbreaking. "Yeah, I'll be back. Don't worry, little brother." He turns back to me and smiles, but it seems fake. I glance at their hands, close enough to be touching, but Tadashi quickly moves it away and sits up in his seat stiffly.

A ping goes off next to me, inadvertently getting my attention.

Crap, I looked at him!

He's tracing the notification on his phone, tapping at the screen a few seconds later with a plain, but somehow irritated look. Or maybe not irritated...dejected?

"Do we need to go?" Tadashi asked.

Mn shook his head and slipped his phone into his pocket. "No, it was just Fred. He's gonna help me with my project later today."

Now that I thought about it, him and Fred seem kind of close, don't they? When Fred is around, he seems to talk to him more than he does even Tadashi. But, then again, he doesn't seem to talk that much to begin with.

"I didn't know you guys were so close?"

Tadashi's face lit up.

Oh no, I did it again!

"Yeah, Mn, tell him about Fred and you," He grinned at the older man. It took a moment to affect him, but my brother had certain charms, I guess, and Mn smiled back.

"Actually," Mn's gaze turned to me. "Fred's the only reason I met Tadashi."

Now _that_ made me curious.

Mn's eyes glossed over and his smile softened to the point that I could practically feel Tadashi melting under my feet. "He introduced us.." Realization seemed to dawn on him and he sat up in his seat, clearing his throat and glancing back in forth from me to Tadashi. "We met in junior year of high school. I don't remember exactly how we met but he was in some of my classes and I remembered him being so weird and outgoing that it was easy to befriend him." He paused to think. "In senior year, though, I had some family issues and we didn't talk for awhile. Me and him met back up a few years later and he told me about SFIT. I had already been thinking about Frederick, that's my project by the way, but I didn't think I'd actually be able to do anything with it. But here I am!"

"Until you run out of parts," Tadashi murmured, staring down at his half eaten food. Mn laughed bitterly at that.

"Anyway, Fred invited me to hang out with some his friends and introduced me to Tadashi. And from there, I guess...you can figure that out..." He trailed off, like I couldn't handle the fact that they were dating (well, in truth, I couldn't) and wouldn't meet my eyes. "I wasn't able to get into SFIT until sometime before last year."

"So you named your project after Fred?" I rose an eyebrow at him.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "No, no, weirdly enough. I came up with that name before me and Fred started talking again. It was the name my mother said she would have changed my name to when we moved here."

"To San Fransokyo?"

"To America."

A ring went off, stealing our attention from the conversation. It was a loud, irritating dinging noise and it only got louder when Mn took his phone out of his pocket. He turned it off and turned to Tadashi. "It's time to go."

I looked at Tadashi who nodded in response to Mn and started to eat faster.

"Bye Hiro, see you later." Tadashi waved a couple minutes later as he walked out of the cafe. Mn waved too (halfheartedly), but I ignored him.

The rest of the morning and afternoon went by uneventfully. I tested my microbots a number of times before taking a break in my room to rest.

A discordant loud creak sounded through the room.

Sitting up, I open my mouth to greet Tadashi. _Ugh_... Upon looking up I immediately lay back down on the bed.

"Sorry to wake you?" Mn's voice is as gruff ever as he apologized in the form of a question and stepped into the room. "I'm just getting something for Tadashi. You can go back to sleep."

I sigh and sit back up. There's no way I can sleep with him in here. "No, I'm awake..."

He's looking around Tadashi's side of the room, poking around at boxes and looking at his shelves.

"Oh, um," his voice is nonchalant and his face is the epitome of preoccupation but his movements quicken and I can tell he's in a hurry to leave. "Tadashi is in the kitchen eating if you need him to test out your.." He pauses as he looks at something but I can't see what it is because of the shoji screen blocking the way. He mumbled something and moved on. "..but we are gonna leave after a while for afternoon classes."

 _Then why'd you come back?_ I thought but I didn't have the energy to glare at him. Instead, I sat up at the edge of my bed and sighed.

"Mama Cass's food is way better than the cafeteria food. Not that the cafeteria food isn't good but...well, I like it here..more." _Where no one can bother us_ was left unsaid. Along with _I want to take your brother away from you and have you watch_. "Anyway, just give us ten minutes and you can have him."

 _He's not an object._

I turn around with my back to him. Silence fills the room, aside from the sound of Mn's rummaging.

Seconds pass but it feels like it's taking forever for him to find what he's looking for.

"Hey, do you know where Tadashi keeps his-"

"I...don't know where Tadashi puts _any_ of his stuff." I murmur. "Seems like I don't know anything about him anymore…"

The rummaging stopped. I waited silently for it to start again, but it didn't. Once again, the silence became unbearable.

"Why do you like him?"

"Huh?"

I sit up on my bed and move to the edge. "Why do you like him? Because he's hot?" I shudder, but for some reason I can't stop. I keep my eyes to the floor where my feet sit still and my voice stays little above a whisper. "I don't get it. Is it because he dresses all nice? Be- because he," I scoff at myself. "I don't know, pays for your food or something?"

"What? No, of course not...!" His voice is a low tremor as he replies, confusion hinted in his voice.

"Then what is it..!" I'm desperate. It's so confusing- it's so _aggravating._ I scowl and stand up, turning to look at him. I couldn't do this anymore. He's in every part of my life now. What am I supposed to do? Every time I talk to him, even see him, I get this horrible feeling in my stomach. It's like I'm physically incapable of looking at him for longer than a few seconds.

"I don't know...I like who I like," Mn's voice is calm, the complete opposite of how I'm feeling. But there's a melancholy to it, an awkwardness, like he doesn't know how to act around me. "Nothing specifically."

I don't believe him. I cross my arms and glare openly at him, into his grey eyes, starting to tap my foot impatiently.

He sighs and takes a moment to think, looking away from me as to escape my hard gaze.

"I guess..it's the way he talks to me," he smiles to himself. I frown. "He's always so supportive of me, of everyone for that matter. He never gives up on us or what he believes in." A thought comes to me. I remember when I was giving up on ideas for SFIT and Tadashi completely turned everything around with six simple words: _I'm not giving up on you._ "He's always thinking about others. He wants the best for everyone, and we share the same values. All we want is to make the world a better place and he _understands_ that. Understands _me_. And.." Don't look at me. "He makes me laugh." Those grey pools strike me through my ribs and out of my back through my eyes.

"Ok, I get it!" Even I'm surprised by my outburst. What's wrong with me? Why do I get like this? Why does Mn look in so much pain? Why can't I-

 _Why can't I turn away?_

I blink once. Then I look down at my feet and sigh. I mumble to myself, "I just don't understand why he likes _you_..."

There's a brief silence.

Then he breaks.

"Ok, what have I done to you?" His usually gruff, low voice becomes raspy and starts to crack, but I keep my head down. "I know I'm not the _best_ person in the world but, seriously, I'm really trying here! What can I do for you to accept me?"

"What does it even matter?"

"It matters to me!" He's so desperate his deep voice cracks.

"Why?" I ask, screaming. "It's not like you're gonna be here for long! Tadashi will come to his senses and you'll just leave like everyone else, so you might as well stop with the married couple act now and-" I spot his hand move and I stop. His hand moved.

His hand _moved_.

Right over the dent in his jacket pocket. Just for a second. But then he dropped it, like he didn't mean to draw attention to it, like he was hiding something. Like he didn't mean to let anything on.

Finally looking at his face, Mn is terrified. I can see it in the way his eyes widen, his thin eyebrows furrow up, his lips parted and his teeth gritted behind them.

"You.." I stutter. Mn bites his bottom lip. "You were.." But I can't finish it. My throat feels full of acid. It _burns_ and I can't speak.

"I'll go tell Tadashi I couldn't find it." And he's out the door.

Suddenly I couldn't see. My vision became a blur and my cheeks felt warm and wet.

I was so wrong.

"Hiro? Hiro!" Tadashi walks in on Hiro crying on the edge of his bed into his hands. Minutes later, he's slowly rocking Hiro from behind as he continues to sob. Hiro won't say anything to him and Tadashi won't ask. It's gotta be about Mn.

He had been acting weird since he came back downstairs to eat. He was awkward. He couldn't even finish eating his food- he just- got a to-go box and said he was going for a drive and would be back to pick Tadashi up for class. The thing was, he was still as polite as ever to Aunt Cass, but when he turned around Tadashi saw he had the most traumatized look on his face.

He hugs Hiro tighter to his chest.

What _happened_?


	6. 7 Hours Until Tadashi Dies

Very short last chapter to part 1: 7 Days arc.

* * *

"You're not going to the student showcase?" Tadashi asks Mn as they walked to the his blue pickup truck, lent to him by one of the school staff members.

"Today is the only day I can go get the parts I've been needing." Mn leaned against the truck's door and crossed his arms.

"You can't go get it tomorrow?"

Mn sucked in air through his teeth and made a guilty face. "I don't wanna risk it. Can you just video tape it for me?"

Tadashi pouted. "It won't be the same..."

"It's not like _he_ wants to see me there anyway." _He_ referring to Tadashi's little brat of a brother.

Tadashi's face drooped, mostly because it was true. If Mn was there, it would definitely drop Hiro off his game, despite how many times he's tried to convince his older brother that it doesn't bother him. Tadashi still hadn't asked about what happened three days before. He was sure that when Mn was ready to talk about it then he would.

Mn saw Tadashi's face and his expression softened. He cupped Tadashi's chin with his forefinger and thumb, shifting closer to him and staring into his deep brown eyes. "Look, I'll be back before you know it and you can tell me all about it. It's a four hour drive there and back but you can rest easy knowing I'll be thinking about you every second of the way. Ok?"

Tadashi didn't let up on his pout but nodded his head anyway. Mn smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

Tadashi moved forward and kissed him back. It was chaste and just a simple press of their lips but it felt perfect. Mn pulled back after a couple seconds, to Tadashi's disappointment.

"I'll text you when I'm on my way back." Mn dropped his hand from Tadashi's chin and moved backward towards the door. "Text me when the show is over. Be safe."

"I will."

There was a brief pause when Mn opened the car door and went up a step. "Love you."

"Love you too." Tadashi smiled weakly and waved as Mn closed the door.

 **.**

It's almost been three months and I haven't seen Mn since the funeral.

A lot has happened since the showcase. I got into the school, only for a accidental fire to blow up the place, then I find out that the fire _wasn't so accidental_. Turns out that Professor Callaghan, the principal of the school, was the one who set it aflame.

The group- Fred, Gogo, Wasabi, and Honey- and me formed a superhero team with Baymax to stop Callaghan from killing another big shot engineer, Alistair Krei, who we originally thought was the villain. After that, Callaghan went to jail and I went back to school.

That was two weeks ago.

Throughout all of this, I hadn't seen Tyrone Nial Evans face _once_. Even after Callaghan was captured. So you can imagine my surprise when I see him walk in the doors of the Lucky Cat Cafe.

He looks _awful_. Like he hasn't slept in _months_. His clothes are wrinkled, his jacket is drooping off his shoulders, and worst of all, his once undeniably cheerful wide grey eyes were now stuck to the ground, dead, almost black and surrounded by deep dark bags. His stature is even different. I don't think I've ever seen him hunch unironically since I've met him! Even when his eyes leave the ground to look up at the surrounding tables, his eyelids seem to stay lidded. Honestly, he looks like a real life model of a stressed out, dead inside college student.

Still, it's such a surprise that when he meets my eyes, I still. Somehow he can still inspire some emotion from me. It's really freaking weird. I don't know what it is but I've kind of just learned to deal with it, I guess. I've learned to just accept it. After what happened all those months ago...I don't know, I just gave up. I don't even know what I was trying to do. Keep them away from each other? Why? I don't even remember why it bothered me so much. I do remember, though, the day of the showcase, a couple hours before we started leaving for the school, I had waited for Tadashi to get back from seeing Mn off. _Mn,_ I called him.

" _Is Mn not coming?" I crossed my arms and frowned._

 _"No, he can't, he-" and Tadashi stopped right there. I waited for him to continue but he didn't. I looked at him inquisitively. His eyes were wide and pointed towards me._

 _"What?" I asked, touching my face to see if anything happened to be there. Did I say something?_

 _"You called him Mn..."_

And he seemed so happy about that. It wasn't until I later thought about it that I remembered why. Only Mn's friends call him Mn. I had completely forgotten that. That was probably when I first realized how stupid I was being. I had been calling him by that nickname for days without even noticing.

Speaking of, the man himself was walking up to me. I straighten my posture, stop leaning on the counter and stand to my full 5 foot height.

"Hey..!" I greet, trying to be cheery despite the raging atmosphere of depression coming from the older man.

He stops in front of me and smiles unenthusiastically. "Hey..." His voice is as deep and groggy as ever.

 **.**

We sit at one of the tables in the middle of the cafe. He has coffee on the house, that of which I remember him saying he doesn't even like, but I guess a lot has changed since the last time we met. It's been awkwardly silent so far, but I'm determined to get a conversation out of him.

"So," I start, disrupting the silence and catching his very dark grey(greyer than I remember) irises in my own brown ones. "What have you been doing lately? I don't see you around the college." None of us have, actually. Gogo was even thinking he may have dropped out. We haven't seen him _at all_ in the last three months. None of us.

"Oh, I'm..around.." His voice is so low, I can barely hear him. He drinks his coffee slowly, in little sips, as if savoring it.

"Is that so.." Ok, how am I supposed to respond again? I have a feeling this is not going to be easy. "The crew misses you- you should come visit us sometime!"

"Um..." But he doesn't say anymore.

Ok, yeah, this is gonna be a hassle.

How did I even talk to him before? Was conversation really this awkward? Oh wait. Yeah. We didn't talk.

"Heard they gave you Tadashi's room." He surprises me when he suddenly speaks loud enough for me to hear without a problem. It's about nine in the morning on a Saturday and people want their coffee so the volume rises and falls as the time passes.

"Oh! Yeah..!" I grin. "It's a lot of space for a freshman in first semester but it's really convenient while I'm trying to build up Bay-" I stop myself. "Bots. Trying to build up bots."

Mn chuckles, and it's husky and breathy and it might be the best thing I've heard all day. He's still hunched over but his eyes meet mine and they look a bit brighter. He has a grin on his face too, but it's tired. Lackluster. "I know about what happened, Hiro. I watch the news. I saw what you did." He doesn't sound accusatory at all. He actually sounds...proud?

"Uh, I have no idea what you're talking about." I deny, but he smiles genuinely and, like Tadashi, I feel I might actually melt. My cheeks heat up. "Uh, anyway, what brings you here this fine morning?"

Mn's smile fades and he looks back down at the table into his coffee mug. It takes him a moment but I'm patient. I know it must've been hard to come here. Heck, I wouldn't even leave my room for weeks! "I needed...closure..."

 _Oh_...Of course. Once again, he's only here for Tadashi...

"Oh..." I don't know what to say. I give him a minute to collect his thoughts, but he doesn't say anything else. And thus, we're back at square one. Unbelievable.

I get up out of my seat and scoot the chair in. "Well, come with me upstairs. You can say your peace up there-"

"I..." He interrupts me, not moving from his seat. He looks up at me with bright eyes, but not bright as in sunshine and rainbows, but bright as in tears. Like, right now. "I can't." He gulps. "I'm not ready."

So I sit back down, and he cries to me without tears or anger or bitterness.

"It feels like it's my fault."

"It's not your fault- it can't possibly be your fault."

"I know that but...If I hadn't-" he chokes up, hands in his hair, almost ripping it out. "If I hadn't of left then maybe I could have stopped it..!"

"Maybe." I say. "But maybe isn't definite. You could have died too. No one knew what was going to happen but the perpetrator himself."

"Yet I-" His voice cracks and lowers to a murmur. "I can't stop thinking about it. About him. What if? What if I had been there?"

"We can't think ' What if'. We can't go back in time, Tyrone." I stop him before he can say anymore. Before he can burst out crying and take me with him. "We can't change what happened." I reach my hand out to him and set mine on his. "But we _can_ help ourselves get passed it. We can get help."

 **.**

"I don't need help." I say to myself as I plug the two connectors to each other and watch the massive ring-shaped machine glow a bluish-white over my body. On the top of the metal ring was a screen with the numbers of the exact date of the week before the student showcase. The numbers glowed in a white robotic font.

I stood before it and grinned without teeth, in awe of my creation. It was finished. All these months of hard work and two hour naps was finally over.

"Frederick, take me home."

* * *

This is the end of the 7 Days arc. Updates will continue on January 2nd, 2019. Ya know, if I live that long or whatever XD.  
Comment? If ya want? Thanks for enjoying my awful story so far! It gets better, at least I think it does, in part 2. Mn is voiced, in my head, by DownrangeGaming or Jesse the prankvsprank dude. 84 is in Mn's POV. and yeah, it gets sci-fi-ish(?) and angsty. PTSD stuff.


	7. Mine

Go to my tumblr to learn more about my oc! Warning for dissociation, ptsd, and anxiety from here on out.

It's going to be from Tyrone's pov from now on. There's a pdf file on my deviant art with the emoji's and nice fonts and pics if you want to guess what the emoji's mean for each scene before you read them!

Also there's a lil mmm scene midway through watch out for that, it's only a to Tadashi Hamada is Mine part 2: 84!

* * *

84

Part 1: Intermission

 **.**

 _Soft, chill music played throughout my room, accompanied by the sound of pages turning and pencil lead scraping across lined paper. We've been sitting on my bed for hours, focused on studying while we used the sunlight from my left window as our only source of light. We were facing the tv, our heads bowed and legs crossed to make more space on the bed. The door was only a couple steps from the tv and to our right was my closet. Next to my bed to the right was a small desk with a doc with my phone plugged up to it, playing music aloud.  
_ _I felt a little too aware with Tadashi in my room, even though he's been here many times before. It just felt...weird, to know that he was in my personal space, my room, without anyone else being in the house here with us. We were just studying, and it's not like it would escalate anywhere except watching tv or playing video games, but still..? People don't usually come to my house.  
_ _I glanced at him, locks of my hair blocking my view a bit but not enough that I couldn't see him._

 _He's really focused on his work..  
_ _I look back at my textbook. I've written down a lot of notes and have finished most of my work but-  
_ _My thoughts are interrupted by a jab in my side.  
_ _I looked at Tadashi, whose eyes were glued to his textbook and notebook. But the longer I stared at him the more his focused face gave out into a small smile and that smile into a grin. His eyes flickered up to mine and I grinned back and poked him in his side in return.  
_ " _How old are you, eight?" I asked him.  
_ " _Haha...eight year olds usually don't have to do college homework." His eyes flickered back to his book and notes. He read over it and closed his notebook and textbook.  
_ _I shrugged, leaning back with my arms holding me up and my books in my lap. Tadashi set his stuff aside and looked me in the eyes._

" _Speaking of young prodigies, how was your date with my brother?"  
_ " _Mnn..! Don't call it that..!" I whined, face contorting to look a disapproving._

 _He laughed. "So bad, then?" He asked, a light smile on his face.  
_ " _..No." I thought about it. "It was okay, I don't think he didn't like it. I think he still needs some time to warm up to me but he was actually pretty cool to hang out with- well, of course he was, he's related to you."  
_ _Tadashi's expression changed from surprised to confused then to realization and flattered in only two seconds. "Aw~, that was cute." He grinned, brown eyes softening as he punched me softly in my shoulder.  
_ " _But yeah, he's pretty funny. We had a great time at the movie." I continued, studying his face and my eyes landing on his lips to see what form they would take now. The corner of his lips stretched up for a quick second, showing some of his teeth, before they went back down again and came back up, as if he was conflicted on being surprised or happy. His eyebrows were arched and his eyes were cloudy.  
_ " _That's so great..!" He trailed, his hand on my shoulder. It trailed around to my other shoulder and he pulled himself against my side in a one arm hug. "I'm glad you guys are getting along...better." He squeezed me, still keeping his arm around my shoulders after. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there to see it with you.."  
_ _I shook my head, looking into his eyes as I place my right hand on the one on my shoulder.  
_ " _It's not your fault. You had to go."  
_ _He laid his head on my other shoulder. "I know.." He blinked slowly, eyes wandering off before meeting mine again, lips parted. There was a brief moment of silence with us just gazing at each other and music playing in the background saying,"won't cry..won't cry.." over and over with a couple of voices and a guitar and keyboard. Harrison Storm-Be yourself, I recognized it as.  
_ " _Your eyes are really pretty…" Tadashi's voice caught me a bit off guard._

 _I laugh. "...Thank you.." I trailed afterwards, voice low. Though I do think his eyes are more attractive, it might be because I'm biased, and because it's him. His eyes are like pools of dark chocolate, like freshly watered soil. His pupils are always blown wide and I think that's testimony that he always sees the beauty in everything._

 _Without looking away, I moved my notebook and textbook behind me where it couldn't bother us. He moved a bit to give me some space but right after he put his head back on my shoulder and I glanced down at his lips. When my eyes met his again he didn't seem to mind, so I placed my hand on his neck and brought us closer. I closed my eyes slowly, his mouth moving closer to mine.  
_ _His lips met mine, thin and soft. My hand moved to his waist and he sat up, both arms around my shoulders. I nibbled on his bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth and pulling him closer at the same time. His chest leaned against mine and he tightened his arms around me as my fingers caressed his nape and the back of his head where his thin black hair started to thicken.  
_ _It was in moments like this that I knew that Tadashi was mine.  
_ _Tadashi_ is _mine._ _  
__Tadashi tilted his head and molded my lips with his, a moan coming from deep in his throat.  
_ " _What if I..don't want you to go away, would you stay~?" Lyrics poured from the doc. "What if I..ask you what you saw in me, what would you say..?"  
_ _Tadashi chuckled against my lips and I smiled, opening my eyes enough to get a good look at his face with my forehead pressed against his. His eyes stay closed._

" _Are~ you mine? You mine?" The chorus started.  
_ " _Yes.." He whispered, breath ghosting over my lips before capturing them again. I smiled into the kiss and hummed, closing my eyes again and sinking into his warmth.  
_ " _I love you.." I whispered against his lips before pulling him back in for a kiss, pulling his head closer to mine. Our noses pressed together but it didn't feel uncomfortable at all.  
_ " _I love you too.." He whispered back, deepening the kiss and opening his mouth for my tongue to enter between his lips. At some point he started straddling my lap and I had to tilt my head back to keep up with the height difference.  
_ _In seconds Tadashi was on his back on my bed with me on top of him. He hissed and moved his textbook and notebook away from us after what I think was him incidentally scraping his side with the edge of his textbook. His stuff fell on the floor but he didn't seem to care and pulled me down by my cheeks to his lips. I pulled my hand out from under him and pushed my own books off the bed and onto the floor with the same amount of nonchalance. But the_ thump _of the books hitting the floor struck something in me-  
_ This feels kinda fast…

 _I mean, I don't wanna pull away but I don't care to go any further either. I mean, of course we've made out before, but not like this..  
_ _I don't really have much of a problem with it but..what if Tadashi does and he isn't telling me about it? We've talked about this before...  
Tadashi's hands moved to my shoulder and scratched at my sleeve softly. At the same time, I reached my arms under his to grasp his shoulders and settle myself in a more comfortable position against him. Our chests were pressed together and I could feel his rise and fall against me. His legs are flat against the bed beside mine, and when I moved to get more comfortable a moan erupted from Tadashi's mouth and he pulled away. Even though it was a accident, Tadashi looked up at me with the back of his hand covering his mouth and pink cheeks, eyebrows furrowed up with troubled brown eyes,  
_ " _Um.." I waited for him to continue, pulling myself up by my elbows. "This is great and all, really, but..I'm not ready to go any further than this.." He glanced to his side then back at me, to which I nodded eagerly back, agreeing.  
_ " _Yeah, I totally get it." I say, beginning to pull back and give him some more space. "I was totally thinking the same thing."_

 _He sat up with one arched eyebrow and suspicious eyes, hand slowly moving from his mouth.  
_ " _No, I'm serious." I insist, fixing my clothes and motioning with my hands to my serious face. He arched both eyebrows, then laughed and looked to the doc, now spouting chill trap and future bass instrumental music, a small smile on his face. I grinned. "Asshole."  
_ _He laughed harder.  
_ _Regarding him, I can't help the smile that grows across my face. He really does have beautiful eyes.  
_ _Yeah...yeah, he's definitely mine._

 _〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰_

 **.**

Mine

 **.**

I haven't slept in three months.

Two months and twenty-three days, exactly.

Day after day, night after night. Plug this here, tweak that, plug that into that, that goes there, no _there,_ try again, Mn, try again, no- try _**harder**_. Connect those two things, now those three things, now those four things, plug that into that again, try again, insert this code, connect those two things, connect those three, connect-

Connect, connect, connect.

" _Waowaowaowaow_ _,_ " _Ding! "_ Type in the year of necessity."

I stood in front of Fredrick and the blue tinted glow from its portal-like opening. Its metal rim was shaped like a heptagon and underneath its foundation was a flood full of wires and tape and plugs all over my lab's floor. Plugs and wires. So many plugs and wires…

On the top of the metal rim was a blank, blue, rectangular screen. I looked at the keyboard beside me, small but efficient. It was connected to a stand that reached my hip and all I had to do was type in a date and at the top of Fredrick would appear a set of numbers.

 _One week before Tadashi-_

 _Seven days before he…_

Seven days before I save him _._

I look up at the set of numbers. It's been years since I've started working on Fredrick, and the only reason I was able to finish it was because of Tadashi.

A grim chuckle clogs my throat and my eyes start to water. What would Tadashi think of it? Of Fredrick now that it wasn't a learning device? Of me? Now that I turned out like this? Would he be proud? Or disappointed that I gave up on my dream? My life's work?

I sigh. No use thinking like this. When I go back in time and save Tadashi, I can rebuild Fredrick like it's supposed to be.

Clenching my fist, I take in one deep breath, steadying myself for the first leap of faith. Will it work? If it doesn't, what will I do? Try again? Give up? I don't think my heart can take any more of this. If it doesn't work-

I huff again and stare deep into the pale blue vortex. If it doesn't work then I'm done. No use sugar-coating it. I won't waste any more of my time. I'll find some way to get on with life...somehow.

And with that, I take my first step inside.

* * *

I open my eyes and the first thing I notice is how my eyelids are heavy with sleep and my body is laid out sideways, atop a soft surface. It's a bit cliche but the moonlight is pouring down onto my face, soft and highlighting not only my skin but the person's in front of me. My vision was already blurry from the feeling of waking up, even though I hadn't been asleep before (or had I?), but it wasn't getting any better as I gazed at the face before me. I barely felt the warm tears streaming down my face.

I wanted to see him. See his face clearly. I wanted to know this was _real_.

I sniff, reaching my hand up and pausing more than a few times. This can't be a dream. This couldn't be a vision. I've made Fredrick. It's finished. It's no longer a tool for learning, it's a time travelling machine. It's not programmed to show videos of history through time anymore. It's supposed to take me there. I _am_ here.

This is Tadashi.

My fingers graze his cheek. There's no ripples over his body to indicate he's a hologram. He doesn't fade in or out like a ghost. He's warm.

He's real.

And that's when the waterworks started. I tried not to sob too loud as to wake him up as I settled my hand on his cheek. He squirmed a bit but didn't wake. He's so _beautiful_. His skin is so soft. I cup his head, my fingers caressing the nape of his neck, then lean in and press my lips to his.

Tadashi must've woken up because he starts to squirm under the sheets and moans deep in his throat. His hand comes up from the tight space between where I lay and where his head pops out from under the covers and he lays it on my cheek. He moans again and chuckles tiredly, ending the kiss but keeping our lips close. His grin is lopsided and his eyes remain closed. It's the most romantic sight I've ever seen.

"What's got you so excited this morning?" He asks, voice low and groggy. Sleep-ridden and ignorant to everything that's happened, or didn't happen. He has no idea, can't possibly know how much joy I feel just being able to see his smile.

I clear my throat and try not to let my voice tremble as I reply. "Seeing you…"

Tadashi only laughs, and even though I was completely serious about what I said my heart warms at the sound.

Tadashi finally opens his eyes and I realize I forgot to wipe my face, but then I forget again as I get lost in his brown eyes. "If you're that tired just go back to sleep.." I was too busy staring into his eyes to be glad I didn't have to make up an excuse for crying like this.

"But then I wouldn't be able to look at you."

"You watching me while I sleep?"

 _This_. _This is what was missing._ "Heh, you make it sound so creepy…"

"So you admit you _were_ watching me sleep?" He closes his eyes again and shifts closer, the bed creaking with the effort.

"Why dream when everything I want is right here?" I whisper, barely keeping my voice steady.

He grins sleepily. We're enveloped in a comfortable silence, the only sound in the room is Hiro snoring in the distance and us breathing together. I can't find the will to close my eyes despite how comfy this bed is and how tired I suddenly feel. It still doesn't seem real. He's right here, in front of me, sleeping right beside me. It wouldn't be the first time, but it feels like it is. Our lips are so close that are breaths mingle. At this moment, there's nothing I want more than to hold him close to me.

"Aren't you cold?" Tadashi murmurs into the silence, shocking me. He looks like he's asleep but he's probably just barely on the edge of consciousness. "How do you sleep like that…? Get under the covers…"

I scratch gently at the hair on his nape. "I'm okay like this…"

His voice is a bit more stern and awake this time. "Get under the covers and cuddle me, nerd."

I laugh and give in. I take my hand off his face and lean up to pull the covers down.

"Shut up, you'll wake Hiro."

"Asshole." I whisper as I get under the sheets and immediately come into contact with his warm limbs. He wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head into my chest as I intertwine our legs. He breathes in deep and sighs.

"Shut up, you'll wake Hiro." I mock.

Tadashi groans softly and stills, apparently comfortable. I wrap my arm around his shoulder and for a couple seconds I just listen to his breath slow.

"I love you…"

"I love you too…"

I never thought I'd hear him say it again. It's like a dream, like a illusion. Any moment now I'm expecting to wake up, alone, inside my lab. _This. This was what was missing._

It's hard to keep my body from trembling and keep the tears at bay. He's still here...he's still with me. He still smells of coffee and medicine. His hair still soft and thin and skin still hot and smooth against the tips of my fingers. He's _still perfect._

With Tadashi buried in my chest, I fall asleep for the first time in months.

 **.**

Hiro groans. He's finally awake, it seems. His bare feet slap against the wood floor as he walks passed Tadashi's side of the room and disappears down the stairs. I'd like to say I pay him no attention but it's hard when you know your boyfriend's younger brother likes you before he does himself. I almost forgot that this is the day right after we went to the movies.

It would be too dangerous to travel to the morning right before the showcase. I wouldn't be mentally prepared for it, and if I got the time wrong then I'd be too late in saving Tadashi. I couldn't risk it. Also, there's some things this week that I remember I should of probably paid more attention to- AKA Hiro and him discovering my secret, and also having a crush on me.

Tadashi sighs and I bring my attention back to the view in front of me. Tadashi's facing me, chocolate eyes lidded and dazed, staring into mine while I caressed his cheek and vice versa. I ran my thumb across his bottom lip and he leans in, pressing his lips to mine gently. He pulls back slowly, a second later and way too fast. We've been like this since we woke up and it's probably why Hiro left.

I am too comfortable to get up and get breakfast. It may just be obsession talking, but I honestly feel like Tadashi's more precious than food. But Tadashi was getting tired of just laying around and soon enough we got up to get something to eat.

On our way down we passed the kitchen, or, Tadashi did. Something picked at my brain, causing me to stop. Mama Cass had told us good morning as Tadashi sped down the stairs, hand in hand with me, until I abruptly stopped at the top of the second landing.

"Good morning, Aunt Cass! Uh-!" Tadashi was a few steps down the second set of stairs before my hand slipped out of his. He turned to face me.

It took me a second before I remembered what I wanted to do here, then it hit me. "Um, I'll catch up later." I glanced at Mama Cass as she cooked us up some pancakes.

Tadashi paused, then said, "Yeah," and raced down the stairs.

I turned back to Mama Cass.

"Mn," she acknowledged, working on flipping pancakes. "Anything I can help you with?"

"Hey, Mama Cass..!" I drawled, taking a big step forward with one long leg and my hands in my jean pockets. "How are you? Sleep well?"

She laughed knowingly, eyes focused on her act of scrambling eggs. "Great, thank you. You too, I bet." She had something of a cocky curl to her grin.

"Haha…" I tapped my finger on the counter opposite the wall and to her side, next to the sink. "I was just wondering something."

She made a noise symbolizing she was listening. I trudged forward, feeling awkward.

"You are practically Tadashi's parent, right?" I leaned against the counter.

"...Right."

"I mean, you're their guardian. Since, you know, their parents are.."

"Yeah..?"

"So since you're their guardian, that means you would do what their parents would do if they were here…" she said nothing. "Which means, practically- you're their mom!"

She laughed silently, shoulders shaking, looming over the stove.

"And by extent, you're their dad too!"

"What's," she turned around, eyebrows knitted with a confused grin. "this about?"

I gulped. I'm really messing this up aren't I? "So if someone were to, I don't know, ask Tadashi to prom, then it would be you that would give them the stern talking?"

"Are you saying you want to take Tadashi dancing?"

I squeezed my eyes hard, internally cringing at myself. I must've not got enough sleep last night. "No, No, that's not it.." A ding went off behind me and I jumped. I turned around and the coffee machine just got done. Had I pressed that?

"Oh! I'll take that-"

"No!" Crap, why did I do that? She stood confused. I quickly grabbed the coffee. "I'll take it. What table is this for?"

Her eyebrows arched up before she told me table seven. "Add some sugar."

I served the fellow downstairs, trying to think up a way to ask her if I could marry Tadashi. I mean, not to be rude, but I would do it no matter what her answer is.

When I came back up, instead of doing what I'd originally planned I ended up just helping with more orders. By the time we finished I'd probably served twelve tables, including Tadashi and Hiro's. Tadashi waved at me with a lifted eyebrow and a charming smile as I passed by. I stood at the counter, a sweat on my temple and a hand on my waist as morning rush finally slowed down. She got one look at me and then laughed.

"Wow, Mama Cass, if I didn't know better I'd think you were taking advantage of me." I smirked, panting, hand on the edge of the counter to hold me up.

"Me?" She said as if offended, a fake appalled look on her face. "Why, I would never!"

I laughed, then looked over at Tadashi only to see Hiro glaring my way.

 **.**

I skip going to the interview to go get the parts for Fredrick instead. I left earlier than the last time this...happened? The first time today was today? Anyway, I said goodbye to Tadashi right after breakfast, confident I'd see him either later today at the park or tomorrow morning.

The drive was still long and infuriating for morning traffic, but it gave me time to think up a plan. First off, save Tadashi, then remake Fredrick the way he was supposed to be made, then propose, then graduate, and lastly get married (If he says yes) and live the rest of my life however it goes.

Yeah. Good plan.

I laugh at myself. No. Horrible plan. I can think of the specifics later. Write them down.

In actuality, I really just don't want to think about what will happen if this _doesn't_ work.

Speeding down the highway, I was able to make it back, tired, mind you, when they'd just got out of Wcdonald's and made it to the park. I sat next to Tadashi and Honey on the steps, just as I did last time. I was there to hear Fred tell the whole "Wagon story" all over again. Granted, it was still hilarious.

"What? No, that was horrible." Hiro said, causing an uproar of laughter in the group.

I smirked. "Oh, like you could do better?"

The group let out some low oooh' s. Hiro's smirk turned into a frown as he stared at me.

"Actually, yes." He retorts. "I could."

"Well," I leaned back against the steps. "Go ahead."

He stilled, face flushed, then started to fidget, eyes glancing to his left and then to his right, looking along the group at almost everyone but me. He's caught off guard.

"I'll wait." I said, giving him my cockiest smile. He tensed, eyes locked on mine, then he scowled and crossed his lanky arms, but there was a glint of challenge in his brown eyes. I noticed with amusement the death grip he had on his blue-clad arms, leaving his knuckles bone white and contradicting his red face.

His eyebrows lower with the malicious smirk growing on his face. It stays red. "Alright." He relents, his voice casual, shrugging and arching his eyebrows. He takes a moment to think, looking to his left, towards the park and it's greenery. There were very few people up there, if any. I didn't see anyone on the benches near the gate when I walked up the sidewalk to the stairs earlier. Everyone stayed silent as they let him think and it was starting to feel awkward. Thankfully, it didn't take him too long to come up with something. "Abronia Canis." He looked me straight in the eyes, as if daring me to one up him.

"Ah, from the order Squamata and Carnivora. Lizards and canines." I recalled, impressed. Tadashi squeezed my hand but I kept my gaze focused on Blue Jacket.

"And the families Cordylidae and Canis."

I clicked my tongue and pointed at him with a finger gun. "Cordylidae _Canidae_."

"Right..!" He snapped his fingers, grinning sheepishly.

"But I can do you one better. Smaug Canis."

"Pseudopus Canis!" Fred's boisterous voice chimed in, shocking both me and Hiro. I'd somehow completely forgot he was there.

Tadashi laughs behind me, probably getting the blunt of my jump. I turn to him and he seems a bit confused. Now that I think about it, Fred is probably the only one who knows what we're talking about. Both me and Fred had a three week project back in high school that depended on classification of various animals, which scarred me for my whole life, it seems.

"Smaug's better." I say matter of factly, turning to Fred.

"Team Pseudopus!" Fred exclaimed, fist pumping the air and almost hitting Wasabi in the face.

"I disagree wholeheartedly." Hiro said. "Abronia is obviously the superior one."

"Unbelievable…" Tadashi used his forefinger and thumb to pinch at the bridge of his nose.

"Dorks." Gogo said with a smile. "Yeah, using this as an example _and_ the fact that you named him-" she nods towards me."-Mn, I think we all can agree you should take a little break. Next up's Hiro!"

I grin, realizing that she must've been keeping that thought held back since the Griffin joke.

* * *

"He's definitely a baby face."

"Thanks, best friend. You're the bestest best friend." I say before mouthing "Asshole" to Fred who's sitting across the table, to which he laughed heartily. It's the day after the arcade, and the group and I all hang out in the Lucky Cat Cafe to celebrate Gogo's birthday before we have to head to SFIT.

"I know, I know. I'm the greatest. I pride myself on being super supportive." Fred says.

I stand before Cass has the chance to touch my shoulder and she startles behind me. "Hey, Mama Cass!"

"Mama Cass?" Gogo repeats, amused.

Cass snickers as I put my hand on her shoulder. "Yeah," I grin. "Mama Cass."

I go with her to get the cake, debating on whether or not I should spare a few seconds to ask her today, then deciding against it because _nerves_.

"Happy birthday!" Gogo wasn't much of a hugger, but I enjoyed her's a lot and I knew I could get used to this. It didn't take me long to figure out that some things were fixed in time. The conversation yesterday was bound to happen in every reality, it seemed. And today, despite my different responses to our conversations, we still ended up talking about Henrik Vase. And apparently I have a date with Honey tonight.

As I finished giving away presents a second time around, I noticed Hiro scurrying away and up the stairs.

Didn't Tadashi say something about Hiro crying over me?

I notice Tadashi moving to stand and I stop him with a hand on his shoulder. He gives me a puzzled look. "I'll see what it is."

He goes to say something but stops himself. "You sure?" He asks instead. "I'm not sure he's too comfortable around you yet."

I nod, giving him my cheesiest grin. "Leave it to me."

I knock, giving Hiro a few seconds to either gather himself and let me in or tell me to go away. When there's no answer but a muffled sob, I open the door and walk up the stairs into his room. I find him on his bed on the other side of the room, sniffling into his bedsheets.

"Hiro?" He tenses at the sound of my voice. "Are you alright?"

He breathes harshly into his comforter, shoulders trembling, before muttering something I can't hear.

"What?"

"You need something?" His voice is strangely tame as he looks up with a wet face, staring me in the eyes and looking miserable.

So _this_ is what Tadashi was talking about. This was what heartbreak looked like on a person. I had expected something but not quite _this_. It hadn't quite hit me that despite the confidence Hiro had, the bravado he put on, he was still a fourteen year old distressed teen. Tadashi had told me enough about Hiro that I already felt like I knew him, about how he never asks for help and how he is reckless but sensitive and strives for approval. But from what I gathered the months that I knew him, and the two weeks that I actually kinda spent with him, he was a completely different person. He was _real_. He _is_ real. Seeing this just makes it so much more obvious. This is the first time Hiro's actually let me see him like this, in this reality anyway. He's just like what Tadashi said. Even at Tadashi's funeral, Hiro hadn't gone to the reception. But the fact that Hiro could still look me in the eye…

He wipes his face and lets out a breath as I say, "I just, um.." Fuck, what _was_ I gonna say? "wanted to see if you were.."Ok? Of course he's not ok! "Alright?" I sigh, berating myself over how dumb I am. "You didn't want a gift, did you?" A joke, yeah, let's go in with that. Safe ground.

To my surprise Hiro lets out a laugh, but it's low and mocking. A incredulous grin is on his face as he looks straight at Tadashi's Japanese wall corner thing. He looks back at me, brown eyes red-rimmed and ready to say something. "I have no idea what my brother sees in you.." He's smiling but it's more like he's holding back tears than anything, I can see his teeth behind his lips and something in his eyes I can't quite recall. It's just like that day, the day he found out about the ring. I had no idea why I had been carrying it in my pocket all day. It wasn't like I planned to propose then, but it was like a constant reminder. A keepsake that I kept grasped in my hand all day that things would be great. A future would come that I had to look forward to. That I'd waited my whole life for. It made me equally nervous and calm. It would have been awful if I had lost it. Do you _know_ how much a ring costs? But I couldn't help running my thumb over the case whenever I saw Tadashi smile. I hadn't meant for Hiro to see it, but he did, and there was nothing to be done once it was did.

"Charming grey eyes and a warm green hoodie?"

"...Unbelievable." He shakes his head in awe, like he seriously can't understand the being right in front of him, mouth slightly agape and the gap between his two front teeth showing, thick black eyebrows furrowed. There were obvious differences between them but sometimes they seemed just alike, Hiro and Tadashi. Whether it was their mannerisms or their same chocolate eyes and thick eyebrows. "I just don't get it. What is it? You're just so...you."

"Thanks."

"Is there any reason you're here? Don't you have gifts to give away? Flirting to do?" He leans his cheek in the palm of his hand to help sit him up, like he's genuinely interested, but it's obvious he's mocking me.

"I can flirt anytime. Right now I'm here for you." Hiro's eyes widened and I _probably shouldn't have said it like that._ I sigh. "Look, I know it seems hard to understand but I _like Tadashi_. It's not a joke and it's not to get back at you or something. If it's because I'm a boy-" Which it definitely isn't."-then I don't know what to say, dude. It's the twenty first century. Nearing the twenty second-"

"It's not because you're gay-" Hiro interrupts as he rolls his eyes.

"I'm not _gay_ , I'm demisexual." I defend, putting a hand to my temple more in habit than in annoyance or pain. "Not that you'd know what that means anyway but we'll get into that later. What _I_ don't understand is what exactly you see wrong with me." He never quite answered that question when we last had this argument either.

"Nothing! There's nothing wrong with you, I just-" he shoves his head into the comforter for a second, calming down before looking back up, eyes glistening and a sniffle. "I don't know what's wrong with _me._ "

Realization dawns on me. Ohhh... _ahhh..._ so _that's_ it. He goes silent and I uncross my arms, straightening up. I have no idea when exactly I got in this stance but it doesn't really matter right now. He's confused and miserable, and that look in his eyes earlier is tenfold now, making it easier to make out: loneliness. He's lonely. I know what _that_ feels like. "Hiro.." I give him my softest voice, really not wanting to startle him or make the silence any more stiff than it already is. It's like there's an echo in here and the pause between my words seem longer. The air is suffocating. "There is _nothing_ wrong with you…"

He stills for the hundredth time, looks at me, surprise in his wide eyes, and like a dam bursting tears pour out of his eyes. He doesn't stop me when I walk across the room, stepping over forgotten clothes and papers, to comfort him. I sit on his bed, the back of my knees against the edge, and rub his back soothingly as he sobs into his comforter again. He doesn't pull away from my touch, rather, he seems to relax when I run my hand through his thick bouncy hair. Aside from the length, it feels just like Tadashi's.

After a couple of minutes he lifts his head, leaning up on his elbows, eyes red and snot closing in on his lip, face tear-streaked. He doesn't look at me, but he moves closer and puts his head on my lap, looking up at the ceiling and sniffing up snot, rubbing it away on a blue sleeve. I switch hands and continue to rummage through his hair. "Why didn't he tell me?" He says after a minute, voice low and broken. I didn't need to ask what he was talking about.

"He wanted to make sure-" I stop and start over. "We wanted you to be comfortable with me before we told you. We had planned for him to introduce me as a friend at first but I made a…" It wasn't a mistake. Definitely wasn't a mistake. "miscalculation."

"We were suppose to tell each other everything." He says barely over a whisper, but hurt evident in his voice. 'We _did_ tell each other everything."

"We wanted to make sure-"

"He _knows_ I wouldn't care about that..! He _knows_ me!" _Or suppose to know_ was left unsaid. We went silent for a few more minutes. I had no idea what to say. My brothers and I weren't that close. We didn't even grow up together. Both were basically adults by the time I came into the picture.

"When I was in my senior year of high school, my mom died." Hiro's eyes turned to me but I traded the pity in his eyes for the action figures on top his desk little ways away from where we sat. "I left to go deal with family issues for a year and it caused me to graduate late. She left a lot of people behind. My brothers helped me get to my feet for a year after I went into complete dissociation. I hadn't stayed in contact with anyone in high school for three years. I hadn't said anything to Fred for years until one day I saw a movie poster for Electro-beam and decided to email him for the first time in forever. He texted me back the next day, and we met up a few hours later.

"He didn't hold any grudge against me about what happened. No one heard a word from me and apparently I just disappeared, which makes sense now. I didn't talk to anyone but my brothers and _that_ only lasted a year, and after that I just kind of..drifted. I can't even remember what I did during those two years, I just...I didn't feel like I existed." My throat tightened but I willed myself to go on. "No, wait, I started working on my project. Fredrick. Which is how I got into SFIT in the first place." I smile and look down at him. His eyes aren't filled with pity like I expected, but awe, and still a bit hurt, but it's clouded by newfound interest, possibly inspiration. But that could just be wishful thinking.

I continue. "What I'm saying is, I understand cherishing your family. They're the most important set of people in your life, even if they aren't by blood. But over these two years, I've started to see Tadashi as my family too." I stare deeply into his eyes as I say this next part, slow and barely above a whisper. "I love Tadashi, and I'm not going to take him away from you, Hiro, but I wish we both could come to understand that we both care for him and want the best for him. And Hiro, I _really do_ think I'm the best for him."

There's a few moments of silence that stretches out for way too long in my head with us just staring at each other, but then Hiro's the first to break.

"I think I see it now…"

 **.**

 _Demisexual._ Hiro typed into his computer and pressed enter.

"There," I pointed at the link. "Press urban dictionary." He clicked.

"How do you not know how your own self feels?"

"Shut up, ok, it's hard to explain." I said.

Hiro read aloud, "' _Someone who only feels sexual attraction when emotionally attached to the other person.'_ Doesn't sound that difficult."

"You're a a-" I stop myself. "You're a jerk, you know that?"

Hiro chuckled. It was nice to hear after all that crying earlier. I'm still kinda worried that all my charms are making him fall in love with me, since I'm oh so delectable. Tadashi seemed to completely misinterpret whatever happened today in the last timeline, but now he'll never know. Unless, of course, one of us says something. "It's a part of the asexual spectrum...what's that?"

"You don't- nevermind. It's when you don't feel any sexual attraction. Like, you can look at a person and be like I wanna date that instead of how normies are like I wanna F that? Ya get me?"

"There's a _word_ for that!" He turned around to look at me with shock and exasperation on his face, like he's seriously disgruntled over the fact that he'd never heard it.

I nodded, eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah, you think you are?"

Hiro looked like he was gonna flip the table. He turned around and looked back at the computer screen. "Are you kidding me?" He started typing frantically on the keyboard, searching up the word asexuality.

I'm currently leaned over his rolling chair, peering over his shoulder with my hand on the back of the seat. He wanted to know about demisexuality and when I couldn't give him a direct answer on my own we just decided to go straight to the interwebs.

" _Isn't that how most people feel_?"

 _I rolled my eyes so hard I saw Jesus._

"Ok, no, no. Those pictures are inaccurate. Asexuality and aromantic are two different things." I stop as we look through Goggle images.

"Aro-?" He doesn't even wait for me to explain. Just types it into the search button. He looks both confused and like he's about to flip the desk again. "Wait..wait wait wait, what?" He keeps scrolling through different links, reading at the speed of light and muttering "what" over and over.

"You good, bro?"

"Unbelievable." He leans back against the chair and accidentally into my chest, also trapping my fingers before I back off to give him space. "I mean, this has opened up my eyes to a _lot_ of things."

"Wait till you see the rest." I nod. He whips around to look at me with that same incredulous look.

"There's _more?"_

 **.**

"You know, Tadashi told me that he didn't think you'd last this long."

"Oh, did he now?" I frown, petting Hiro's hair again. Once we finished talking about sexualities and got to panromantic I told him about the gender identities and then we started talking about gender and doing research because honestly even _I'm_ confused about the difference between polygender, trigender, and genderfluid. In the end we still didn't really figure it out and somehow ended up with me sitting with my legs flat on the bed and Hiro's head on my lap, body horizontal from mine and legs off the side of the bed.

"Yeah, said something like, 'I didn't think we'd last this long, even now I can't, I like him and I want you to like him too blah blah blah' all the gross stuff." He waved his hand flippantly and smirked.

I laughed. Sounds like him. "Incredible."

"Right? Anyway, 'said you're perfect for him and something about respect and thoughtfulness being hard to get or whatever." I love him. I love him _so_ much. I'm gonna marry him. "I'm not too sure whether he was talking about you though, regarding that part." His smirk widened when I didn't get the joke.

"Oh, _Oh,_ haha, yeah. Hilarious." I would've called him an asshole if we were close enough friends but it'll have to wait til he's a little older. I smiled down at him.

The door took that chance to slam open and footsteps walked up into the room. Tadashi appeared from the wall blocking our vision of the door.

"That's where you are!" He paused. "Hey…" My baby noticed the position we were in and looks equal parts confused and worried, with a hint of rising jubilancy. "What's going on?"

We looked at Tadashi, then each other, then Tadashi again.

"Just hanging out."

"Just chillin." Hiro shrugged. I pulled my hand from his hair. "Actually, no, he was violating me. You saw that?" He points to my hand. "Tadashi, you better get him." He sits up as I laugh.

"Your brother was bullying me. I came here just trying to get to know my future husband's baby brother and he _bullied me_." I rise from the bed and walk over to the man, who's grinning, still a bit confused but more joyful than anything. "I'm gonna need therapy." I pull him into a hug.

"Haha, oh really now?"

"Mhm." I hum into his neck, relaxing into his embrace and putting my full weight on him. He leans back, trying to hold my weight and laughing so preciously into my ear all the while. My knees almost touch the floor before he lifts me back up onto my feet. I get one look at his face, his amazing smile as he laughs, and pull him into a deep kiss. He chuckles against my lips before relaxing and kissing back. I open one eye to see Hiro is gone and then pull him closer, hand on the nape of his neck and another on the small of his back. It feels _so good_ to have him back.

 **.**

"Oh please, the book will take ages. We're watching the movies." _Which will also take ages,_ I think.

"You don't actually plan on us watching the whole series in one night, do you?" Honey asks. I give her the thousand yard stare. "Ok then."

She's sitting next to me in pretty pink and yellow pajamas, the yellow coming from the llama print. We are currently in my living room with Netflicker on the first Henrik Vase movie. We're sitting against the couch with blankets covering the ground and bowls of popcorn and various other junk foods as snacks. Except Honey brought those little cold carrots in a pack and some salad and I just told her to do her while I do me. All the lights are off aside from the tv screen and the lights coming in the windows from outside. It's already dark out despite it only being seven o'clock. We are in it for the long hall.

Last time around, I hadn't felt too in the mood to binge all night with the girl I spent less time with than anyone else in the group. We never did end up watching Henrik Vase until now. I was too busy disassociating to remember something like this and Honey was off doing who knows what with the group probably.

I start the movie and watch for fifteen minutes before drifting off into my thoughts. I'm not that big of a Henrik Vase fan despite having watched all the movies. I never read the books and didn't care for any of the characters aside from Goppy, the hobbit thing. I had a natural hatred towards Snabe and a minor crush on Henrik when I was younger but that was, like, two hundred years ago.

Honestly, I'm not too fond of Honey either. She's a pretty cool, ecstatic girl, but I've had a sneaking suspicion for a while that she has or had a crush on Tadashi at some point. It wasn't based on too many facts and, really, I have nothing against her, but we've never actually spent time alone together. Unlike me and Fred, or even Gogo. I hadn't spent any alone time with Wasabi either, but we often traded comments when the others were in their own conversations. Me and Honey...had this, I guess. A Henrik Vase sixteen hour binge in our pajamas, hands rummaging through snacks in large plastic bowls and half falling asleep halfway through the night and waking up dead tired in the morning, curled up like burritos, me on the floor on some left over blankets and her on the sofa behind me. Netflicker asked if we were still watching and we groaned.

 **.**

I worked on Fredrick all day today and planned out what I'm going to do. This time around in the last timeline I had went to class all day and gotten the ring, which I still have in my pocket from that time. I also caught up on some sleep that time but today, or this timeline today, I spend all day getting Fredrick ready...just in case. It's a horrible way to think, I know, but I can't help thinking about a future where Tadashi...Tadashi _dying_ is a constant _._ It took me months to get Fredrick to work properly, but now I know the formula and what actually works so it would only take probably about, and I did the math, seventeen hours with trials and errors.

Other than that, hanging out with Tadashi was _sweet_. A haven in and of itself. We went on the date again the next day, albeit with many different conversations now. We didn't talk about Hiro, other than us two getting along, and we still tried on outfits, but this time I didn't mention my brothers or children. It came up on its own when he mentioned Hiro and me getting along. Fortunately, he didn't make that Pancora joke again.

"How do I look?" He asks, gesturing to the branded monkey shirt and large coat that he had worn before, in the different reality.

"Incredible." I pull him close to me by the large coat and press my lips to his deeply. He moans against my mouth and kisses back. God, I can _never_ get enough of this. But he pulls away, hands cupping my cheeks and looks into my eyes, joyful but puzzled.

"You know, you've been really affectionate lately." He says.

I gaze dazedly into his eyes. They're as warm and captivating as a chocolate brownie. The color of the richest soil. "Yeah?" My voice is almost a whisper.

"Yeah," He knits his eyebrows together. "It's not bad, it's just...different. Are you ok?"

I lean in and rest my head on his shoulder, breathe him in. "I'm perfect…" His hands move to my shoulders but he doesn't push me away. "Like this." I quickly add. "With you." I pull up to look into his eyes again, but now he looks genuinely worried.

It's actually quite sad, now that I think about it. Had I not been this cuddly before? I mean, I understand that I _have_ been holding him more- kissing him whenever I get a chance, keeping my fingers intertwined in his, hugging him close. But those were normal couple things, right?

Was he so used to us just acting like friends? Was I not cherishing him enough in the last reality? Or am I really just being obsessive?

"You don't like this?" I start to back off. _Don't push me away, I need you_. "Cause if you don't, I'll stop." _I'll do whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy._

"No, it's not that. It's just," He smiled with eyebrows furrowed up. "Pda wasn't really our thing, was it?"

 _Are you embarrassed of me?_ "Why couldn't it be?" _I don't wanna make you uncomfortable._ "And we had a thing?"

"Yeah," he grinned. "I'm the cute boy next door and you're the charming exchange student from Scandinavia."

A grin split across my face. "You're incredible, you know that?"

"I've been told. Now how about those pictures?"

.

We sat down in the food court and after a while I noticed Tadashi glancing behind him. There were these two girls and a boy staring at us, blushing and giggling. The same guys from last time, this time? The other timeline. I gave them a little smile and waved, same as Tadashi, who didn't notice me, and watched them blush more and walk away.

Tadashi turned to me. "Looks like you got some fans."

"You think I'm pretty?" I raise a brow.

"No, actually. Not at all. I have nightmares every day because of you."

I laugh. "Asshole."

"You asked." He shrugs, grinning. "But no, they were totally looking at you."

"Then they're missing out on quite the view." I say pointedly and take a bite out of a couple fries.

"Oh please," he waves a hand flippantly. "You're hot."

"Tadashi, I'm not a mirror, and you should probably learn to stop talking to yourself in the middle of a conversation." I smirk as he laughs.

" _See_? That! That right there! You're unbelievably charming."

"Only when I'm with you."

"Ok, now you're getting cheesy." He grins even more, and it's so bright and warm, spreads across most of his face and it's pointed at _me_ , and only me, and how did I get someone so utterly _perfect?_

"You have _no idea_ just how incredible you are, do you…?" I can't help but speak low, like anyone else could be listening in. Who cares? Let them hear.

He raises an eyebrow but it genuinely confuses me. I say, I ramble, I _preach_ these next words, "You're laugh makes me feel like the most accomplished guy in the world. And your smile, it makes my whole day. It makes all the hard work and sleepless nights worth it, knowing I'll see you the next day and you'll congratulate me and tell me to keep working hard and that you're proud of me and not giving up on me...it means the world to me." I meet his wide eyes and hold onto his hands from across the round table, greasy with salt as they may be. "And Tadashi, I know you're not perfect, but you're pretty damn close to it, if not all, to me."

He's silent for a few moments, taking it all in. He looks genuinely shocked, lips parted and eyes round and staring deeply into mine. Then, a wave of pleasure rises from my stomach as he blushes, looks away, and pulls his hands from mine.

"Wow," he says, giggling awkwardly. His eyebrows furrow up and his gaze is on the ground. "I mean..wow. I don't," he struggles. "I don't know what to say to that." He looks at me again, face softening. "Thank you…"

I give him a lazy smirk. "Charming enough?"

He laughs, head tilting back. "I'm swooning."

My smirk softens into a smile, and I lay my arm on the back of my chair. "Will you stay the night over?"

 **.**

We spend the most of the night binging Reality Shifts, a cartoon about triplets who stay with their grandpas and solve mysteries in their city. Tadashi didn't care for it that much. It's not that he didn't like it, but that it wasn't anything he got excited for. But for me, I love this show. I stopped watching it after...the showcase, though. I hadn't felt interested in anything for a long time after it, so I never caught up.

"Grampa Dan is being mighty suspicious."

"Is he? I mean, isn't he always like this?"

"No, no, he's never been interested in strange stuff before. But as soon as the kids mentioned Will, he got quiet."

"Hmm…"

"There's lies in my chicken sandwich."

"What…?"

Then after that we talked about our projects. I sat with my back against the headboard with Tadashi beside me, on his stomach, facing the blank tv. We had both showered but it seemed too early to go to sleep. The house was empty, as always, so it was just the two of us. My room was eerily quiet aside from us conversing. He hadn't brought any clothes with him since this had only meant to be a date so he was now comfortably lounging in some of my sweatpants and his own t-shirt that he's left here before. It was oddly cloying. There was something about it that was strangely domestic. I had to stop myself from following every thought that I deemed too affectionate.

"You got the parts already?"

"Yeah, I got them the day I stayed over."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tadashi turned over on his side to look at me. "I thought you went to an interview."

Fuck. "I did both." I hate lying, but it wasn't technically lying, was it?

"Oh." His face scrunched up for a second before nodding and turning back onto his stomach.

"Yeah, Fredrick's going really well. Made a lot of progress on it."

"What?" He turned around again and decided to stay on his back. "You never told me this! That's great!" He grinned, genuinely happy, but also looked a bit confused as to why he's hearing it now. "I'm proud of you!"

"Yeah, well, I wasn't going to say anything till it was finished." I hated having to hide things from him, from anyone really. This was just too important.

"I see.."

"Yeah, but enough about me. How's Baymax? Isn't he finished?"

"Well," he looked away, thinking. "Yeah? I just need to add more programs on medical procedures. Keep him updated, you know?"

"That's a thing they have in common. Both need constant updating."

"History is always changing and advances in medicine are always being made." He said, linking his fingers together and keeping his torso alift using his elbows, body twisted at the waist.

"Mhm, Fredrick and Baymax would be best friends."

"Or brothers?"

I grin and laugh through my teeth. "Yeah, that'll work too."

Silence envelops us again. It's long but not uncomfortable, and it brings forth something that's been running through the back of my mind for the last couple days. "Tadashi?"

"Yeah?"

"Hiro told me something the other day that's been bothering me…"

He turns to me, on his stomach again. His neck must be aching, twisted like that. "What..?"

"Did you really doubt that we'd make it this long?" I meet his gaze and see him relax, shoulders dropping, but he looked a bit annoyed as well.

He sighed. "A long time ago, yeah. But we've been together two years and those kinds of thoughts didn't stick long."

"But why?"

"Cause you were my first relationship? _Are_ my first."

"Hoping to be your last." A grin splits across both of our faces.

"Yeah...and, I hadn't been.." He thought for a second. "Let's just say I wasn't used to having friends…" His grin turned into a bitter smile. "I was always buried in my work and pursuit in medicine and Baymax. I didn't know how you'd take that." He gave me a look when he saw my expression. A match of a quirk of my lip and furrowed eyebrows. It was hard to imagine me being mad about that. "You have to admit, it was more likely that I was married to Baymax than in a relationship. I barely left my lab." I nodded. True. "But, fortunately, you were just as busy as I was and you didn't mind at all my time involved with my work. And I appreciate you for it." He reached for my hand and I reached back. It was comfortingly warm, as usual. "But it had just been a few months and I completely forgot that Hiro _didn't_ know, and we barely had time for _each other_ , so how was I gonna introduce you to my brother?"

He sighed. "And then," he waved his free hand. "This. He likes you. Baymax is operational. Fredrick is _almost_ operational. And I'm in a nice, steady relationship." He squeezes my hand and I squeeze back. "Everything's absolutely amazing."

 _Everything's amazing_. Those words echo.

The fire crosses my mind. Cass crying while wearing all black. And Hiro, not at the reception. Sleepless nights in the lab, waking up without realizing I had gone to sleep, drowning in coffee like it was air and I wasn't breathing. Fred wondering where I am. Brothers calling after months of not hearing from them.

"Tyrone?" Tadashi called my name and I suddenly realized I wasn't smiling anymore. I look over to him and he's up on his knees, staring right at me with a concerned expression, closer than before.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine…" No...no no no...

He wasn't convinced, and neither was I. But he didn't push. Instead, he sat beside me, back against the wall, and wraps his arms around mine while setting his head on my shoulder.

My arm is pressed against his side and it's so very comforting. We sit in silence and just breathe in. He's waiting for me to relax, cause he knows about my disassociation and how sometimes I get a sudden urge to be alone even when I don't want to be. He's patient, and it's one of the reasons I love him so much.

He presses a kiss to my cheek. It's meant as a token of benevolence and comfort but all I feel is captivation.

I want him. I want him so much.

So I kiss his neck. He doesn't move so I kiss it again, and again, and his head tilts back so I can kiss him more. I suck right under his jaw, where it meets his ear. I move my hand to his side and he places his own on top of mine. He pulls me up to his lips, cupping my cheeks and letting me mold his lips with mine, tongue sweeping over his bottom lip. He opens his mouth and all of a sudden he's on his back with me on top of him, gripping my hair and pulling me in. He doesn't pull away, never does. I do though. Just to ask, ask if he's ok, with me-with this. He nods, once, twice, then a verbal and harsh, earnest yes.

So I don't stop, not when our clothes are shed or when he's pulling us together or when I push into him and he cries out or when he arches against me and pulls me in deeper. Not when he scratches my back with blunt nails or when sweat dribbles down his temple and I kiss it away and then kiss him. Softly. With his arms around my shoulders. And not when he buries his head into the space between my shoulder and neck and tells me he loves me.

 **.**

Tadashi falls asleep on the way back to the Lucky Cat Café. He's wearing my green hoodie and his matching cap that I bought when we went ziplining one time. We have classes today but he said he wanted to see Hiro and Cass for a bit and get some of her delicious pancakes. The drive is easy and there is luckily no traffic on the way there. It takes thirty minutes but it's a nice and serene morning, cloudy and definitely gonna sprinkle a little bit, but comfy.

We eat for thirty minutes, Hiro and Tadashi talking and me helping Mama Cass for about twenty of it-

 _Hiro gives Tadashi a weird look. "Is that Tyrone's hoodie?"_

 _Tadashi grinned sheepishly. "Yeah.."_

 _Hiro glares at him and looks pointedly to his cap. "And since when did you go to Sky-Lines?"_

 _His grin got even more awkward and he scratched the back of his neck, looking away. "Mn took me on our first anniversary?" He offered._

 _Hiro growled. Yeah, totes got a crush on me._

-Then we leave.

I spend the whole of the day either coddling Tadashi or working on Fredrick. It comes along well and I finish it pretty much on time, the day just before the showcase.

That's how most of the week goes by until the day actually arrives.

Today.

There seems to be a lot of steam going around this morning. Everyone's excited and congratulating Hiro and giving him good vibes while both him and me are nervous. Hiro for more obvious reasons than my own more important one. No one truly knows what today is but me. I keep Tadashi close, then even closer when we get to SFIT.

We roll Hiro's dumpster cans filled with microbots through the showcase hall. It's bustling with people and new inventions, which I would usually be hyped up to see if today weren't...today. I haven't been in the exhibit hall in years. This would be my third time in here, my first being the day I had my showcase. The whole place has a relaxing aura, the ceiling laced with turquoise and purple lights, with yellow carpet on concrete floor. Stall walls of multiple colors litter the room filled with people's projects and large screens hover the room giving information about them. It's just like when I was here.

But the astounding colors and bright lights only led to remind me of fire, and I couldn't relax at all. Tadashi must've noticed me, because he put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a concerned look.

"You ok?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I said a little too quickly. A knot was in my stomach and something thick was crawling up my throat, not to mention the fact that it was so hot in here that I was sweating bullets. My feet were swaying under me. Fortunately, he didn't say anymore about it.

"I haven't done laundry in six months," Fred said, sitting up on the side of the stage. "One pair lasts me four days." As he went on the twist in my stomach only presented itself more.

Wasabi gagged.

"My guy…" I trail, concerned.

"Wow, that is both disgusting and awesome," Tadashi said.

"Don't encourage him." Gogo said and I nodded slowly, agreeing with her but still feeling too sick. Did I catch the flu or something?

"It's called 'recycling'." Fred defended.

"No, hun, it's not." I say, before Hiro is called on stage.

While Tadashi gives Hiro a short pep talk, I look at my phone. It's getting close to time, but I don't really want to disappear just yet.

Hiro goes up and he starts off nervous, but after a solid thirty seconds, he gets really into it. All the while I stare at the clicking clock. When he finishes the building part, I elbow Tadashi, who's focused solely on his brother so much that he barely notices me saying I gotta go. He nods absent-mindedly, then his face screws up and he turns to me as I back away.

"Where are you going?" He asks quickly.

I wave my hand flippantly. "I'll be right back." As soon as I said it I felt dread ripple up from my stomach and cloud my throat. I gave him one last smile, that probably looked too pained to be real, and made my way through the crowd. As soon as I got out I took a deep breath, feeling my stomach heave. Gladly, nothing came up but the burn in my eyes, which were accompanied soon by tears that I forced myself to swallow back down. I checked my phone, it'll take five minutes to get to the robotics labs from here, and took off in a sprint.

"I'll be right back" is definitely not going to be the last thing I say to Tadashi.

 **.**

"Welcome to nerd school. Nerd." Tadashi smiled at Hiro. He had made it in, finally. After months of working day and night, Hiro had finally got into SFIT. The presentation was a success and now Hiro and Tadashi were having a calm quiet moment before going to the Lucky Cat Cafe and eating to their heart's content.

Hiro breathed out a laugh and shook his head. "Hey, um..I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you so.." He paused, hesitating to meet Tadashi's eyes. "you know…" he looked at him. "Thanks for not giving up on me."

Tadashi and his ever present smile gave him a slight nod. Suddenly an alarm blared and the smile dropped off his face. Both he and Hiro ran towards the exhibit hall, stopping once they saw the blazing inferno.

The exhibit hall was on fire. People were running out of the building, coughing and helping each other run.

After a brief pause, Tadashi ran forward, stopping a woman and asking if she was ok.

"Yeah! I'm ok, but- but professor Callaghan is still in there!"

That's all it took for Tadashi to run forward. Hiro grabbed his arm. "Tadashi, no!" He gave him a pleading look, knowing that he wouldn't make it out if he went in. Tadashi must've known that too.

Tadashi pants, looking at him wide eyed before turning back to look at the building. Orange fog clouded the windows and was too impenetrable for him to see inside. He turned back to Hiro. "Callaghan's in there. Someone has to help." Then he ran up the steps, cap falling off in the process.

Hiro looks around, grabs the cap, and knows what he has to do.

Time began to slow around him. His heartbeat was loud and the sound pounded in his ear. Then the beat got clearer and louder and he realized that it wasn't his heart making that sound. It was footsteps. Someone was running behind him, and he couldn't move fast enough to see who it was until they passed him. Straight and short light brown hair, almost red if you squint, flowing as he sprinted passed him, up the stairs. Grey eyes wide and round as long legs climbed two steps at a time up and into the two glass doors.

 **.**

I pant as I run through the door, stopping to look around. The explosion had already started and fire was slowly but surely coming towards me. It reminded me of that S-Man movie, with Fastgrey. But even with time slowed down, I didn't have enough of it to think about that. My eyes quickly landed on a figure, already half enveloped in the fire, arm stretched out in front of him. My heart stopped. I could recognize that cardigan from anywhere. I was late.

I cursed and ran at him. The closer I got the more I could see of him. His mouth was wide open in a scream and his thick eyebrows were furrowed up. A side of his face was already seething as I reached around his waist and pulled him back, burning my arm in the process. It didn't hurt as much as it would have but the explosion was still coming towards us, and speeding up. In my other hand was a fire blanket, and I managed to cover us before time went back to normal and the explosion went off. I hear glass shatter before I black out.

 **.**

I wake up to a white room and a piercing consistent beeping noise. My eyelids want to stay closed every time I blink and my body hurts all over. It's like my back has been stabbed multiple times as well as beaten with a hammer. I can't move too much or a sharp pain ripples through my ribs. I blink and there's noise.

Wide green eyes and furrowed dark eyebrows flood my vision. Red lips are mouthing something over a round face and hands grip the railing to my side. It's Honey.

Fred comes up next to my other side and Gogo is next to my feet. I blink, and a woman dressed in a white lab coat, a doctor, is pushing them back and out of the way. They don't go willingly, Fred is the most rampant and Gogo is adamant in staying but I blink and darkness consumes me, but then I open them again and my friends are being dragged out while the doctor puts a mask over my face.

I blink, then wake up.

 **.**

I woke up two days later and Gogo, Honey, and Fred are there to greet me. They hug me and I hug them back as best as I can while in pain. They told me that I was in a coma for three days after the explosion. Apparently when the exhibit hall blew up I was blown back into the window by the blast and tumbled down the stairs. I had glass in my back and it must've dug deeper as I hit the stairs, which explains the pain in my back. I also had a pretty major concussion that had me passed out. Hiro found me beside him when he had gotten up from the blast. He wasn't hurt, fortunately.

They were able to get the glass out, but they couldn't wake me up. I wasn't dead but nothing they did could get me out of my stupor. They called my brothers and they had been in the waiting room this whole time, as well as all my friends.

When I asked about Wasabi, he said he was with Hiro and it made me sit up straight, despite the nauseating pain. I asked about Tadashi but they didn't want to tell me anything. I went rampant and dashed off the bed to the door before they caught me and forced me back down. I was too weak to fight them, and even under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have been able to get passed Gogo. Honey later told me that Tadashi was fine and that he was recovering. I had apparently taken the most internal damage from the explosion and cushioned his fall, but he was closest to the fire and that...she didn't tell me the rest. She said that he is resting and Hiro and Wasabi are right beside him with Cass. He's woken up a couple times but is still very weak.

After that my brothers, Chase and Kachi, came in and sat with me. We caught up on each other's lives and talked about the bigger part of our family, and Kachi cried cause he's a doofus and me and Chase comforted him. I ended up crying too, cause I hadn't seen them since I got accepted into SFIT two years ago and also because I fucking _saved Tadashi_.

They told me the news on my injuries and when I could leave the hospital instead of the doctor. They all made me uncomfortable. I hate hospitals. Everyone I know knows I hate them. They always remind me of...other times. Apparently I was going to be here for five to seven more days. I had cuts and stitches in my back that would leave scars for a long time, and burns on my hands and arms that will heal after a couple years but always be slightly discolored. I was surprised yet proud to hear that most of these wounds had been treated before they had arrived. Baymax, apparently, had bandaged and wiped them off before the ambulance got there. Hiro had gotten someone to get him. Hearing that made my heart swell cause, really, we had come so far.

I was hit with random headaches throughout the day and I couldn't sleep at night very well so they put me on this medicine. I got headaches whenever someone was talking too loud and then they started talking so low that I couldn't hear them, which was annoying. I had to practice walking upright without messing up my back and I used that time to go visit Tadashi's room, which wasn't too far away. My heart stopped, but Tadashi's was beating so I was able to calm down quickly enough with some mental thinking. He was breathing, that's all that matters. I walked in the door and peered at him. His head and neck were wrapped in bandages and there was gauze on his right cheek. All his hair was gone except for his eyebrows.

He had external injuries rather than internal, but he was alive. Tadashi is _alive._

Hiro turned and as soon as he saw me he ran up and hugged me. It scared me when he started crying cause I thought something was wrong with Tadashi but it didn't take me long to realize that no, he's crying over me. Over the situation as a whole. We could've died and Hiro wouldn't have gone to the funeral and he wouldn't leave his room for weeks. Mama Cass joined him a second later, holding me gently, and it was warm and soft, like a mother's embrace. That's when I finally let the tears go and I cried into their shoulders. I could've lost a _hand_ , even worse, if I hadn't had been blasted at just the right angle, my spinal cord would have been injured and I'd be wheelchair-bound. Goodbye Fredrick, Goodbye robotics.

I'd sit with Tadashi as much as I could when I went walking. It didn't take me long to achieve balance and my back stopped hurting as bad after a couple days. He woke up a couple times but it was never for long and he didn't really talk, he just looked around all dazed like he couldn't see and then fell back asleep. They'd wake him to eat and replace bandages but that's it. He needed his sleep to heal.

On the day I was allowed to leave- friggin _finally-_ they asked me if I wanted to see a therapist. I said no. It bothered me too much for that. Too much pressure and social anxiety. I left gladly, and made my way home. I visited Tadashi everyday until he was released. I was there when he woke up, like, actually woke up, and talked and cried and embraced all of us as much as he could. First was Hiro and Cass, then me. and then the rest of the crew was alerted and piled into the room, giving hugs all around and crying and being grateful and joyous.

His voice was rough, like poison and muck, when he talked. The doctors said it would get better with time, he'd just hadn't spoken in a week. He'd been out of it for more than a week.

While Tadashi was getting better and I wasn't at the hospital, I spent my time with my bro's, who were staying with me at my house for a couple weeks to make sure I was alright. I told them to leave, especially Chase since he had a child, but neither of them paid me any mind.

.

 _Ja jos jäin En voinut auttaa, mutta olla hereillä Sillä se ei ole sinä Se on vain unelma, se on vain väärennös_

 **.**

Tadashi was in the hospital two weeks before they let him go. I was secretly glad because honestly, the hospital filled me with so much anxiety it left me shaking by the time I left after visiting hours. I didn't see him for a week after that because he was spending his time recuperating and with Hiro and Cass. He went back to school after that and got right back to work. Typical. My brothers left after a month of hanging out and by then my back was fully healed and my headaches stopped. Thank God for modern technology!

It's been two and a half months since the fire. Life is somewhat back to normal. We've been going to our classes and working in our classes. Hiro's at school with us now so we hang out more. The crew still goes out and we have fun but it would be a lie to say that nothing's changed and that we are completely unbothered. Just yesterday Tadashi and I were watching some random action movie at my house when a house exploded in the movie and my living room went dark. Tadashi was trembling and I couldn't peel my thumb apart from the off button. That was just one instance. He wouldn't admit it but Tadashi was obviously uncomfortable walking outside in public places. One day we had gone to the mall with the group and he was glancing around like we were being followed. He pulled his cap down over his forehead more, trying to hide the burns even just a little bit but it didn't reach his cheek. He lifted his hood over his neck but it didn't stop his paranoia. I squeezed his hand as a sign of comfort but he just smiled weakly at me and turned his gaze to the ground.

I asked him about it later that day, while we were cuddling on his bed. He sat with his back to my chest and my legs pulled up beside his hips. My arms were wrapped around his abdomen and his hands cupped mine. He wouldn't take off his cap.

"It feels like everyone's looking at me. I mean, they _are_. And I understand why, but…" He sighed. "I don't know." He scratched at his healing cheek.

I smacked his hand down. "Don't pick at it..!" I chastised.

He reached his hand up and ran his fingers through my hair. "I don't want to sound ungrateful. It's just something I'll have to get used to, I guess."

I sighed in relaxation as his fingers carted through my hair and leaned my forehead against the back of his head. I lifted my head to kiss him but the cap was in the way, so I did what any charitable boyfriend would do and snatched it off his head and threw it across the room. He yelped a "Hey!" but I was too busy kissing him. His complaining quickly turned into a laugh as I pecked all over the burns on his neck and on his cheek. I planted a long sloppy kiss on his scorched cheek and he stopped struggling, grinning and laughing like I haven't seen in months.

"Ok, okay!" He giggled. I'd never thought I'd see the day that Tadashi Hamada giggled unironically. Today was a day of momentous occasion. In his struggle to get away, he ended up on his side on my now outstretched leg. "Wow!"

"You're beautiful no matter what," I kissed his Adams Apple and he leaned his head back to let me. "Don't ever let anyone tell you any different."

"And if I do I got you to beat them up, yeah?" He punched my shoulder jokingly.

I gave him my most serious look. "All of us will jump them." We paused, then burst out laughing.

"I love you."

"I love you too. You're incredible." I say, gazing into his eyes.

He smiles. "You're unbelievable."

I pause, then say, "hymysi loistaa kirkkaammalta kuin aurinko."

His eyebrows furrow, the only hairs on his head. "Is that Finnish?"

I nod and lay my head in between his neck and shoulder. He places one hand on my nape and the other on the back of my shoulder.

"What does it mean?"

"Look it up."

"You expect me to spell that?" He asked incredulously. "I can't even remember what you just said!" He laughed and patted my shoulder, then mumbled. "Say something else."

"Haluan mennä naimisiin kanssasi."

"What does that mean?"

"I love you." And I'm gonna fix this.

 **.**

On my way out I see Hiro about to walk into the cafe. He sees me and stops.

"Hey, you're leaving?" He asked casually, glancing over me with a screwed up face before meeting my eyes again.

I look down in the direction he had. "Yeah, I'm gonna.." It was my hand, it didn't hurt but it was awfully discolored. It looked like I had vitiligo. My left hand and arm was patched pink all the way to my shoulder. "Uh..work on Fredrick."

"Your project? Tadashi told me it was finished."

"Uh, it is. Just not..completely. I'm not done with it yet."

"Adding stuff?"

"Some last minute touches."

"Good thing you got those parts during the showcase."

I freeze. "What?"

"You know? The ones that you said weren't being sent to you?"

My heart starts pounding in my chest. "That..that wasn't on Friday. I was at the showcase, remember?"

"Were you?" He pauses, looking confused. "Oh yeah..you were.." He taps his chin. "Hmm, wonder how I came up with that?"

 **.**

As I worked on turning on Fredrick, I thought of my plan. I decided not to think about what happened earlier and instead work on this. I'd set Fredrick to the day of the showcase, and I would get to the fire faster to save _all_ of Tadashi. I know it's risky, but it worked once, right? I mean, there's no guarantee a miracle will work twice, but this time I have a different approach. But at the same time-I stop to peer at my hand- I _really_ don't want to do it again. But it's for Tadashi. Yeah, he could get over it, but what if he doesn't? I hate to see him all mopey the way he is.

 _So that settles it,_ I think as I connect two plugs and the "wowowowow" sound starts again. A blue light shines over the room. _For Tadashi._

There's a ding. "Type in the year of necessity."

 _Minulla oli unelma, ja kun heräsin, olit lopulta sinne_


	8. There Are Lies In My Chicken Sandwich

there's so much flirting...and unrealistic character interactions im surry guis

* * *

84

Part 2: Lies in my Chicken Sandwich

" _I could totally rock a skirt." I defended, eyeing Fred pointedly as I cross my arms._

" _What did I walk in on?" I turned to Wasabi as he strolled in through the door. He stood between the door and the beanbag I'm stretched out on._

" _Yes, join us and our assortment of beanbags." I spread my arms wide, motioning to the other two bean bags that Honey and Fred are sitting on beside me, forming a parenthesis. Gogo was sitting backwards on a chair across from Fred, arms crossed over the back and popping her gum. Tadashi was in the middle of the two, sitting in his chair with his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles._

" _Gogo was just saying that us men here couldn't pull off a skirt." Fred explained with something of blame in his voice, glancing at the girl. "And I said that maybe Mn and Tadashi couldn't but I definitely can."_

" _To which I said 'No, my dearest friend, that is thou, for thee could most dauntlessly dawn thyself in such apparel.'" I placed the tips of my fingers over my heart and smiled charmingly at Fred._

" _Tadashi has yet to say anything." Honey mentioned casually._

" _I'm not in this." Tadashi raised his hands in mock surrender._

 _Wasabi moved to grab my wheelie chair and sat down in it. "So how did this come to fruition?"_

 _All of us, mostly Gogo, Fred, and me, filled Wasabi in on the conversation we had before he walked in._

" _I will go to Flaming Subjects right now, Gogo, I swear."_

" _Well what's stopping you, baby face?"_

 _I stood up, glaring playfully at the smirk on her face. "Alright, come on, let's go."_

 _A resonating pop and Gogo pulled herself out of her seat._

" _Wait, really?" Tadashi asked._

" _If you have class, you can stay here." I said as Gogo walks up and we both start for the door._

" _Oh no, I definitely am not gonna miss this!" Fred rushed up and followed after us, passing Honey. Wasabi and Tadashi were the last to fill out._

 _._

" _Here you go. Have fun!" Gogo handed me a frilly, pink, short skirt and pushed me toward the stall door; five minutes after we made it to the store after peer-pressuring Wasabi to drive us, Gogo finally found something incredibly feminine to hand me._

" _Wha-?" I didn't get the chance to complain before Gogo slammed the door in my face. The last thing I saw was her smirk. I looked at the skirt in my hand. Wasn't what_ I _would have chosen but it'll work. I looked down at my shirt- it's a raglan in red. I was tempted to throw the skirt over the clothing stall door and yell, "Get it in red!" but maybe that would be too petty. I listened to the conversation outside my door, mostly Fred talking about some new Atlantic Edge movie._

 _I shuffled the skirt over my blue skinny jeans, fitting it around my hips and pulling my shirt down over the waistline. I looked into the full body mirror beside me and gave myself a quick once over. I didn't look too much different. But_ wow _, were my pants really that tight? They look like leggings!_

 _As soon as I walked out the team was staring at me. Wasabi had a long black gothic skirt that would probably reach my ankles, and Tadashi was holding a bunch of skirts that Honey must've been piling on, because she was right in the middle of setting one down over his arm until she stopped to look at me._

" _So? Am I cute?" I asked, putting my hands behind my back and smiling shyly, my foot placed behind the other and my head tilted innocently._

" _Eh, you look normal." Wasabi shrugged_

 _I shrugged back, looking down at it then moving my hips slightly._

" _It's frilly," Honey observed._

" _Ok, but I look good." I goaded, faking annoyance and pointing down at the skirt with both hands._

" _I mean, you always look good so it shouldn't be much of a surprise," I heard Tadashi say and can't help the grin forming on my face. Gogo and Fred groaned while Wasabi and Honey aww'd._

" _Oh my gosh, dude, that was great!" I congratulated and walked up to him to give him a high five. He accepted it with a proud smile._

" _Try these on," Honey handed the few skirts she has in her arm to me, and then grabbed Tadashi's load and set it down, then paused, and grabbed Wasabi's and laid it down neatly on the top. She gave me a innocent smile._

 _I looked at her incredulously before trudging to the stall again. I tried on several different outfits to go with the skirts, filling out orders to "find this and that" for the team to handle. We laughed, took pictures, Honey most specifically, and conversed freely, making fun of each other and shopping around._

" _You could really pull in the lads and ladies looking like that," Gogo smirked, eyeing me up and down, lingering on the blue jean circle skirt around my waist._

" _Um, no, I'm just fine with the one I got." I sent Tadashi a smirk and wiggly eyebrows to which he laughed and sent back kissy faces. I chuckled._

" _Whoa! Was that_ flirting?!" _Fred came out behind a rack of clothes, looking honestly surprised. I rose an eyebrow. "You_ never _act couple-ey in public."_

 _Me and Tadashi sent each other confused faces. "We don't?" I furrowed my eyebrows at Fred. "What do_ couple-ey _people act like?"_

" _Well for one, they're annoyingly adorable." Gogo popped her gum and crossed her arms, putting her weight on one leg and raising a eyebrow. "Which you are sorely lacking."_

 _I gasped dramatically. "You take that back! I'm adorable!"_

" _And they hold hands and at least peck each other on the cheek-" Fred counted on his fingers. "You two? You talk less to each other than Gogo compliments someone."_

 _Gogo shrugged nonchalantly._

" _Ok, well, that's just not true." Tadashi defended, stepping closer to the group to let someone step by the small isle, if you can call it that. The whole store is pretty crowded with racks of jewelry and t-shirts. We stood just outside the stall doors, taking up the small amount of space between them and the clothing racks._

" _Yeah, we text!" I said._

" _I bet you just send memes." Gogo said._

" _Hey! Memes are the epitome of flirting!" I assured. "Anyway, what do you want me to do? Sit in his lap?"_

" _Give me your phone," Gogo pulled out her hand._

" _Heh?"_

" _I wanna see your texts. I know you're not sending nudes."_

 _Tadashi snorted out a laugh._

" _Um, excuse me?" I pulled out my phone and faked being appalled. "I am a Christian woman and frankly am disgusted by the very idea." I handed it to her as she snorts and starts to tap on it._

" _Wow, You're really open." Wasabi said, holding Honey's skirts that she picked out for me. Damn, how many skirts did this place_ have?

" _I got nothing to hide." I shrugged._

" _Wow, do you even exist?" Fred asked incredulously._

" _Reality is an illusion." I paused, thinking up the next line. "The universe is a hologram." Then quickly add. "Buy silver."_

" _Oh, haha, that's a Reality Shifts reference, isn't it?" Fred noticed. "I think I saw a hoodie around here somewhere for it."_

 _My eyes widen. "What?" I gasped, about to go find it for myself. The show just finished it's first season and I was_ _ **hooked**_ _on it. Fred pointed out where it might be and I was going to go on a fucking manhunt._

 _That is, until Gogo interrupted. "Why do you have an entire photo album dedicated to Jesus memes?"_

" _Why don't you?"_

 _We spent the rest of that day trying on skirts, buying merch, and talking about shows from said merch- mostly Fred- until we decided it was time to go home. Wasabi, oh so perfect, beautiful, angelic Wasabi, dropped us all off individually at our houses. I gazed, curious, as Tadashi walked into the Lucky Cat Cafe. It was the first time I'd seen his house, even though we'd been dating for a couple of months._

 **.  
**

 **Mandela effect**

 **.**

It was flaming hot around me. I wiped at the sheen of sweat on my forehead, blinking the sleep from my eyes as I stare up at the ceiling, dizzy. I look around and find Tadashi asleep with his arm over my torso, across my abdomen. I'm on my back, on his bed, again on the first day of the countdown.

Why am I here again? I can't think. It takes a few seconds for my thought process to pick back up, and then another for my memory to hit me. _Fuck, I forgot to reprogram the date._

I sigh. _Shit.. Guess I'll have to fix it later, when I'm more awake._

I turn to Tadashi, who's quietly snoring with his mouth slightly open. _Yeah, it can wait till later._ And I go back(if this counts as going back?) to sleep.

.

I try not to change anything from last time while I redo this week. I go get Fredrick's parts and get back, again, to the Wagon debate. After that I end up staying the whole night at SFIT rebuilding Fredrick. This time I have the formula down so I get a lot more done faster than last time. I'm half asleep on Gogo's birthday and I finish Fredrick the next day. I make sure to type in the right date, then connect the plugs and watch Fredrick turn on. It's already the fifth time but it always seems like the first. I walk through.

* * *

And again, I'm lying awake next to a snoring Tadashi, but this time his arm is around my shoulders and his hand is on my neck with his head practically on my chest. That settles it- Fredrick is broken. Or it didn't work right in the first place. Either way, this is gonna take a long time to fix. I sigh. _At least it's not desperately hot in here this time._

"Why are you still awake…?" I bring my attention to the sleeping face now next to my ear. Tadashi's head is on my shoulder now and he's still half asleep as he murmurs, "Go to sleep…"

I don't. I stay up and think. He said _still_ , meaning I woke up before now, meaning either what happened two timelines ago still happened and I woke up hours after it, or Tadashi is remembering things that _haven't yet happened in this timeline._ Which doesn't sound as crazy as it would have two timelines ago. It happened with Hiro, so maybe it's happened with Tadashi. What is this theory called? Murphy's law? No, no that's not the one. Butterfly effect? Getting closer but no…

I don't remember thinking myself into a sleep, but Tadashi wakes up right before sunrise and I wake with him. It's risky, but I want to try something. If anything goes "wrong" I can just reset the week, but then again he might remember it anyway. Either way, I really wanna test this, so I bite the bullet.

He's still half asleep when I ask, "Hey, live with me for a week."

He's silent for a minute, eyes closed but eyebrows furrowed, like he's trying to register what I just said. I count the seconds in my head. Then he nods tiredly. "Yeah, sure."

 **.**

Tadashi is quick to pack his stuff. He stuffs clothes into his duffel bag and puts his computer and magazines and some books into his large, black backpack. On our way to the car, I once again stop at the kitchen, but this time It's because Cass stops us.

"Whoa, where are you going?" Cass asked Tadashi, motioning to his bags.

Tadashi and me glance at each other before looking back at Cass. "I'm going to be living with Mn for awhile."

"What? Why?" She looks genuinely confused and concerned.

"Um…" We glance at each other again and Tadashi steps off the landing and places his hand on my shoulder. "Can you wait out by the door for a second?"

I nod and go down the stairs, stopping at the first floor landing and the door leading to the cafe.

They're whispering for a minute and I'm only able to catch bits and pieces of the conversation.

"He has an anxiety problem and…..sometimes he needs someone to be around...yes...yes, it'll only be a week….I promise….I love you too...yeah." And then he's walking back down the stairs to me, gives me a smile and says, "Come on."

"Go on, I want to talk to her myself." I reply. He nods and I hand him my keys. I watch him go through the door and sigh, turning around and walking back up the staircase. "Mama Cass?"

 **.**

"No way." She breathes in, eyes wide. I smile nervously.

"Yes way."

"No way!" And now she's squealing, jumping up and down on her tiny feet. She runs to me with her arms spread wide, excited. I hug her back as she jumps into my arms, screaming "No way!"

I laugh as she squeezes me tight then pulls back, screams again, and pulls me back into another hug.

"Ok, ok," She tries to calm herself down, arching her back to pull herself arm's length away to stare up at me, hands on my shoulders. "When is the wedding?"

"Uhhh. I don't know. I haven't asked yet." I grin sheepishly, still very nervous.

"You haven't asked him yet?" She exclaims loudly, unbelieving. I flinch. Should've expected that.

"No." I flatten my lips into a thin line as she looks at me, pondering me like Hiro did when I mentioned my green hoodie. I raise my eyebrows.

"Oh hunny," Her voice softens and it's almost like she has a completely different personality. She must've remembered what Tadashi told her about my anxiety. I mean, yeah I'm pretty nervous right now but my anxiety isn't _that_ bad. Dissociation and anxiety are two completely different things. I'll have to remember to tell him later, though he probably just said it to save time. "There's no rule against taking your time."

"Thank you." And I really meant it. Not just for the advice, but for her reaction in general.

"Oh hunny," She pulls my into a hug and I realize the blur in my eyes are tears, hot and slowly streaming down my cheeks. "Of course."

I thank her again and she pats my back in return. Cass has known about us for awhile, even before Hiro found out. She met all of us at once- Fred, Gogo, Wasabi, Honey, and me. Tadashi introduced us, including me, as his friends, but I think she probably figured it one of the other times we met that we were together. Either way, she knew for sure the night Hiro first came to SFIT.

"I'm so excited for you!" she squeals as we let go of the embrace, her hands still on my shoulders. "When are you planning to do it?"

"Planning to do what?" Me and Cass startle as we hear a voice. I turn around to Tadashi and smile.

"Oh, nothing!" Cass squeaks, pulling away from me and switching back and forth from me and Tadashi. "Mn was just talking about how he-" her eyes land on the coffee machine that had been buzzing for a couple minutes now. She takes the coffee mug from its spot and quickly hands it to me, almost splashing the burning hot coffee on my fingers. "-wanted to work at the Lucky Cat Cafe!"

I raise my eyebrows at her before realizing I should probably go along with her. I turn to Tadashi, who's looking at her with the same amount of surprise that I feel.

"Really?" He grins and walks up to me, clapping his hand on my shoulder. "That's great! Wow, what's up with all these new decisions?"

I grin but I can't force it to be anything but awkward. "Just...feeling it, I guess?"

.

Before I go get the parts for Fredrick, I decide to go look at it first, just to see whether it's the parts that are wrong or the skeleton, but as soon as I walk into my lab all thoughts fly right out of my head.

I won't be needing to go get those parts anymore.

When I finally manage to move my body, I stalk forward further into the room. "How?" I exclaim, though no ones in the room to hear me. "How is this possible?" I stop right in front of the blue glow from the completely built and functioning time portal. At the top of the heptagon in the screen is today's date in black bold characters. At my feet is every plug and wire connected to Fredrick, all the parts fitted together perfectly. I stare into the abyss of blue and now purple. "What..?"

 **.**

I listen to my phone's playlist as I drive to the arcade. My mind is racing with questions, theories. Honestly, it's not as surprising as it should be. I mean, I travelled back in time multiple times now- my time travelling machine being built is more of a blessing than something strange. Still, it's unnerving. Even in the other timelines, the fastest I've been able to build Fredrick was three days, which means that the machine either went back in time by itself, or someone fixed it beforehand. Me, maybe? From a future timeline? But then, why would I do that? And if that's true, does it work right, now? The least I could've done is write a note.

I cough as another theory stills all other the other thoughts running through my head. What if it's about Tadashi? He's the _only_ reason I use Fredrick right now. If something happened to him-

I sigh, calming myself before I start breaking a sweat. This isn't some sci-fi movie, it's not one of Fred's comics. This is real life, at least for now. Whatever happens, happens. Either way, I'm saving Tadashi. And that's it. I'll just live through this week and save him again at the showcase.

I sniff and pull down my Reality Shifts beanie over my hair, choosing to quiet my thoughts by listening to the song playing from my phone's playlist. It's the first I've actually listened to anything since I've gotten in the car. Vancouver Sleep Clinic- Flaws. I remember the day I first listened to it- I got this beanie on the exact same day, when Gogo had said I couldn't pull off a skirt. On the front is a green square with three eyes and a fedora with the words "Buy Silver" under it. Tadashi bought it for me. It was the first thing he ever got me.

.

"Has anyone noticed that Mn wears the exact counterpart clothing to Tadashi?" Fred comments.

"What?" I ask, looking over at him. He's sitting between Gogo and Wasabi, Hiro one step down from him on the stairs, surrounding him. We always sit in the same place at this park, each timeline, which seems like one of those things that wouldn't be fixed in time but is. This conversation, however, hadn't started before.

"Tadashi wears a cap, you wear a beanie," Another difference. This time around, I hadn't worn a beanie either. "he wears a cardigan, you wear a hoodie," I look down at my blue and white raglan and raise an eyebrow at him. "I mean, _usually_. And also, your shoes."

Both me and Tadashi look at our shoes, moving our feet closer together.

"You wear converse while he wears vans."

"She wears high heels, I wear sneakers-" I start and the others join in.

"She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers!"

Fred looks at me with utter disappointment and I bend over laughing.

"You couldn't have expected me _not_ to do that, man."

"You did this." Hiro blames Fred.

"Score one for Team Smaug." Gogo announces, smirking.

"I'm sorry, what year is this?" Hiro rubs at the corner of his eyes. "And what year was that song made in?"

"Like, eighty years ago." Gogo exaggerates.

"It's a classic!" Honey defends, an amused grin on her face as she leans forward.

"You _can't_ be serious." says Gogo.

I grin. "My-heart-stops! When you look at me!" And Honey and Tadashi join me for the rest of the chorus.

"What were we talking about again?" Wasabi asks.

"The fact that Tadashi wearing a cap and cardigan everyday like a cartoon character makes me seem like a copyrighted version of him." I reply.

"I don't wear a cap and cardigan everyday," he defends.

"'I'm not always wearing a cap and cardigan, but when I'm not, I am.'" Fred mocks, earning himself a group of laughs. Then he inhales deeply, startling us. "I got it!"

"Got what?"

"Tadashi's nickname!"

We gasp, all of us, except Hiro. It's silly, but nicknames are a big deal in our group of friends. Or, rather than a big deal, it's more like you get called it for an hour and it sticks for the rest of your life with everyone who meets your friends. It sticks for so long that we forget each other's own names. It took me a long time to figure out that Gogo and Honey's name's weren't actually Gogo and Honey. Same with Wasabi, actually- I thought it was Japanese.

"Holy shit." It slips out before I can stop myself and I clap my hand over my mouth as Hiro looks at me wide-eyed. The others gasp again and Tadashi slaps my shoulder. "I mean, shitzu, my favorite dog. The best dog. The very best boy. Or girl. Or whatever. Dog. Good dog."

I don't miss the roll of Hiro's eyes.

"Cap and cardigan," The conversation turns over to Fred again, as he looks like he's had a epiphany. "C.C!"

Tadashi paled as the others and I practically tumble over laughing. "Oh no, no no no no no."

"What's wrong C.C?" Gogo teased, arms crossed and leering at him. "Did we push your buttons?"

And the start of the puns began. "Don't like being jacket around?"

"Cap got your tongue?"

"This isn't gonna stick, right? Right?" Tadashi searches desperately for confirmation.

"Don't get your buttons in a twist, C.C." He groans at Hiro's smirk. Gogo seems to be rubbing off on Blue Jacket.

.

"What's your real name?" Hiro asks the next day, later in the evening, hours after the heart to heart and celebration of Gogo's birthday. The crew and me went out with Gogo for a couple of hours to celebrate her birthday while Hiro stayed here. We came back and I'm hanging out with him on his side of the room while Tadashi gets food.

"Tyrone Evans."

"No, I mean before you moved to San Fransokyo."

I cringe. "Tyrone Evans."

Hiro turns around in his chair, pushing himself off his desk to roll closer to the edge of his bed, where I sat. "Yesterday Fred said you got your name changed when you moved here from Scandinavia."

I furrow my eyebrows and screw up my face to show him my discontent. "Ugh, no. It's embarrassing."

The corner of his lip turned up for a fraction of a second. "I won't laugh."

"No."

"How is it embarrassing?"

"It sounds exactly like the county I'm from."

"...Swindon?"

"What?"

"Denny?"

"No."

"Mark?"

"Why would I be embarrassed by the name Mark?"

"Well I don't know, man! Tell me!"

"No!"

"Ok, then I'll start calling you Baby-face."

I roll my head back and squeeze my eyes shut. "No, no please don't." I whisper desperately, exasperated.

"Baby face and CC. Hilarious."

I run my hand down my face, tipping over and landing on my back as I groan.

"What's your ship name? Minashi Tadarone?" Hiro suddenly asks.

I chuckle into my hands. "What?"

"Something Fred came up with after you left yesterday morning."

"Sounds like him," I chuckle and spread my arms across the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"You're really comfortable, aren't you?"

I look down at him, lifting my head up from the bed. "It's a nice bed." I struggle to sit up using my elbows. "Anyway, ship names?"

"Yeah, though personally I'm a fan of Beancap."

"Beancap?"

"Yeah, made it up yesterday. You know, you wear beanies, Tadashi wears caps."

I laugh. "You're lame." I retort, picking at a lone string on his comforter. "Your naming is awful-"

It's his turn to laugh. "Alright, _Smith._ "

"Shut up!" I grin. "Anyway, I like Bayderick better."

His face went blank. "I was wrong. You're way worse at naming than I originally thought."

"No, no, give it a chance. Fredrick," I show one hand, and then the other. "Baymax," _Clap! "_ Bayderick."

"Fredrick?"

"My project."

"Oh yeah," Hiro looks thoughtful for a second. "You and Fred must be really close."

"Fredrick isn't named after Fred."

"No, not that. It's just that you did almost the exact hand motion Fred did yesterday when he came up with Minashi Tadarone."

"Huh." Sometimes I forget how much I miss when I'm not with them. It's weird to hear that people, friends, talk about me when I'm not around. "You're a lot like Tadashi too, you know?"

"Well, yeah, he's my brother. We live in the same room."

"True, true." I nod. There's a few seconds of quiet that I can literally feel on my _skin_ becoming awkward, so I'm quick to try to cover it up. "So, you ship us?" I grin.

Hiro looks confused, then he pales.

I smirk. "You wouldn't come up with ship names if you didn't ship us."

"You know what, Baby-face-" I frown, then laugh at how red his face is. Before he can finish, footsteps come up the stairs and Tadashi's walking into the room with two white bags of heavenly smelling food.

He looks at me, grin on my face, then at Hiro, red in the face. He pouts sillily. "What were you two talking about?"

He clears his face and walks up to me, handing me a bag of food as I mutter a quiet _thanks_ while Hiro talks. "I was asking Baby- Tyrone here what his real name is."

Tadashi doesn't see my wide eyed expression as he answers Hiro before I could stop him. Of course Tadashi knows my old name. "It's Tyrone."

I'm gonna marry him.

"Are you ready to go?" Tadashi looks down at me.

I nod and stand up.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, uh," Tadashi stutters. I glance between the two brothers. "Mn's house."

"Again?"

Oh no. "I'm living with him for a week." Hiro tries to say something but Tadashi grabs my hand and we're heading for the door. "You'll be fine."

"Wha-?"

"You'll be fine." He repeats in a nonchalant tone as we walk down the stairs to the door, exiting the bedroom.

.

Nothing's all that different with Tadashi living at my house. Neither of us can stay in one spot for long, so after breakfast we go to the Lucky Cat Cafe or to SFIT or both and we don't get back until evening. Tadashi has his own room, of course, and he spends his time either studying or reading science magazines. He sleeps early while I stay awake most of the night. Can't really help this newfound insomnia. But still, it's only the second day. Tomorrow Tadashi has class and I need to see what's happening with Fredrick.

I realized too late that this whole theory of mine wouldn't work unless I had spent this time with Tadashi last timeline to know what he'd remember this timeline. I wouldn't know anything about Tadashi but maybe Honey...yeah, something would definitely change with Honey. She was awake enough to have watched at least two of the movies. Maybe if I hint at it, it'll click with her. Also, the day after tomorrow, maybe Tadashi will remember that inside joke.

But it begs the question- _would they remember Tadashi's death?_

It wasn't entirely out of the question. Those three months after the second timeline had been pretty rough-edged. No one wanted to mention the fire. No one wanted to talk about the _injuries._ No matter how unhealthy it seemed, Tadashi just wasn't ready to talk about it. We respected that. Even now, looking down at my arm, I expect to see the burns. Sometimes it's still unbearably hot, even though this body hasn't gone through it yet.

 _Yet_. Why did I think _yet_?

At home, alone in my room, I find myself listening to music. Cloud 9 by Brookfield. I mouth the words to the song as I lay on my bed, hands behind my head, trying to keep myself from pondering the future anymore. It's hard, though. My mind keeps going back to the memory of smoldering hot fire and stinging glass shards in my back. I wasn't even conscious to feel it but somehow I remember it, clear as day. What little sleep I get ends with me waking up in a sweat and all the time I spend alone with only my thoughts is filled with doubt. _What if I don't save Tadashi? What if he's destined to die_? But then I think about it, and it can't be- he _survived. I saved_ him. Wasn't stuff like that suppose to be instant? You think they'll get hit by a truck but they choke on a potato chip later that day? He lived three months after the showcase, so it doesn't make any sense.

A knock on my door distracts me from my thoughts. My heart stops for a second before I remember that it could only be Tadashi. Yeah, like death would literally knock on my door.

I tell him to come in and he strides right in, graceful as always. He has a slow stride, his steps always seem calculated and careful, yet still laidback. He walks like he talks. With confidence, a coolness. A thoughtfulness.

He glances around the room, like he hasn't been in here before. A TV atop a oakwood stand next to the door, a closed walk-in closet to the right, a bed opposite the TV and a window to the left.

A hot almost-redhead on the bed.

I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively and move my hand from under my head to pat the empty space beside me. He laughs and crawls onto my bed, laying against my side with his head on my pillow.

I grin at him. "Ready to learn how to do taxes?"

"God, no."

 **.**

We spend the evening going over our potential responsibilities. Jobs, chores, gas, water, electricity, cable, other various living expenses. The showcase gave me a scholarship into SFIT but I still had to pay for textbooks and fees for supplies. Many, many supplies. Anyway, I have been paying for this house's utilities for five years now. Money has never been a problem for our family. I guess we're wealthy? My mom and my brothers never spent money on any exceptional things- you could guess the look on my face when I was a kid and realized we could afford three beach houses in California and still have money left over. Anyway, all of mom's money got split up between us three- Kachi, Chase, and me. I've started looking for a job. Not because I'm running out but because I'm tired of doing nothing. I mean, one day I _will_ run out. Might as well start now. I had a job back in high school but after mom died I took leave and never went back- which was a huge mistake now that I'm being honest. It's hard enough finding a job without _that_ on my record.

So, I take care of this two story house, all alone. Until now.

We split up the chores. I take out _all_ the trash, vacuum, wash the dishes- because Tadashi cooks, God knows I can't cook to save my life-, get the mail- I mean, it's only my mail-, and do my own laundry. In accordance to that, Tadashi cooks, as aforementioned, does his own laundry, mops, cleans sinks, and wipes down the counters. He's only staying a week so he's not _actually_ going to split the bill, but we made a game out of it and planned it out anyways. This is a rather large house so it is rather expensive- Tadashi's eyes grew and he made a cute little gasp when he saw how much I paid for utilities. The houses mortgage is already paid off- and so Tadashi, if this were real, would only pay electricity. We'd split the gas, water, and groceries, while I payed for the internet and cable. Electricity isn't actually that high. I spend the most of my days at school. I mostly just come here to sleep. Sometimes, most of the time really, being in this huge house by myself brings back too many bad memories and honestly isn't any good for me. Internet, though? When I can't sleep I practically live on the internet- I mean, except recently. Too much going on, too much thinking already. But I have been doing some research on one thing.

The Mandela effect.

What's been happening lately, Hiro remembering Fredrick, it's all supporting the theory. Something about alternate universes colliding, but in my case, it's just timelines. Small things change, one forgets which one is real, all seem insignificant. Because everything else is fixed someone would barely notice it. But I do, because I've been in those timelines. I _created them_.

But that could only mean that others created their own too. Paradoxes. Alternate realities. Someone's made a time machine before and somehow no one ever knew about it. How else would the Mandela Effect theory have come about?

But why change Spiderman into Spider-Man?

I laugh at the thought.

"What are you laughing about?" Tadashi asks, curled up into my side with his arm around my abdomen and his head on my shoulder.

The only light is the lamp on my bedside table, shining a soft sunglow over the room. I stare up at the ceiling fan as I reply. "Nothing. Just thought of something funny."

"What is it?"

I smile lightly and look down at him, on my shoulder and _breathing._ Still can't believe it. "C.C."

His face morphs from relaxed to mildly annoyed. "Bonehead."

"Asshole," I grin lazily, watching his lips quirk up at the word for a quick second before he pouted.

"You're so mean to me. I didn't even swear at you."

"I just said the opposite of what you said." I watch as his face scrunches up, thinking about it. His eyebrows rise in realization and I bark out a laugh.

"Ok, Fred's officially right. You are a copyrighted version of me."

"I'm the one who said that, though."

"He brought it up."

"I wish you wouldn't talk about other men while in bed with me," I tease. He snorts and closes his eyes, relaxing against me.

"Be a nicer boyfriend, then." He retorts, voice low and breathy. He yawns.

"I'm an amazing boyfriend." _I better be amazing after all I've done._

Tadashi shakes his head in a small motion, incapable of moving comfortably while on my shoulder like this. His hand moves to my chest, just rests there. "Mm, not what I said."

"Ok," My tone matches his. "C.C."

He smacks my chest.

"Ow…!" Wincing, I feel more than hear his breath steady. I lean my head down to kiss his forehead. "If you're going to sleep, at least get under the covers…" I whisper to him.

He does, and I follow right after him. I turn the lamp off and for a couple minutes I just watch him sleep. God, it sounds weird saying it, even in my head. Is this creepy or romantic? I can't tell. Either way, it doesn't take me long to fall asleep, and in seconds it's morning. Birds chirping and everything. The light shines in my face from the window. It makes me squint, but it's not all that bright. It's the soft morning glow of slate blue, blocked rudely by the dark green leaves of the tree outside my window. Tadashi's laying with his head in the crook of my arm, eyes closed and snoring softly, relaxed without a care in the world. I go back to sleep.

.

"My name is _not C.C. Oh my gosh!"_ Tadashi moaned and whined for the fifth time. "What did I say about being a nice boyfriend?"

"I wasn't gonna mention it, but I love when you call me your boyfriend."

"It's really hard to be angry when you say stuff like that."

"Then how about you show me that gorgeous smile instead?"

Tadashi's silence was accompanied by the red rushing to his cheeks.

"You're really cute when you blush." I smirk smugly when he groans.

We just got out of class for the afternoon and we're in the cafeteria, eating in the two o'clock traffic at one of the round tables. I'm done for the day but he's got one more class at five. I didn't actually have to go, but I shared that class with him and I'd rather have spent my time with him than in my lab wracking my brain on Fredrick. We rarely ate in the cafeteria. It's too crowded and too loud for us to properly flirt(fan over robotics) with each other. We either went to a fast food restaurant and ate there or in the courtyard, or we went to the Lucky Cat Cafe.

Neither of us wanted to go out, though, since I had something to do right after this.

The cafeteria was kinda nice. The bustling, it's full of life. It's comforting. The front walls coming in were just large blue-tinted windows, similar to the robotics lab, but it was shaped like a normal building. The roof arched up in a dome, and it had a kind of classical vibe. If only it had a mural- pure aesthetic right there.

"You can't have me unless you have my flirts. Just like I can't have you without your cap and cardigan." He glares at me, shuffling his dark gray cardigan to cover his(well, my) white t shirt with four growing orbs set in a circle around each other, the smallest orb inside the biggest, finishing the loop.

"I'm gonna stop wearing cardigans, just to spite you."

"Pfft," I wave my hand flippantly. "A blazer counts as a cardigan in this context."

"You know what, Evans?" He says threateningly, sitting up in his chair. He's grinning though, and there's a laugh in his voice.

"What, Hamada?" I smirk and raise a thin dark eyebrow at him. He tries to mask his shudder by shuffling closer in his chair across from me.

"You really need to learn that a cardigan and a blazer aren't the same thing."

"Same difference,"

"Is not!"

"Alright, you big baby."

He pokes his tongue out at me, to which I reply back the bird.

As soon as we finish eating I get a text. I look at it, feel guilty that my mood has dropped just a little, and reply back. It's not her fault, I just can't stop thinking about our situation. It feels like I'm using him- Tadashi. I've never been keen on experimenting on people, and even though he's not hooked up on a machine, it still feels like he's my test subject. I know I didn't force him to live with me, even if it is just for a week, but it's like I'm taking advantage of him, somehow. Just to prove one of my theories.

"You ok?" I look up at Tadashi, smiling gently with his eyebrows raised. I relax at the sight of it. "Do you have to go?"

"Yeah," my mouth feels dry. It's like seeing him for the first time. Every day I fall for him all over again, as cheesy as it sounds. My heart warms just looking at him. Seriously, his smile could save a world. I stand up, put my hand on the back of the red plastic chair. "I'll," _see you later, talk to you later, I have to go, I love you, I'll text you later, see you at home, be right back, pick one already-!_ "I'll find you later."

 _Everyday is like the first._

.

"What's up? You said you wanted to talk?" Big green eyes watch me from under long, black eyelashes and wide-rimmed square glasses, wide with curiosity, a hint of concern, and bright enough to blind.

"Um, yeah," I wince at how loud my voice is, I take my hand out of my hair before I pull at it. Why do I always get so awkward when it's just Honey? Or maybe I'm this awkward with everyone?

She waits patiently for me to continue, pink lips pursed in confusion. Her strawberry blonde hair is pulled back by her usual yellow hair band, contrasting against the pink rim of her glasses and tan of her skin.

"Um, so Henrick Vase?"

"Oh!" She brightens up. "You could've just texted me about that! I enjoyed it a lot!"

O...Kay..? "You did?"

"Yeah, I mean, I know I blacked out after a bit but-" I blank out. She _knows._ She remembers it.

"We didn't…" She stops and I realize I interrupted her. "Sorry, but we didn't...watch-" I hesitate. "We weren't together last night."

Her eyes blank for a moment, mouth set in a lowercase 'o' as her eyes turn to the side. "Oh!" She says after a moment. "Yeah, you're right! I was with Gogo last night. I made her birthday cupcakes." She smiles awkwardly, and it's kinda cute. Not as cute at Tadashi's, but cute nonetheless. "That must've been the dream I had last night. Really weird, It felt so real." She looks a bit confused.

"Ever heard of sleep paralysis?"

 **.**

We talked for an hour after that. I wanted to change the conversation quick before something, whatever it might be, happens. I don't know what'll happen if she remembers too much, or if this timeline somehow syncs, however unlikely it might be, with the last one. She's a smart girl and I'm a bad liar. I haven't lied this much since I was a kid. I've prided myself on being an openbook. I try to keep to my morals, but this situation causes for some little white lies. Though, I doubt she'd be able to guess what's really going on based on some fake(real?) memories.

This is the most we've talked in all the years we've known each other. We walked to her side of the lab and I watched as she did her chemistry things while we talked. She filled the pockets of her new purse, the one I gave her, with tubes of elements and concoctions and I couldn't help comparing her to a modern witch. An alchemist.

I'm not looking forward to being there when she actually watches the movies and realizes that she's seen them before. If she does end up remembering the full thing, let's pray she doesn't bring me up on the topic. Like I said, I'm a awful liar, and if she mentions that she watched it with me I probably wouldn't be able to get the words "don't remember that" out of my mouth.

.

Tadashi's head tilts back in a laugh as he holds up the pink frilly skirt. "Oh my gosh! Do you remember this? This is the _same_ skirt from almost two years ago!"

I wrinkle my nose at it. After Carly's we came here to Flaming Subjects because Tadashi wanted to pick out some "non-cardigans".

" _Sweaters, cardigans, and blazers are_ not _the same thing!"_

" _Same difference,"_

" _Tell me you're kidding or this relationship is over."_

Amongst the merch, t-shirts, and dresses was that skirt. I didn't recognize it at first until Tadashi pointed it out. It was hidden in a rack overloaded with thin loose shirts and crop tops, surrounded by racks on racks all around. The store would be pitch black if it weren't for the lights hanging over us. The walls were covered with band merch and anime backpacks.

"My first attempt at feminine beauty." I sigh, nostalgic. "Good days…"

"No matter how pretty, it'll never match the first." Tadashi says, playfully. "And you're almost wearing the exact same shirt. People really _don't_ change, huh?"

I look down at my sky blue and white raglan shirt. "Yeah, except this one is blue instead of red."

"Color switch, same difference."

"Ok, you can't use that phrase on colors. They're colors."

"Yeah? Well now you know how it feels."

"Ok but they're literally colors." I say and take the skirt from his hands.

"Gonna try it on?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Uh…" I eye the cloth. I still have the pictures of that day. I had tried on a _lot_ of skirts, which weren't at all as uncomfortable as TV made it seem, but maybe it was because I was wearing my jeans underneath.

Back then, we had only been dating three months. We hadn't been on any dates yet, hadn't even started talking about introducing me to his brother. It was a week or so later that I met Mama Cass for the first time. It wasn't anything formal, just Fred, Wasabi, Honey and me coming to the cafe for breakfast for the first time. Hiro had been at school that day, so we didn't get to meet him. That was when we first, by definition, started dating. We had both been busy working on classes and our projects and didn't have time for it. We started going on _real_ dates and then the topic of meeting Hiro came up and so on.

"I'm pretty comfortable with my masculine appearance." I say, putting the skirt back on its rack.

"Yeah," Tadashi's voice trails off and I look up at his soft smile. "We've come a long way, huh?"

I can't help but smile back. "Yeah, a _very_ long way."

"And you and Hiro are getting along well? You two seemed to be having a lot of fun yesterday."

"Yeah, we had a long talk about the importance of family. And sexuality."

"Wow, whoa, what?" Tadashi's thick black eyebrows raise up his forehead.

"I think he might be aro ace." I say, nodding nonchalantly. "You should ask him."

"You figured that how?" He asks, incredulously.

"Just the way he reacted when we looked it up yesterday. You should really spend time with your bro more. I think I'm gaining all your bro points."

Tadashi looks at me, appalled.

.

"Ok, this is more flirting than I can take." Tadashi drew his lower lip between his teeth and ran his hand over his neck.

Once again we were in my room, right after watching Reality Shifts with me being fascinated with the fact that Tadashi kept correctly guessing what was going to happen to the characters a few seconds before it happened despite these being the newest episodes of the show. Another Mandela effect. Right after that we got on the topic of Fredrick and Baymax, then to Hiro and the past, and now I've been flirting with him for five minutes.

"You should try it, it's fun." I say as Tadashi turns his whole body around to face the headboard behind me, still on his stomach, hands clasped.

"I can't flirt to save a life."

"Just smile, that's good enough."

Tadashi groans, laying his head in the crook of one elbow, his other arm outstretched. "Ugh, Ty…"

I shudder. "What? It's true!"

Tadashi looks at me with his pink-tinted cheek pressed against his lower arm. I ignore the heat on my face to study his. His pupils are blown wide and his lips are slightly parted, the hand of the bent arm under his head mindlessly sliding its fingers over his outstretched one. Slowly, softly.

I freeze, remembering what happened around this time in the last timeline.

"Tyrone…" His voice startles me, deep and low, nervous, his gaze unwavering.

"Tadashi?" I suppress another shudder. He only ever calls me by my name when we're alone. It's Mn everywhere else. When we're with the group, especially.

"Isn't it hot in here?" He moves up on his elbows, beginning to move off the bed. "I'm gonna turn the air on."

I grab his hand before he can fully stand up, legs already off the edge of the bed. I give him a smug grin. "Maybe it's just you."

I laugh as his face scrunches up, having seen it coming as soon as I grinned at him. He must really want to hit me, but he pulls away and walks out the door, unamused by my constant laughter. I've quit by the time he comes back in, the hum of the air conditioner now softly radiating throughout the house.

He lays back down beside me and turns the lamp behind him off.

"You really like my bed, don't you?" I say as he lays his head on my pillow, the same spot I fell asleep in yesterday. I move myself from the headboard to the pillow beside his, matching his posture.

"No, I just like you." He replies, smiling warmly.

I grin. "And you said you couldn't flirt." The air is really working in here, huh? I can feel my cheeks cooling already. "So how about you lay on me, instead?"

Tadashi laughs, mostly unfazed. He's very used to my flirting by now. I'd be worried if he wasn't. "I _just_ said I was hot." he says, but he rolls on top of me anyway.

"Yeah, I can tell just by looking." I wrap my arms around his waist. He chuckles against my lips as he kisses me.

We slowly relax into one another's arms, his hands on my shoulders, and get lost in each other's kiss. I don't know how much time passes until we slow to a stop and I open my eyes to meet his soft gaze. "Incredible," he huffs out a laugh and kisses me again, just a peck. "Who taught you how to kiss like that?"

"I learned from the best," he tilts his head to the side, glancing towards the far wall before looking back at me. He lays his head in my neck and we just stay like this for awhile, in comfortable silence.

"I really like you…" He moans into my neck.

I kiss his temple. "I love you…"

He leans up and kisses my nose. "I love you too." One of his hands moves up to cart through my probably messy hair, starting at my nape and barely touching my skin. I relax into his hold, leaning my head back into the massage. I sigh and close my eyes. "Good?"

"If this feels great just imagine what else those hands could do." I mumble. He pauses for a long second, before continuing scratching the back of my head. I open my eyes and wink at him, wanting to calm any nerves he might have.

He smiles a little, just a quirk of his lips. His gaze is on my mouth, unfocused.

"Hey," I say and his dazed eyes clear and focus on mine. "I was just joking." I say softly. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I know." He sighs. "And thanks. I was just thinking about what you said earlier, about Hiro? Him possibly being aro ace and all that…?" He shifts on top of me. "Guess I'm still trying to figure myself out."

"Take your time, no one's forcing you." I assure, furrowing my eyebrows in concern. "Sexuality is confusing for everyone. _I_ haven't even figured a label for myself. Demisexual is the closest, but supposedly I'm suppose to have a prefix before it- like pan or bi or something. I'd probably be pan if I ever felt any interest for anyone besides you.."

"Yeah...wait, was that another flirt?"

I smirk.

"You're the worst."

"I'm serious!" I laugh, glad the tension has somewhat settled.

"I think I might be asexual?" He continues. "I mean, I'm definitely biromantic, but I've never…? Felt sexual attraction? Maybe?" His tone gets higher at the end of his sentence, as if asking me.

"Well I wouldn't know. Only you know how you feel." I shrug.

"But that's the thing. I _don't_ know." He sighs and lays his head in the crook of my neck again. "Isn't this the kind of thing you figure out in high school?"

"Shit like that doesn't have a age limit." I say, staring up at the ceiling, one arm to my side and the other wrapped loosely around his waist.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well, what do you feel right now?"

"Like kissing you…"

I'm suddenly aware of his warm breath on my neck. "Ha. Cheesy."

"You can't talk."

"You like when I talk." He doesn't say anything to that, so I keep on. I can't see his face to scope out his expression. "What did you feel before you turned the air on?"

"Hot. I'm still hot." Mandela effect. Still in progress.

"Is that all?"

"What are you getting at? I'm sure you're house is just abnormally warm and I'm _not_ going through a heat. Number one, I'm a human. And two, this isn't a romance novel."

I laugh. "Are you sure? We could just be someone's very cringy fanfiction."

"Bonehead."

"Asshole."

"You're unbelievable."

"You're still incredible."

Tadashi sighs, but this time it sounded almost dreamy. "Really charming," He mumbles into my skin. It doesn't sound like he's joking. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"That's my line." I smile as he kisses my neck and his hands start to ruffle through my hair again.

"Can I keep you?"

"Please."

He kisses me. Again and again and again.

"It's not fair to you." He says afterward, sitting up in my lap. I'm panting and can't get my breath back cause _damn, boy can kiss._

"What's not?" I ask.

"Me being so uncertain." He stops me before I can say anything. "No, wait. We've been together for a long time now and despite how two years doesn't seem that long to some people, it's been both of our longest and our first. Relationship." He quickly adds. "It's not right that you have to have a boyfriend who doesn't even know what he wants."

"You _do_ know what you want. You want a healthy and successful life where Baymax is accessible to everyone who needs it and relationships that last a lifetime. It's the same thing that I want, that your friends want, and what your family wants. Anything else we can figure out later, together."

I'm glad to see his face brighten up. "Really?"

"Really." I pull him down so that his nose is inches from mine and his fists are beside my head, pinning me in place. "But, if it still bothers you, we can figure it out right now."

"Um…"

"Don't worry, I won't do anything you don't like." I run my thumbs over the little patch of skin on his hips not covered by his shirt. "Now, tell me what you're comfortable with."

.

"Is that Tyrone's hoodie?"  
"Yeah.."  
"And since when did you go to Sky-Lines?"  
"Mn took me on our first anniversary?"  
And there's that little growl of Hiro's. Good times.

It's the morning after. We've stopped at the Lucky Cat Cafe for breakfast and for me to work out a schedule. It's a shame- when I finally get a job, it's just my luck that only a couple days from now I might be in the hospital again. For like a week. But if I do this right this time, then maybe it won't call for it.

We eat breakfast, I tell Hiro about Fred and me for the third time-

" _So you named your project after Fred?"_

" _No," I squinted. "I told you that before, didn't I?"_

" _No you didn't." He said it almost adamantly, and he seems kind of annoyed for some reason. It reminded me of the first time around._

" _Yeah, I did." He looked confused. "A couple days ago?"_

 _His puzzled expression lasts for a few seconds until realization seems to hit him. "Oh yeah, you did." He still looks confused though. "Guess I forgot. Usually don't remember things I don't care about."_

-And then we laughed for a time and I had to drive Tadashi to school. I didn't have classes today and I didn't need to have Fred's help testing Fredrick- I already know it works. I drop Tadashi off, and then I go back to the Lucky Cat Cafe cause I need something to do with my hands and working would be a great way to pass the time. I don't see Hiro all day aside from when he comes up from the garage to his room. I start a shift, telling Mama Cass not to worry about paying me but she says she's adding it to my paycheck anyway, even though I don't legally start working until tomorrow.

After I pick up Tadashi and bring him home for food, I walk upstairs to tell Hiro we're here.

"Hiro, we're home!" I open the door and walk up the stairs, only to be met with a glare. Hiro's eyes are dark and intense, but then they go wide and he turns away, looking confused.

"Oh. Hey."

"Are you alright, buddy?" I walk up to him. He's sitting up on the edge of his bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He flinches as I get closer. I stop in my tracks. "Sorry, don't know what's up." He gathers himself. "So, how was working in the cafe?" He motions to the chair beside his computer. I sit down.

We talk for a bit about the day, but I notice how he's getting more and more irritable and impatient. At some point he just stops. He won't look at me, won't talk.

"Are you ok?" I ask after a few seconds of intense silence.

"I don't…" His voice cracks and his eyes shine, completely contradicting his mad posture. His crossed arms loosen and his glare softens, his scowl turns into a frown and his nose turns red. "I just don't feel like talking right now."

I watch, fascinated. He's acting just like…

He wipes his eyes with the heel of his palm. "I don't know why I'm crying," his voice is miserable. He sniffs. "I just felt awful, all of a sudden? What the heck?"

 _Mandela effect,_ the first thing to cross my mind as I listen to him sniffle. He doesn't sound mad anymore. Wasn't this about the time I left when we went through this the first time? Had he started crying after all that yelling when we first talked here?

"Can you, like…?" He asks and I need no further explanation.

I nod and leave the room.

.

"C.C number two?"

"Please no."

"Little Tadashi?"

"Gogo, I swear."

"Blue-Jacket?"

"Mn, no, think of what you just said. Then if you can't see what's wrong, spell it out." Gogo says.

I think. Then burst out laughing. "Ohhh!"

"It's better than C.C number two." Hiro looks pointedly at Fred.

We all laugh. "Oh ho ho, no it's not!" He didn't get it and we weren't about to tell him.

"See, now you're not nervous." Wasabi says, pushing the dumpster full of microbots effortlessly.

"I wasn't in the first place."

"Look at all the amazing tech here today." Tadashi says, looking around. "Sure you're not nervous?"

As soon as we get to the stage and set Hiro's stuff down, I casually make an exit.

 **.**

"Where'd Mn go?" Hiro asks, causing the others to look around.

"Is he Ratman or something? He just disappeared!" Fred says, looking behind him like he'd be standing right there. Of course there's nothing but empty space.

"Right after the Blue-Jacket joke he left!" Wasabi puts in.

'Still not getting the joke there." Hiro says.

Fred puts an arm around Hiro's shoulders. "Well, little Hamada, I think it's time you learn about the cardigans and the hoodies."

"The what?"

His name is called to the stage before Fred can elaborate or let anyone stop him from elaborating.

 **.**

"Or should I say the raglan and cardigan? The ragligan!" Fred says after they walk out of the showcase, Cass promising dinner on her. "Boom! New ship name."

"Fred, no." Wasabi chides.

"Timecap?" Hiro asks hopefully as Tadashi grabbed his shoulder to stop him from walking on.

"Not you too, Hiro!" Wasabi moans as Fred smirks.

"We'll catch up with you in a minute." Tadashi says to Aunt Cass.

She nods and walks off.

They walk over to the bridge not too far away from the exhibit hall and just talk for a bit. Tadashi congratulates him and Hiro thanks him back. It wouldn't have happened without Tadashi, and Hiro makes sure to tell him that right before the alarms go off.

.

I rush passed Hiro again, this time right as he's lifting Tadashi's cap.

 _Beancap_.

I rush through the door, locate Tadashi in the exact same place as before, arm not fully stretched out and mouth slowly widening in a yell. I run to him, grab him by his waist, glad not to feel the burning sensation in my arm, and activate the device on my hip. A gold bubble like thing envelopes us and I can feel time starting up again, a last minute heat biting my arm and the bubble smashing through the glass behind us with minimal resistance before I pass out with one last thought-

 _Mandela aff-_

.

It's definitely not as bad as last time. No, actually, this is perfect. I mean, I can't watch action movies anymore- again, anymore?- but that should pass soon, right? I still have nightmares most nights about the...the showcase- _dontsayfiredontsayfiredontsayfire-_ but that's expected, right? Everyone's fine, we got out of the hospital _way_ quicker than last time. Just two days actually. I have some spots on my arm again but that's all they are, spots. Small splotches. Tadashi, though, It's better than last time. I didn't get there quick enough for him to be completely unharmed, but he's ok. The skin around his left eye is a angry pink, but other than that he's fine. There's no glass in my back, no spinal injuries, no scars aside from the splotches, and after a few years those will be barely noticeable too.

The scar doesn't bother him. He gets less looks in public, and he doesn't cover his face with his cap. He's still as hesitant to talk about the- _it_ as I am and no one can blame us for it.

That week was over and Tadashi moved back home. I saw my brothers again, but this time they didn't stay at our house. It's not like they had a choice, since I wasn't living there at the moment. It was too dark and lonely there. Left me with too much time to think. I didn't need that. I haven't been to my lab since _it_ and I don't think I'm going back for a long time until I absolutely have to. I'm living with Fred for just a couple of weeks. He invited me in and I gladly accepted. It's not like it isn't big enough for two, and he's also my best friend. I've stayed over before but not for this long and not in a couple of years. I still go to classes and I have started to work at the Lucky Cat Cafe. Mama Cass checks up on me regularly and I appreciate it a lot. I've actually started to see her as an actual mother figure. She's also real adamant on me proposing soon.

And for the others, me and Honey have gotten closer. She noticed that I had used one of her work in progress devices to make that bubble that saved our lives. When I woke up the day after in the hospital, she made sure to tell me how bad an idea that was and how awful it could have gone if it hadn't of worked. She never thought to ask me why or how I knew I'd need it. She wiped the tears out of her eyes as I apologized and from then on we just hung out more.

Gogo and Wasabi hadn't acted too much different from the last, second before last, timeline. Everyone was less careful to spare our feelings this time, probably because Tadashi wasn't as vulnerable.

Everything was great.

Everything is great. So I decided it was time to make a leap.

I run my thumb over the case in my pocket. It's time. It's been two and a half years since we started dating, but for me, it's been even longer. It's been a little over five months since the first time I went back in time. eight months since Tadashi died. Seven months and two weeks exactly. But that's irrelevant now. Tadashi is sitting beside me in the courtyard of the robotics lab, reading a magazine on his lap and chewing on a pbnj. He's wearing a bright pink flower crown on his head instead of his cap, abandoned on the far side of the picnic blanket. He's also wearing my shirt, the one with the orbs in a circle. He never gave it back and I'm not about to ask for it. He's also not wearing his trademarked cardigan- I am. It fits.

I'm extremely nervous. Is it ok to be extremely nervous? Yeah, of course it's fine. Right? Right.

He wouldn't say no, would he? Would he say yes out of nervousness? I look around. The coast is clear. There's nothing but the lime green grass and various bushes and trees. There might be the occasional stranger walking around but it's not like they're paying attention to us. Everyone's either in the lab or not here.

Good, I want to do this right.

But not yet. Not out of the blue. Man, I should've planned this more..!

"What are you staring at me for?"

I startle at the sound of Tadashi's voice. He's looking at me.

"Just thinking about how beautiful you are." And he is. Everything about him makes my heart stop, and then beat faster. His genuine personality, his brown eyes, his bright smile, his infectious laugh, everything.

Tadashi's eyebrows furrow and he scratches at where the hair on his eyebrow burnt off.

"Don't scratch at it..!" I chastise before I can stop myself.

He puts his hand down. "What? It itches!"

"Ignore it, dummy!" I fake a hurt sound when he hits me with his magazine. "Who reads magazines, anyway? Dork."

"I'll have you know that this is a very interesting read." He raises his chin at me.

"Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?"

"And I'm the dork?"

"Yeah, I'm the charming one, remember?" I remind him. "Can't be the dork and the charming one."

"So you don't find me charming?" He pouts. _God, he's cute._

"Captivating _and_ gorgeous? You have a lot going for you, let me have this."

He laughs, that sweet, deep, irresistible laugh. "You have a lot going for you too. You're just as sweet as you look."

"Is that stereotyping or a flirt?" I bite my lip, giving him puppy dog eyes.

"Take your guess."

"I'll go with flirt." I laugh.

"And that too."

"What?"

"Your laugh. Your voice is like dark chocolate."

I widen my eyes as look at him. "Wow…that's the best thing anyone's ever said to me."

"Seriously?"

"You don't have any idea how much I love dark chocolate." I say. "Or maybe you should, seeing as I stare into your eyes all day."

He grins. "Oh, you're such a _dork_!" He waves a hand flippantly.

"I mean, if you want, you could very well wake up to this voice everyday for the rest of your life."

We keep going back and forth for the remainder of the date. It's just when we are finished packing up that I realize I _forgot to propose, my dumbass!_

I turn my head and watch Tadashi's back as he picks his satchel off the ground. I adjust the picnic blanket in my arm and the basket in my hand. He's still wearing the flower crown and from this direction I can quite clearly see his scar. It almost matches.

I turn around fully and walk up to him, wrapping my arms over his waist. He startles but relaxes just as quickly.

"What's up?" He looks at me from the corner of his eye as I put my chin on his shoulder.

"I love you…" I kiss his neck.

"I love you too."

"No I," I pull back. I'm gonna do this. "Look at me for a second."

He turns around and gives me a questioning look. A soft breeze moves the flowers in his pitch black, short hair. The sun shines on his pale skin, lighting it up a golden tint. I place the picnic basket at my side and hold both of Tadashi's hands in mine. "I mean it, you're the most important person in my life and if I were to choose _anyone_ to spend the rest of my life with, it would be you."

His eyes fill with surprise, and at the same time wonder. "Tyrone…"

"Tadashi, I-


	9. Incredible

trigger warning for badly written depression, ptsd, short panic attack, and thoughts of hopelessness.

Fam and or homies are important, my guys

* * *

"-can't imag…" I trail.

What…?

My vision clears- _when did it blur?_ \- and I see him, Tadashi, sleeping right beside me, monolid eyes closed with short, black eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones, his scarless pale cheek pressed into the back of his hand shaded by the moonlight coming from the window in front of his bed. _I'm here again, the seventh day..._

Before I can even register what that means, a large headache hits my temples _hard_. I close my eyes tight, blacking out the view before me, and bring my hands up to my face, rubbing the pads of my thumbs on my temples.

 _Fuck, it hurts..!_

Tadashi squirms on the bed beside me, waking up. "Mn…?" He mumbles, voice rough with sleep. "Are you ok?"

I open my eyes and _really_ look at him. His eyes are still closed, flat top lips slightly parted to speak, tall, strong nose wrinkling then relaxing. This is real. I'm seriously back here again.

My stomach twisted and I curled in on myself, squeezing my eyes shut again and blowing out my cheeks, face contorting.

"Mn?" Tadashi's voice is more awake and filled with concern, but I can't see his face. I feel like if I move even the slightest bit I'm going to throw up.

Nausea clogs up my throat and head but that's not the only thing I feel coming up and I snap my eyes open.

I rush out of the bed, out of the room, into pure darkness with Tadashi calling after me, following me. I'm quick to find the bathroom and heave over the toilet with Tadashi outside the door, calling my name softly.

After a minute or two of just pure vomiting, nausea claws at my brain again and I lean with my arm across the toilet seat. I clean myself up, too exhausted to be embarrassed, and tell Tadashi to come in. He rushes to my side like a concerned dog.

 **.**

The morning was different from all the other times, but for different reasons. Cass was told what happened and both her and Tadashi cradled me like an infant. I felt awful, both physically and emotionally. I hated that I caused trouble for them and that they had to take care of me, but I also couldn't help feeling grateful to have people like them worrying about me. Even Hiro was giving me worried looks. But then again, it could just be that he was too tired to be angry at me for waking him up so early.

Which begs the question: What the _fuck_ am I doing here?

One minute I'm proposing and the next I'm throwing up in my boyfriend's bathroom! What the heck happened?

I hurry to my lab for the first time in months. I fling the door open, not even bothering to flinch at the loud boom of the door slamming into the wall behind it. _There it is._ The portal stood still on its metallic foundation, blue and purple swirl condescendingly. _Mocking me._

I have the sudden urge to break it, but I will the thought down, thinking logically. _Don't break it, don't break it, you need it to work to survive the-_

 **.**

I didn't break it. I couldn't even look at Fredrick anymore. I walked in long steps to the stand holding the many connected plugs and turned off the plug extension. I didn't feel any better when the light died out inside the portals metal rim.

I stayed outside the arcade this time, feeling too light headed with all the noise inside. My ears were ringing and my head was pounding. It was all too much. Frederick has me for a loop. I'm _in_ a loop. But why this day? What's so important about _this_ day? It's just a regular Saturday, I think. Right?

Did I mess up? Did I not make Fredrick right in the first place? Am I a failure? I must be, seeing as what is happening now. I was _so close._ Everything was perfect..!

I sigh and sniff cold air up my nostrils, rubbing my chest through my shirt with my palm. I stared, dazed, straight at the building across from where I sat on the sidewalk outside the arcade. It's an electronic store, filled with computers and TV's that shine through the windows whenever a car blows passed. The cold air is comforting. It's not even humid outside but my palms are sweating and it feels just like the night I woke up three timelines ago. It's awful, and won't go away.

I ignore the burning in my throat for the doubts regarding Fredrick swimming through my mind. Maybe I deserve this? For messing with fate? For saving a dead man? If I had just gone to the showcase the first time, would this have happened? Fredrick wouldn't have been made, Tadashi could've been alive, Hiro wouldn't have had to go to the recession that he _didn't_ go to in the first place. I wouldn't feel like my body was on fire. My arm wouldn't prickle with imaginary heat.

I reach into my pocket and feel the case still inside. After all this time, It's still with me. But it's no longer comforting. All it does is remind me that a couple of hours ago, whatever was inside could have been on Tadashi's finger right now. Tadashi, who has stayed by me for years, lived with me just because I asked. Tadashi, who loves me unconditionally, who I wished I hadn't bothered so much and at the same time want to be here to put his arms around me and tell me it's ok. Tadashi, the man who died.

I sniff snot back up my suddenly runny nose as something slithers around my shoulders and presses against my back.

"You're so cold..!" Tadashi mumbled close to my ear, strong square jaw on my shoulder with his arms crossed over my chest.

"Am I?" I ask, too weak to even cover up the tremble in my voice. My throat still burns and my eyes are starting to take notes. Now that he brought it to my attention, though, I do feel a bit cooler than before.

"Yeah. You want to tell me what's wrong?"

Another car shoots by. I look up at the sky, laying my head on his shoulder. The sunset is a peach orange moving into pink and then a bright purple smoothing into a sparkling navy blue.

 _Huh, we don't usually get stars in the city…_

"I'll take that as a no." The angel in my ear breathes, kissing my shoulder once, twice, through my shirt.

"Sorry…." I close my eyes, clearing my throat so my voice isn't just a broken scratch, then say it again.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm just glad you didn't throw up in my bed."

I chuckle weakly and pull my head up. He doesn't let go.

"But no, if you feel sick you shouldn't've felt like you had to come." Tadashi says.

"I know. It went away for awhile, until I got here and the flashing lights and…" I say and he nods. "Thanks, though. For coming out for me…"

"Of course," he says it like it couldn't have been any other way. I guess he's right, though. He wouldn't be Tadashi if he didn't.

We spend minutes in silence, only the sounds of the arcade and traffic around us. After awhile he starts to move back, unlocking his arms around me and I hear the sound of clothes shifting. I'm guessing he's stretching. A few seconds later, long lanky arms wrap around my collarbone.

"Fred, what are you doing?"

"Comforting you." I turn my head to look at him. His cheek is pressed to my back, eyes closed and a droopy smile on his face. "My hugs will give you strength."

A smile stretches across my face. The dread from before doesn't completely go away, but it does dull substantially. "...Gogo's hugs are better."

"Mine are way more powerful than her's," his dark eyebrows knit together.

I'm knocked forward by a sudden force. Fred grunts like his soul has left his body, all his breath forced out of his ribs.

"That's funny." Says Gogo's sarcastic yet smooth voice.

"Get off me!"

"Oh please, I don't weigh that much."

I scoff. "Girl, you have more muscle than Wasabi, get off."

"Nah, I'm alright." I look to see her stretching out in a yawn, forcing me to bend over even more as she pushes us back.

"You comfortable back there?" I ask.

"Very."

"Can I have my boyfriend back?" Tadashi asks, amusement in his voice. I can imagine the grin on his face.

"Nah, he's mine now. Go home, loser."

I laugh. "Welp, you heard her!" I hear Tadashi gasp dramatically and laugh again, my heart filling with glee. "No, but, yeah, if I have back problems for the rest of my life it's gonna be your-" _the fires,_ "-fault."

"Yeah, listen to him!" Fred adds, taking me from my thoughts before they could even begin.

"He means you too, idiot." She says flatly.

"Please, mother-dearest?" I beg.

"That's better." And the weight is literally lifted off my shoulders.

 **.**

"Speaking of, anyone else notice that we look like a teen health book from 1994?" I ask as Tadashi, no, _C.C,_ fumes silently beside me. It's finally dark out and we're about to call it a night, but we're still sitting on these stairs outside the park. My butt is starting to hurt. "Trying to cram in as many different races as they can to seem inclusive."

"Such a specific year too." Gogo mumbles after her laugh, which was really just a silent smirk.

"But aren't I right?"

"Except the Japanese Americans outnumber the European Americans." Fred points out.

"We rule San Fransokyo," Hiro says, proudly.

"This is our turf. Don't like it, go to Chinatown." Gogo jokes in a fierce tone.

"Uhh, I didn't say I didn't like it." I say in a high voice as I wrap my arm tighter around Tadashi. "Honestly, if Honey hadn't of told me, I'd never would have known she was Latino."

"Should I have worn a pancho everyday and waved a flag?" She jokes. Hiro looks surprised, but only for a quick second.

"I didn't mean anything by it, I'm just saying that I hadn't really thought about it until it was mentioned."

"The polite version of saying "you don't look Mexican"." Gogo remarks.

"White guy trademark." Wasabi says.

"Hey, hey," I raise my hands in fake surrender. "I'll have you know that according to _Ancestry_ dot com I am 25 percent African American."

They burst out in a laugh.

I laugh."But seriously, my mom's biracial, you know?"

"Oh,"Gogo says, eyebrows raising in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah!" I reach between me and Tadashi into my pants pocket and take out my phone.

My heart starts beating hard enough to feel it in my eardrums. I'm _nervous_. I don't usually talk about my mom. Like, ever. Fred and Tadashi have seen her before, Fred from school and Tadashi from the pictures in my house. I try not to look at them. Same reason why I don't like hospitals. But I never deleted her pictures off my phone. Never. I just don't tap on that album. Until now, of course.

"Here…" I tap on the screen, scrolling through images of my brothers and cousins and I. At the very bottom is one of my mom, dark brown skin and long ash brown hair. Her eyes are just as wide as mine, but rounder and brown, like Chase's. We have the same head shape, though my face is longer and more masculine. Sharp chins and round, puffy cheeks. Her lips are thin and pressed against her teeth in a wide grin.

I point the phone in everyone's direction. They close in on me and Tadashi, blocking us in. They murmur appreciatively.

"Wow, you look just like her." Gogo says, arms crossed and leaning towards the screen, eyeing the photo.

"She's biracial? With what?" Wasabi asks curiously, hands on his waist. He towered over everyone else with Honey right beside him.

"She's black and white." I reply, and before anyone could ask I quickly add, "I'm pretty sure she gets her dark skin from my grandma, but I've only seen her once when I was a kid, and that was just an old picture. I never got to know her." I pull my phone back and look at the picture again. Tadashi puts his chin on my shoulder.

"She's beautiful," Tadashi said. I smile.

"Where do you think-" Tadashi frowns, knowing what's next. "- I got it from!" I grin at him cheekily as the others roar, particularly Fred.

Tadashi rolls his eyes.

I shoot him finger guns.

 **.**

I don't want to be here, but I walk into my house anyway. The pictures laugh at me in their frames as I walk up the stairs. The vanilla walls are licked by red flames as I progress down the hall to my room, second door to the right. I twist the smoldering hot handle and swing the door open, walking inside and closing it before the fire could reach inside. I fall back and bounce on my bed, the same way the gold bubble did outside the exhibit hall.

I lay there, numb to the nauseating scent of smoke burning my nostrils and choking me. It's completely dark until a faint but growing orange light glows in the ceiling right above my head. It brightens, and spreads, takes up the whole room. It encloses on me, licking my arm with heat. _DontbreathedontdiedontbreathedontdiefirefireFIRE._

I cough myself to sleep.

 **.**

 _Tadashi's going to die._ I think the next morning after I wake up, sweating all over myself. I get up, turn on the air conditioning, and get back in bed. _He's gonna die and it's gonna be all my fault. Because I was petty. Couldn't leave well enough alone. And now I'm going to have to watch him die twice, because I never have to go get parts ever again._

 _Cass will cry and Hiro won't go to the recession-_ HirowontgototherecessionHirowontgotothe- _and I'll be the cause of it. I'll have to live with the fact that I was there and didn't save him. I tried,_ God, _I_ tried. _But it's not enough. Nothing's enough. They'll all blame me. They'll look at me behind my back and blame me. They won't ever say anything aloud. Gogo won't stare at me the same ever again. She'll always have that disapproving look in her eye, even if she doesn't mean to._

I turn over onto my side, lifting my clasped hands under my head. _And I'll hate myself too. For letting go of him. For not trying as hard as I could. For not reliving these next three months over and over again until Tadashi's alive and unscarred and we get passed it. For being weak, cause let's face it, I am. I'm weak to him and myself. I can't even control my brain, how am I going to make a fully functioning time machine? Even back then, when mom di-...I couldn't even go into the hospital. Couldn't force myself through the door for days. I didn't speak to anyone for_ three whole years. _What's wrong with me? How did Fred put up with me? How did_ Tadashi _put up with me?_

 _"I'm not giving up on you,"_ the memory of Tadashi's voice repeats. _The first time he told me that, I was about to walk up on stage at the showcase, my very first year. The year I got into SFIT. It was because of him, because of his comfort that I made it this far._

 _And I'm just gonna throw him away? Let him die? Bullshit!_

I sit up in my bed, get up, and rush to put some clothes on. _No way am I letting him die. No way. Never again. He's_ mine, _fuck, he's..he's mine._

 _Tadashi Hamada is mine._

 _Screw fate. Screw death. He didn't give up on me, so I won't give up on myself. I'm going to fix that stupid fucking machine and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with Tadashi by my side._

I tug down my v-neck and grab my keys.

.

It's Gogo's birthday again and just as every other time I give everyone their presents. This time though, I have Tadashi sitting in my lap as I coddle him. He protested at first but gave up without much cooing. I hold him close to me by his waist, planting soft kisses to his nape.

Hiro walks away at some point but I don't get up. I hadn't even given gifts out yet so I'm sure he's fine wherever he went. Fred teases us with kissy noises but I just flip him off and continue to cuddle Tadashi, to which he laughs. I don't say anything but Honey still mentions how she's never watched Henrik Vase. I fake a gasp with everyone else. They all go on their own way, making comments back and forth. I don't pay them attention, just breathe in the scent of pineapple shampoo and the admittedly musty smell of Tadashi's unwashed cardigan. I'm not inviting Honey to my house, but knowing how loops go she'll probably come over anyway.

"Can I get up now?" Tadashi asks, turning his head around to look at me with one eye.

"No." And that was the end of that.

Another minute and Mama Cass appears. "Are you feeling better?" She asks.

I nod, too caught up burying myself in Tadashi's nape.

"Are you sure? I have some medicine _in the back if you need it."_

It takes me a moment to understand what she was talking about. "...Oh! Yeah, actually, I would like some of that medicine." I unwrap my arms from around Tadashi's waist and he moves into the chair beside me as I get up and follow Mama Cass to the back.

 **.**

We go to school and I stay with Tadashi just to spend time with him. I get some texts from Fred that made me mildly curious, since it never happened in the other loops, but then as I read it my heart swells.

 _Hey, I know I'm kinda late but I couldn't find the right time to say it. Big props for talking about your mom yesterday, dude! I'm proud of you!❤❤❤😄_

I smile down at the text as I reread it. Of course Fred would be the first to notice how big a feat that was for me. He was there to see _it_ first hand, up until I left, and even after we met again a couple years back.

I hated talking about it, what happened, and the year I spent with Kachi and Chase didn't help any. They completely avoided the subject because they saw how awful I felt about it. They were there for me, and frankly, I miss them. We didn't talk much, but when we did it was always fun. Kachi travels around the universe so it's hard to find where he is- luckily he texts back- and Chase is so caught up in his spouse and son that he never comes over. When we do get together, around the holidays or when we just need a break, we usually sit in comfortable silences, talk about politics, new books, movies, who's paying for our check at O'Ryans, stuff like that. Like I said before, we rarely see each other much and we aren't that close, but we enjoy each other when we can.

 _I should text them._

 **.**

By the evening, my brothers and I have a for-sure plan to meet up tomorrow. Kachi suggested it, saying he was just coming back from Haiti and could use some familiar surroundings. Chase said that he could make the drive here since it's only an hour from where he's vacationing for this week. Apparently it's fall break, which I didn't even know. It was very convenient for all of us. I gotta drive thirty minutes to the park we're all meeting up at, and Kachi's coming home with me. Chase will pick him up at the airport and they'll drive from there.

 _I'm honestly really excited?_ I text to Fred.

 _It makes sense, you haven't seen them in months, amirite,_ He sends back.

Technically he's right, in this timeline and in the last, but I've gotten used to seeing them more often because of the Fredrick mess. This has actually been the most I've seen of them in four years. Is that bad?

 _Yeah, I guess so._

The sound of ruffling and the scraping of wood on wood caused me to look up. Tadashi stood from his chair.

"Where are you going?" I ask as he starts walking toward the counter of the cafe, my voice a little too loud in the room. There's not too many people here and the people who are here are mostly elderly. We're right in the middle of the cafe so we sorta draw more attention than others.

"Use the bathroom." He answers and keeps walking. I resist the urge to call out for him to _wait_. But then, why would I need to do that?

 _Becauseyoureweakbecauseyoureweak._

I shake my head and pull my hood up.

.

The drive the next morning is peaceful but I feel all bubbly. I was actually able to sleep last night and it was _heaven_ , cause it really felt like I wouldn't be able to anymore. I was so excited for today that I didn't even get the chance to think about what's been going on. Of course, when I get there I'm gonna have to let it all out. Not everything, Fredrick would freak anyone out, but enough to get the point across.

I grip the wheel and grin, accelerating down the vacant road, watching the trees blur into green around me. The sky is a bit cloudy but bright blue is breaking through the clouds.

It's cleared up by the time I get there. I stand outside my car, taking it all in. The park before me is the size of a golf course, or I assume it's about the same size, I've never actually been to one. There are three small steps with pearl white railings on its sides leading up into flat lime green land, bushes and full-grown trees surrounding the railings and circling around the parking lot. The air smells of dew and newly cut grass.

 _Which is actually kinda awful,_ I think as I sneeze. I shake myself off, clear my head, and take a step up onto the sidewalk. A duck quacks somewhere far off, followed by another, as I walk up the stairs and onto the soft, mushy grass. A cold breeze lightly washes over my face and I pull my jacket over myself a bit more.

The park goes on for miles, but I easily spot my brothers a little ways away, sitting on a picnic blanket next to a bird bath. They have their guitars. _Typical_ , I roll my eyes, amused.

Chase is the middle brother but he looks the oldest. He has a jaw that could rival a comic book hero in how square it is. He's a couple shades darker than Kachi and I, a nice golden glow and blessed honey brown eyes he got from my mom. His eyes aren't as wide as the rest of ours, though. They're thin and slanted, but only because he's squinting and trying to look hot. He has long, thick, black eyelashes that don't run in the family and a very big build, despite being the same height as me. His shoulders are broad as hell. If you didn't know he was a singer than you'd think he was a bodybuilder. His nose is long and refined, also a difference between us. All of our noses are long, with a bulbous tip. Then there's his lips, which is where I stand out, because they're flat like Kachi's and my mom's. Mine came out plumper and I'm guessing it's from my long lost dad, but who knows?

Kachi and me are more believable as siblings. We both have long faces with puffy cheeks and wide eyes, but his are rounder, and green. Our skin is both noticeably white, a good creamy beige, which stuck out when we were younger and with our mom. Kachi's the oldest of all of us, about three years older than Chase. He's shorter than us, 5'8 to our 5'10. Also, his hair is too long and fluffy to be from our mom. Both Chase's and my hair are short and silky, stops right at midneck. His hot-toffee-colored hair is large, all over the place like an anime characters, and stops at his shoulders.

They start playing a tune as I get halfway to them. I'm not sure if they've noticed me yet. They have a little picnic set up, a basket on the far side of the light pink and light blue bunny printed blanket. _Typical_ , I think again, _of Kachi_. He's wearing a large sweater that pours around his body, one of those knitted poncho thingies I don't remember the name of, in mahogany and dark green and all sorts of swirls of colors. If he had a beard and his hair was curlier he'd look like a picture of Jesus. As I finally reach them, Chase starts singing, eyes closed and a peaceful smile on his face.

"And I'll go walking, as far as it takes. And I'll go dancing, 'till the rhythm it brings." They sing. "Goodbye. Good...bye."

" _Hippies_ ," I smile, recognizing the song. _Old Sea Brigade- Better Days._ They don't answer, but I'm sure they heard me cause they have little smiles on their faces. I definitely got my taste in music from them.

"Brother, join us." Chase says after a while of strumming.

"No, no, I can't sing." I sit down at the edge of the blanket. There's not a lot of space, so my knee and Chase's are almost touching as we sit crisscrossed opposite each other.

Kachi grins and looks up at me, emerald eyes brightening. "That's not what we asked, bro."

"Ok, I'll rephrase it. I don't _like_ to sing. Unironically." I add. If Fred were here, he would have put a hand to his heart and gasped. Kachi didn't bat an eye.

"That's fine then. How have you been, Fi-" I glare at him before he can finish. He falters and changes his wording. "Tyrone. How have you been, Tyrone?"

"Eh, I've seen better days, you know?" I shrug and Kachi grins again, even wider this time, at my pun.

He continues to strum the instrumental version of the song in a loop. "You should come adventuring with me soon. It'd be a lot of fun."

"How's your Fredrick going?" Chase asks, lidded eyes peering at me.

"Uh, ha ha." A cold breeze brushes my face and I pull my hood against my neck. "Not at all… that's kinda what I wanted to talk about?" _Oh, here it goes._ "I've been having trouble feeling... _happy_ , lately?" _You better not start crying, Mn. You haven't even said anything yet!_ The thoughts start up again in the back of my mind and I look to my side, turning my attention to the ducklings passing across the open field a couple yards away, near the shade of trees.

Not even a second later I look back at them as their music starts to get more intense.

"And I've seen better days, you know? Take it slow, take it slow, take it slow…" They sing in unison. "Run me to the ground, leave a better scene than what you found…"

They're voices are so tranquil, so harmonious. Both of them have soft voices, but Chase's is smoother and silvery, while Kachi's has higher pitches and is more catchy, more excited. They match well, as usual. But me? My voice is too deep, too hard, to sing a song like that without sounding like some country song artist talking about big green tractors.

But, it gives me motivation to keep talking. I know they're listening. "So me and Tadashi have been getting serious? I mean, _we are_ , like _really_ getting serious. And I've been getting really nervous that something bad's gonna happen. Things haven't been too good for me for awhile and I guess I've been ignoring it for too long, but now I can't-" I stop, take a deep breath. "I don't know what to do."

They continue, hands unfaltering. "Take me down easily. It's more than I know. It's more than I see." they sing. "Time stays still for awhile. Running empty, running wild…"

My heart stops midway through the lyrics, then I breathe in deep and keep breathing. My heart's pounding, cause there's no way they would know but c _ould they know? It's impossible, but the song_. I shake my head. It's just a song.

"I've been having a hard time sleeping. I mean, even before this, and I'm sure I know why but it's...my thoughts run rampant. I've always been anxious but it's never been like this."

"I've seen better days you know," They keep going, ignoring me. Or not so ignoring me. Maybe they sensed something was wrong when I texted them? And they chose just this song to help me? But what is it supposed to help? It's not giving me any advice. "Leave a better scene than what you found."

 _Leave a better scene than what you found._

 _Leave a better scene than what you found._

 _Type in the year of necessity._

I gasp. And I keep gasping. I can't get air into my lungs and my heart is clenching in my chest. My brothers came to an abrupt stop and were around me, Chase holding me as tears washed down my face and I cough and shake, Kachi rubbing my back and saying something softly.

 **.**

It took some time but I finally got the dizziness to go away, as well as the chills. Chase and Kachi moved back to where they sat and Kachi gave me a Turkey sandwich out of the basket.

"Thanks," I mumble roughly, throat sore. He nods and smiles ruefully.

"Are you sure you wanna talk about it?" Chase asks a few minutes later.

"I...yeah? But not right now." I try to get my breathing steady. It still sounds too harsh. I want a change in conversation. Now. "Tell me about Canba." Canba, his child. His small, ruthless child. He's precious, but a rebel.

Chase tells me all about him, as well as his husband. He goes on for minutes on end and for some reason the seconds run long.

"See, you don't know _anything_ until you have a child." He finally reached an ending. "Speaking of, how's you and that Tadashi guy going? Said it was getting serious." He wiggles his thin eyebrows.

I smile. "Actually, my ignorance might soon come to an end," I raise a eyebrow and my juicebox, Kachi's specialty, in toast.

Both Chase and Kachi's eyebrows rise up. The eyebrow trio. "You're getting married?" Kachi exclaims, shocked.

"I'm hoping so," I smile crookedly. Kachi starts making some high pitched squeal that sounds like a coffee maker going off.

Chase talks over him. "So it really _is_ getting serious. Congrats!"

Kachi nods in agreement, still making that loud unending sound, eyebrows knitted together.

"Thanks, let's just hope he says yes."

.

Wow, how do I feel _worse_ than I did before? I was able to talk about most of my problems yesterday with my brothers, but as soon as I tried to get to sleep last night it all came back. Nothing went away.

I wasn't able to talk to them about Fredrick. It was too sensitive a topic. Every time I tried I got this pit in my stomach that just wouldn't go away. I almost threw up again. Kachi kept stopping me, telling me it was ok if I wasn't ready. But _I was_ ready. I really wanted to talk about it, but I was physically incapable of doing it.

I made it back home with Kachi in one piece. He went straight to his room, same as I. I woke up late today because of the fact that I didn't get any sleep until three o'clock and that was out of exhaustion. I was so tempted to stay in bed, but the thought of being with Tadashi got me right up. I don't care how many times we've went on this date. It's always something new with him. Always the best part of my week. Kachi said goodbye as I left.

The day passes by really quickly. The conversations stayed the same, we still shopped and I still flirted and those teenagers still giggled at us. Everything was repeating itself, unless I changed it. I bought him the clothes we tried on, one little change to affect the future. Unless it really didn't. Nothing I do stops anything from happening. Everyone remembers it anyway. Nothing _really_ changes.

 _-Just like Tadashi's-_

But, I invite Tadashi over anyway, and he agrees. Again.

 _"We gotta talk about you and all this skinship." Tadashi said while laying on his stomach-again- after we finished watching Reality Shifts-again- and he took his shower and put on my clothes- **again** \- and I slapped his rear._

 _"Is it really skinship if you've been wearing clothes over yourself this whole time?"_

 _"We also need to talk about all this flirting."_

And so on. And now it's the middle of the night, nearing twelve o'clock. Kachi's out somewhere and Tadashi's sleeping peacefully in my arms with his back to my chest. Even like this I couldn't stop thinking about earlier-

 _He doesn't want you. Stop touching him. He pulled away for a reason._

 _Of course he wouldn't yell at you, he's too nice to do that._ Well that's just not true- _yes it is. Yes it is. He won't love you anymore if you keep acting like this. Being all depressed. What's your problem anyway? What's my problem? What's wrong with me? Why can't I save him? Why can't anything go right? His eye, his cheek, his neck, his arm, everything._

 _He said you're being too touchy. He doesn't want you-_

 _He's gonna die and it's gonna be all my fault._

 _Allyourfaultallyourfault-_

"Fuck…" I whisper into the darkness. _This is getting out of hand._

I can't sleep, even though I'm dead tired. This goes on for hours, doubts, and a quick glance at my phone reads in bright white letters that it's-

.

-one AM.

"You're still awake?"

I flinch at the sound of Tadashi's more alert voice, deep with sleepiness. "Uh..yeah, I've been having a hard time sleeping for awhile now…" I admit in a whisper.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He waits patiently for me to respond, and when I don't he continues. "Are you ok…?"

He twists his head around to look at me but I hide behind his back. I don't want to be seen.

 _He just wants to be nice. Even though you don't deserve it._

 _You're a failure-_

 _You're gonna kill him-_

"Would you believe me if I said I am from a alternate reality?" I feel like I'm gonna throw up again. My heart is racing with just that simple question, despite how stupid I know it sounds.

Tadashi doesn't say anything, his head turned back towards the window. I pull myself back up and lay my forehead on his neck. It's a few seconds too long till he speaks. "What..?" He asks, amusedly, tiredly.

I sigh, trying to will away the sudden burning yet wet sensation in my eyes by squeezing them shut. I press my head harder into his nape and hold him tighter. "What if I told you...that I'm not the Tyrone you know... and that...I came back after seeing you die..."

Tadashi tenses up, then relaxes. His breath hitches and returns back to normal in only a second. Is he remembering something? From the future?

A long, hesitant hand covers the top of mine, gently, like I'd break with just the slightest touch. It wasn't too far off. "If you...were serious? I'd believe you..." Tadashi turns around and I let him get a good look at me in the little bit of moonlight coming in through the window behind him.

His eyebrows furrow and his eyes squint as he looks into mine- my forehead, my mouth, my nose, my tears- and his lips parted in a frown, as if wanting to say something. Like he's never going to see me again. Or maybe that's my imagination. Maybe he knows I've been lying this whole time and that I'm just now telling the truth. Lying to him, for seven months. Was it seven months? Half a year?

But Tadashi doesn't say anything. He doesn't question me, just caresses my cheek in his hand, before he pulls me into a hug.

"I hate this house. I don't want to be in here anymore." I sob into his shoulder.

His fingers curl through my hair, reassuring me. He pats my back at the same time. "I know, I'm sorry. Why don't you leave?"

"Where would i go? I can't just up and buy a new house."

"You could live with one of us for awhile. Maybe Fred? He'd let you, right?"

I sniff and in a broken voice say, "i don't want to bother anyone."

Tadashi shakes his head, or tries to with my head in his shoulder like this. "You wouldn't bother me. Or anyone. You'd never be a bother, Tyrone, for taking care of yourself."

"I," my voice trembles and I gulp, trying to gain _**some**_ kind of dignity. "I thought I was getting better?" I ask, as if he would know. He nods, meaning for me to go on. "I talked to my brothers yesterday, thinking that would help, but it didn't. It made things worse. And on Sunday, I was able to talk about mom so casually, it didn't even bother me. Until I got back to **this** house."

"It'll get better.." He soothes, voice soft and definitely awake.

"Will it?"

"It always does." He holds me tight and doesn't let go all night. When I wake up at twelve In the afternoon the next morning, his arms are still around me.

 **.**

When I walk into my lab later that day, I'm met with a mix of blue and purple flowing swiftly in a circle, right before the back window of the room, stuck between the large metal rims. the wires atop my stand are still unplugged when I look over at them.

 _"Type in the year of necessity_." It says.

I sigh, "Fucking incredible…"

.

Thanks to screwed up timelines, the confidence that flowed through my veins was enough to keep my real anxiety down. It didn't feel real, running to the exhibit hall with a ticking time clock on my shoulders. It was somehow different from last time. I could think clearer then than I could all week.

And before I knew it, it was over. I was in the hospital bed again and my body hurt all over, but I got up and forced myself to walk. I knew Tadashi's hospital room by heart now. It was the same every time. No one stopped me. No one was around, until I got to Tadashi's room and Hiro tried to stop me. He moved with little resistance when I put my hand on his shoulder and guided him to the side. Each step felt like a weight. Each soft pat of my bare feet on the cold floor driving me deeper into whatever abyss I dug myself into. My heart was racing.

As soon as I laid eyes on him, it stopped. And it wouldn't start back up. I started panting and clutched my hand over my heart, breathing in deeply, quickly, before I couldn't anymore. I couldn't feel it, why couldn't I feel it? Hiro came up beside me, maybe, before I landed on my knees on the hard ground.

 _You did this._

 _It was all your fault._

 _You were late. Again._

Hiro called for someone, I think, before I passed out.

 **.**

"You're going to be ok. You didn't sustain any long term injuries, aside from some burn scars."

I nod tiredly down at the white sheets over my legs, ignoring Chase. I've heard it all before.

"Tadashi's ok, he's just resting."

I look up at Kachi, looking at me with a forlorn expression from the chair at the end of the bed, sitting right next to Chase. I've heard that too.

I wonder how i must look to them. The problem child. Running into a burning building? Who made you a hero? And great job saving half of your boyfriend. You couldn't even do **that** right.

I wonder how I must look to them. Red-rimmed grey eyes, a plain, sweat-soaked face, stuck in bed like a vegetable cause I'm a danger to myself.

Chase and Kachi never did anything like this. Got stuck in a hospital, pretending to be some Hero. I even took Chase away from his family, on his vacation week, of course. All I do is bother everyone. My brothers, Tadashi, cass. Everyone. It'd be better if I didn't exist-

A little voice in the back of my head was telling me it wasn't true, that I was overreacting and that I'm the only reason that Tadashi's alive but at the same time- I'm greedy. I couldn't have left well enough alone the first time. I just wanted to make Tadashi happy but maybe this, no, this **definitely** wasn't the way to go. I made a mistake, everyone makes those, but it's getting harder every time to see the bright side. Tadashi's alive, but how many times will i have to save him? When will the chip choke him?

"Tyrone…" Kachi's voice is soft. Even softer than his natural voice. Like he's talking to a child, a spooked horse. "I know it doesn't look like it now, but things will get better."

"When?" I ask, finally. I search his emerald eyes desperately. He's pitying me. "When will it get better?"

"It could be anytime. Weeks, months. However long it takes to come to terms with yourself." Kachi says with no hesitancy, completely confident, Sure.

"Why can't it be now?" I listen to my voice crack. I don't even have the energy to fix it. "Why couldn't it have been fixed last week? Or months before that?" I ask, like they'd have the answer.

They're quiet, until Chase speaks up- "This has been happening for months? You hadn't told us…"

"I knew I should've visited earlier!" Kachi looks to Chase, pain on his childish features. "I was feeling off ever since I left Hokkaido half a year ago!"

Half a year ago?

"Yeah, I should've checked up on you way before this." Chase nods and looks at Kachi with the same amount of regret that he has. "We both should have."

"No, No this isn't your fault." I say. They shouldn't be blaming themselves for my problems.

"But we know what you go through. We should've been here for you. Or at the very least not thousands of miles away." Chase says, eyes soft with regret.

"We're sorry, little brother." Kachi apologizes.

"We don't want to ever lose you. You're important to us," Chase assures. "and everyone else around you."

Oh..

"We're sorry we weren't there for you when you needed us." Kachi puts his hand on the bed, beside my right foot.

No...No it's not your fault. It had nothing to do with you. I was the one who chose to run into the burning building. I was the one who did this to myself. I just wanted to save him! He means so much to so many people, not just me. He...people Look up to him- oh…

Oh.

 _I finally get it, I think._

"Thank you...a lot." Tears fill my eyes once again and I let them loose, willingly. I haven't cried this much in front of my brothers in years. Since the first time I landed in this hospital from after mom died. "Thanks. Really. I-" I sob and they come up beside me and hug me. It's so nice that I cry more.

The fear isn't completely gone, no. Not even remotely. Actually, I think I'm more scared now than I have been before. But...it seems a little more tolerable. At least for the moment. It's something I'll have to work on, I guess.

"Ssh," Kachi runs his hand through my hair, soothingly. My head is crushed between the two of their chests, mostly Kachi's long giraffe neck, though _I'm_ sure he'd say I'm the one with the giraffe neck. "It's ok, we know."

"We're here now."

 **.**

"Have you thought about seeing someone? Taking medicine?" Chase asks a few minutes later.

I shake my head. "What's the point?" _If I'm not going to be in this timeline for all that long._

"The point is _getting better_ , dummy." Kachi puts his hands on his hips and puckers his lips in admonishment. It doesn't work though, never does. He's just too cute.

"Yeah," I sigh and scratch the sudden itch behind my ear. "I know…"

"You should really consider it." Chase says seriously, brown eyes hardened and honest. He pats the leg he's sitting beside, on the edge of the hospital bed. His body is facing towards the window, while Kachi, who's sitting on the other side next to my other leg, is facing me. He's still wearing that pancho thing. Chase is wearing his trademark white button up and some dark jeans. Both of their hair is a mess, though Kachi's is messier than normal. "I know what it's like. I didn't go through it personally for myself but Shrade did and I was with him every step of the way. It's not that bad." Shrade, his husband.

"He did?" It's not that much of a surprise. From what I knew about my brother in law, he's been through some difficult stuff. I don't know all of it, but apparently his parents died when he was, like, nine. Both of them. I didn't even know my dad, but I knew my mom well enough. She took care of me since infancy. Her death _destroyed_ me. I couldn't imagine what that would be like at nine years old. "Did it work? I mean, does he..?"

"He's come to terms with it, yes, but it still hurts." He makes an apologetic face. "Sorry…"

"No, that's fine. That's...good." I shuffle to pull down my hospital gown down more and resituate the pillows I'm sitting against. It's still something I don't want to do until everything is fixed, but when it is, I'm definitely getting some help. I still don't know how to fix Frederick, or if it can be fixed. Maybe I'll have to throw it into a few fires set up across the world someplace. Kachi would call it an adventure. "I'll think about it."

Chase nods, biting his bottom lip and looking down at his feet.

"Oh!" Kachi suddenly screams, scaring Chase and me both, and lifts his knee up and starts pulling up his pant leg. "This is the perfect time to bring this up!"

Before I can question what he's doing I see this huge ugly green purple shaped mark right above Kachi's ankle that definitely wasn't there in the other timelines. "When I was walking through one of the South American jungles, don't know which one," I'd roll my eyes if I weren't so worried and disgusted. "I got bit by this poisonous- venomous?" He looks up to his right, tilting his head for a sec before deciding and continuing. "Venomous snake that gave me all these awful hallucinations that," he somehow changes to some weird Australian sounding accent that would embarrass me if my friends were here. "Whew, they were God awful! I was in the hospital for a full day! Couldn't get me out of it, they said." Now it's kinda British-Irish. "I saw all these weird things and I had paranoia for like a week! It felt like people were following me and I was on the plane and people were looking at me." He drawls. "It was very uncomfortable."

"Maybe it was because of the way you dress." I smirk.

"Huh?" He says in his normal American voice, like he hadn't heard. "No, No, it wasn't anything like that. I'm sure. It was just my imagination after all. But this," he points at the bruise and I watch, transfixed, like it could explode or something any minute. "It felt like I was being bitten over and over again!" He rolls his tight grey jean pant down. "Anyway, it's not as bad as _you_ might feel, but I haven't gone through a jungle in seven months now. Can't do it. So if you feel like you can't go near the school anymore, that's completely ok. You can't force yourself."

"Oh!" Chase exclaims before me.

"That's what that was about?" I say incredulously. "I thought you were just telling a story!"

"Yeah!" Chase agrees and we laugh.

"You went all around the world getting to the point, didn't you?" I laugh.

Kachi, the oldest of us, I must say again, pouts. "All I'm saying is that if you need time to cope then take that time!" He grins again. "Spend some time with your hubby."

I smile at the nickname. I'm really glad I told them. Just referencing him makes it better. He's incredible. Tadashi…"You don't even know his name."

Kachi's eyes widen like a deer in headlights. "Yes I do." He says too quickly.

"Oh really? What's his name?" Chase smirks, turning around completely on the bed.

"T-ta…" He glances at me, eyes wide, searching in my eyes for the answer. I raise my eyebrows. "Ta...Takashi."

Chase bursts out laughing and I shake my head, unimpressed. "No." I say too low to be heard under Chase and his boisterous laughing.

"Well what is it?"

"Tadashi, the love of my life, my husband to be, _your brother in law to be_." I raise my eyebrows at him pointedly.

"Damn," Chase laughs. "I just realized we're all gay and none of our genes are going into this next generation."

"Well, number one, you have a son. A _surrogate_ son. With _our_ genes." I shake my head at him with furrowed eyebrows. "Number two, nay me or Kachi are gay."

"Yeah, I dated _one_ guy." Kachi interrupts.

"And three, I can still have a kid- if me and Tadashi so choose."

"You know I don't want one." Kachi feels the urge to say.

"You're not even a good uncle."

"Excuse me? Canba _loves_ me!"

"He doesn't even know who you are."

"So anyway, back to Ty." Kachi looks at me. "You better get ready. Marriage is a whirlwind. Tell him, Chase."

"Only if you don't love your partner and are not compatible." Chase rolls his eyes, crosses his arms. "I'll have you know that my marriage is amazing and my son is excellent."

Kachi scoffs. "Your son's a demon and it's probably because you don't tell him enough dad jokes."

"My son is an angel and you wouldn't know about any of my dad jokes, now would you? Walking around all over the world instead of spending time with your nephew. I'm great at dad jokes. Tell him, Tyrone."

I tighten my lips to stop my laugh. He looks at me unbelievingly.

"Anyway, tell me about what it's like being married." I change the subject before a fight breaks out. I put my chin in my hand and feign interest with a innocent smile.

"Cute." Chase smiles condescendingly. "Ok, marriage!" He sighs and fixes himself on the bed. He settles so that his back is to the railing at the end of the bed and his feet reach my hips. "Where should I start?"

.

 _"Love is..respect, trustworthiness, honesty..not having to worry because you know they are always beside you, whether it be family, friend, or significant other._  
 _Love is communication, patience, happiness. Love shouldn't be hard_

 _It's not. At least, requited, it's not. You'd do anything for that person, to protect them, and the people they care for. Even if that means giving up a part of yourself just to keep them safe."_

 **.**

It's been a couple of months since me and Mn got out of the hospital. I stayed in a little bit longer, just because of the burns on my face. The entire left side of my face, from eye to chin, was red from third degree burns and I had to stay at the hospital for a month to have skin graft surgery and healing. Mn's arm was burned all the way up his forearm but his healing took less than mine, which was interesting since his burns were worse than mine.

Still, we both got out safe and are completely healed. The skin graft surgery took amazingly for both of us and we're both healed, at least physically. Everything happened so quickly, the surgery, the recovery, the fire..I didn't have time to really process everything until I woke up in my bed for the first time in a month.

Everyone was beside us every step of the way but the _weight_ we carried wasn't anything that anyone but Mn and me could understand. We could have _died_. And Mn, he, he _saved_ _me_. He doesn't talk about it, hates to talk about it. It's been hitting him so hard, he's pretty much become a shell. He doesn't hang out with the guys anymore. Barely goes to SFIT. He only ever talks to me and his brothers now. It's been two months. He always makes sure to tell me what he's feeling, which I'm grateful for. It's always the things I think about but never tell the others. They wouldn't know what to say. Like I said, they didn't get caught in the fire so they wouldn't know.

He's traumatized. Doesn't want to talk to a professional. I went with him to talk about medicine with his doctor and he got some prescription anti-depressants, but they're not working. They just make him numb.

I hate seeing him this way. Even when he says he feels better when he's with me, I can't believe it. He won't even talk to _Fred_ for Pete's sake! I can't stop worrying about him. He's not getting any better. He doesn't want to go anywhere without me unless it's to meet Kachi and Chase, and he always wants to know where I'm going, when I'll be back, if I'll be safe there. It's getting out of hand.

I decided I'm not going to leave his side until he's better. His brothers and I are working towards helping him, despite such little progress we've made.

I just wish that he'll get better soon.

He started making music. It began with Kachi and Chase and him going on family outings, then they started to teach him, and when he'd come home he'd look brighter than I'd see him in days, weeks. He babysits his nephew now. Chase thought it would be good for him. I got a chance to meet the three year old when I came over Mn's house one day. Kachi, who's living with Mn now, was sitting on the floor with his legs spread out and Canba, the baby, in between them, arms lifted in a little dance. He just recently turned three, so he's still a baby, but he was taller than I thought he'd be. And cute.

Still, Mn's healing is going slow. I just wonder how long it'll take. I can't stop thinking about what he said all those months ago- about alternate realities, me _dying_. What was he talking about? Was it dissociation? That had been the start of all this, even before the fire. He had been touchy all week before the showcase. He took every chance to hold my hand or put his arms around me. To flirt. It wasn't _bad_ , per se, but it was different. Mildly uncomfortable.

 _It'll get better._

 _Will it?_

He had said, and now I really wonder about it. It didn't. It got worse. We had an accident, but we _survived_. It's almost like he lost more than the skin off his arm in the fire. Like he lost his sanity. I understand that he saved me and that would cause him to be more protective, but to completely turn away from his friends? It's not like him. Hasn't been since three years ago, since before he met Fred again. _After seeing me die…_

 _An alternate reality…_

 _In an alternate reality, I'm dead…_

 _What if he hadn't gotten to me on time? What if Mn didn't go to the showcase? What if he didn't exist? What if I had died alongside Callaghan?_

 _What if I'm dead?_

 **.**

"So, you ready?" Chase asked before he started strumming to the tune of _Homegrown_ by Haux on his acoustic guitar.

I set the camera atop the picnic basket so that it got my brothers in the frame. They sat perfectly in the middle of the frame, greenery surrounding them in the bright light of the afternoon. There was a shroud of trees behind them, bright green in their reflection of the even brighter blue skies.

The park was pretty empty for midday, but it was a Wednesday after all. People were at work or at school. There was a lone elderly couple sitting on the bench to my far right, and some birds chirping around from place to place. This is the same park from the Wagon Debacle. It's still pretty during this time of day.

Today's the day. Two months and twenty-three days.

"Into the dark, I found by the lake…" Kachi sung.

I willed myself to stay away from Tadashi today. I was surprised by how hard it was. I was even more surprised when Chase told me why it was as hard as it was. This morning, when he came into my house, guitar case in hand, before we could even get out of the house, he tells me that Tadashi _told him_ that I was being possessive.

 _"Well he didn't say "possessive", but I know what he meant."_ he says.

 _"I know that you don't want to see anyone, but you should at least pay attention to your boyfriend's reactions."_ He says. _"Tadashi told me you weren't even talking to Fred, What's with that?"_

 _Has it really been that long since I've talked to them? I hadn't even noticed._

 _"That's the thing! You_ hadn't _noticed! You gotta realize that you can't protect Tadashi all the time. He's his own person and should be respected as one."_

"We were so close, I couldn't bear the weight."

 _I_ am _respecting him? What's wrong with spending time with my boyfriend?_

 _"Nothing! But you could give him a little space. Ty, he's not in constant danger. There's not a knife on every edge."_

 _Well, how do you know? Any day could be our last!_

My last.

 _"So you'd rather be safe with him and miserable than be_ healthy _and with_ all _the people that love you?"_

"Cause you were a shadow, and I left you in the shade,"

 _I'm fine how I am. It's not gonna last much longer, anyway._

Chase's brown eyes went wide in alarm. _"What does that mean?"_

 _Nevermind._

 _"No, Tyrone, what does that mean?"_

 _Silence._

 _"Tyrone? Are you ok? Like, really ok?"_

I know they worry about me, but there's nothing that can be done. There's only one way to stop the loop, unmistakably. There's no other sure way, so I'm going to spend as much time as I can with Tadashi. I know they're only trying to help, and I love them for that...

But it's already too late. I've already made my decision.

"I was still running from all my mistakes."

I grab my guitar, the one I bought about a month ago when I started these lessons, and start to follow Chase's lead.

The camera's rolling. I stare right into the lens as I begin to sing. My voice is nowhere near as perfect as my older brother's. It's rough, too deep, too low, but I go on anyway.

"Homegrown…"

 **.**

 _But obviously I'm alive. He couldn't possibly be thinking what he said was real? That he's from an alternate reality? But then again, how did he know I'd be inside the exhibit hall? How'd he get me just in time to save me?_

 _ **.**_

 _"Homegrown, homegrown…"_

 _ **.**_

 _Was he keeping things from me? Frederick, too. When did he finish it? He didn't have the parts for Frederick the week before he told me it was almost finished. I don't remember the parts even coming in. Or him going to get them. I vaguely remember him saying he would have to get them that Friday when we were on our date, but he was at the showcase on Friday, but then again, was he? Didn't he disappear? Or was he there at all? No, he had to be, he_ saved _me, but I don't remember him being there at all. What? But then again, didn't Mn get the parts on a Monday? That Monday? No, cause he was at the arcade with me, right?_

 _Alternate realities…_

 _Frederick, a machine that is programmed to project all known history, science, mathematics, and every school subject in only two hours. To input information in others minds. To literally relive history like you were there._

 _Relive history…Frederick…project information into people's minds...reprogram…_

I gasp in realization. _Could Fredrick-_

* * *

.

.

.

.

This fic is actually meant to be read on the pdf file i have uploaded to deviant art so you can see the font and emoji's used, but it's all good i guess, if you want to read it here. my username is the same everywhere mostly. Kachi was purposely making accents cause he's weird. Also how Tadashi came to that conclusion was very stupid im surry

hit up my tumblr for art and my devianart for fonts and emojis with this chapter's pdf. Please talk to someone if you're feeling down!

yes this is a songfic (no it isnt)


	10. Asshole

**_When the alarm goes off, if y'all wanna be dramatic, listen to Novo Amor- faux_**

* * *

 _The crowds applauding, the lights are suddenly not as blinding, and my nervousness completely flushes down the drain as I finish my presentation. They're cheering! They love my idea, love Fredrick! This is amazing! My heart is racing, my nervous sweat in the desperate heat of the exhibit hall is disappearing._

 _I walk off the stage to make room for the next presenter and see Tadashi running up to me. I gasp, getting the breath knocked out of me as he throws his arms around me._

" _You did it!" He exclaimed excitedly. His arms move from around my shoulder as he pulls back, cups my face in his palms. "They loved you! You were amazing!"_

 _Before I could further scream in excitement cause I_ know, _isn't this_ incredible, _he pushes his lips against mine. All of a sudden it's like the crowd got louder, cheering us on, but it was most likely my imagination, cause_ wow _, Tadashi's_ kissing me. _It's relatively short and only lasts a few seconds, practically just a hard press of skin on skin, but it feels like the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced. It completely embodies my whole experience here at the showcase. I never want it to stop, but it does. He pulls away, eyes wide and shining, probably because of the lights, and cheeks flushed, but I'm not sure if it's cause of the kiss or because of how hot it is in here. Either way, he looks perfect._

" _Um…" he starts and I stop him with another kiss. He makes a noise of surprise before quickly kissing back and honestly? I'm more nervous kissing him than I was on stage. This was our first kiss. Yeah, we'd been on a couple "dates" but we'd never done anything traditionally considered romantic, unless studying and building robots was an old version of courtship that I didn't know about._

 _Despite neither of us having much practice, it's the feeling that counts. And right now? I'm feeling pretty fucking giddy._

 _Until Fred jumps on me and congratulates me with a wide hug using his entire body, including locking his legs around my waist like a toddler._

* * *

When I wake up this time, it's not desperately hot and I don't need to vomit and I don't have a raging headache. I'm not even sleepy anymore. The moon's still up, Tadashi is laying in the crook of my arm, and Hiro is snoring on his side of the room.

All is well.

I sigh, get comfortable under the sheets, and admire Tadashi's face before I drift off to sleep.

.

I don't dream but I sleep well enough. The regular things happen- Hiro groans when he sees me and his brother cuddling, I tell Mama Cass about the proposal, and we go to the arcade. I'm glad I'm not the least bit affected by the flashing lights and loud _dings_ common to the place. It's always crowded in here. Always kids running around, sticking coins in slots, dancing on multicolored pads. All the games are packed so close together you can barely _breathe._ There's so much humidity in here that no wonder I felt hot last time around. I can feel people's sweat through the air, smell it. Frankly it would be disgusting if we weren't having so much fun. Or we as in everyone else around me. I've gone through this same day so many times that I can't find it in myself to enjoy it anymore. It's the same thing over and over. The same conversation. The same ending.

I'm praying that it's not going to be this time. Still, I have to wait a whole week for it to happen. Thankfully I have patience. Everything feels so much calmer now, for some reason. I'm sure I know why. My consciousness and the things I carry are the only thing that go back in time, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense but I've stopped questioning it. The ring I always carry in my pocket is always there when I wake up in Tadashi's bed, but my clothes are just the same as the first time. _It doesn't make sense_ , I repeat to myself, _but it happens. And I'm glad I didn't take my chemical imbalance with me._

I don't feel that panic from before. The constant terror or depression. There not here, at all. It's like...like when Hiro started crying that day. He was completely ok until his emotions from the timelines before had hit him. Today, it's like the loops from before were changing my emotions, fixing the imbalances. I'm the inverse of Hiro.

"Whew!" Wasabi slumps down on the floor beside me, pressing his back against the dark pink wall I'm currently leaning against. He's sweating.

"Tired?" I ask.

"You have _no idea_. I just beat a twelve year old at _Pop Lock Revolution._ " he breathes out, eyes blown wide before he briefly closes them.

I raise an eyebrow. "You mean _Dance Dance-"_

"Ssh!" He chastises. "They're trying not to copyright anything. I just saw a machine called _Ukulele Savior_."

I grin and nod slowly, looking up and over the clustered field of games and children.

"Where's Tadashi?"

"Went off to play some games. You know. Like you do inside arcades."

Wasabi scoffs and I peer down at his grin. "And you?"

"I'm not good at games. Or anything really."

"Whoa there!" Wasabi's thick, black eyebrows shoot up toward his dreads.

"Wait a minute," I put up a hand to stop him before he goes on a rant like the amazing, supportive friend he is. "I mean, I know I'm great at, like, robotics, or whatever. And that's a great feat!" He's looking at me flabbergasted and I put up a finger, giving him my best "I know" face. "But! Normal things, extracurriculars, recreational stuff, no. Except for like, hiking. And boy scout stuff."

"You were a boy scout?"

"I went to summer camp."

"See, look, learn new things everyday." Wasabi slaps his hand on his thigh, then looks down to something in front of him.

"Yooo, what's happening over here?" Fred comes walking up, arms wide as if to ask for a hug. "Wasabi and Mn? Talking? Alone? What is this new development?" Fred points down at Wasabi. "Wasabi, you better not be trying to replace me!" He reaches us and hugs me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders possessively. I hug him back with one arm, though the way he's holding me is very awkward.

"Oh, yeah, that's me." Wasabi says awkwardly, giving us a thumbs up. "The one who replaces everyone else."

I pull up my bottom lip and furrow my brows. Fred's still holding onto me. "No, no, I'm pretty sure Fred's been replaced by Tadashi years ago."

Fred pulls away abruptly. I shrug at his offended face.

"I'm never anyone's first choice…" Wasabi's mumbles sadly. And _oh, that's kinda sad._

Me and Fred talk over each other trying to comfort him, despite the fact that he was probably kidding. "No, no, that's not true, probably."

"Dude, you're amazing, anyone would be lucky to have you."

"I'd date you, bro." Fred gave him a thumbs up.

"No, I'm ok." Wasabi nods incessantly with wide eyes, putting a hand on the wall to help lift himself up.

"We love you, that's all that matters." I say. Wasabi laughs, head falling back between his shoulders and dreads knocking together. "I'm sure somebody here likes dark chocolate."

He doubles over laughing, arms wrapped around himself. Fred follows him and I can't help the grin on my face.

Fred had a point. Me and Wasabi, despite knowing each other for more than two years, didn't talk much. Him and Honey are more like friends of a friend. Honey and me had gotten closer in the past loops but I still wouldn't consider us best friends. Either way, that's all over now. None of that stuff happened. Maybe she'll remember it and we can get that friendship back but who knows?

Wasabi though? He's always just been _there_. Like, around the area. He's like that guy I would partner up with for a class assignment because we snuck looks at each other a couple times. Actually, I don't really see him specifically hanging out with anyone. Maybe he hangs out with Fred or Honey when I'm not around but we're all usually together or I'm with Tadashi and everyone else is wherever. Huh. Weird.

"What're you laughing about?" Honey walks up from behind me, momentarily giving me a fright. She's also sweating profusely; most of her makeup has come off.

"Chocolate thunder," Fred says, and we burst out laughing with Wasabi.

Honey looks confused and I can't blame her, I'd be confused too.

"Honey, you should know by now not to pay these idiots any attention." Gogo joins out of nowhere, scaring me _again_. God, I should be used to this.

"Hey…" I pout.

"That's not nice," Fred says. "Tell her, Honey. That was rude, right?"

"Um," Honey giggles nervously, ignoring our eyes. "Yeah, sure."

Gogo rolls her eyes.

"Us blonds stick together!" Fred says, wrapping each of his arms around me and Honey.

I furrow my brows together. "I'm not blond."

"You're kinda blond. Like almost blond. Dirty blond."

"I'm not blond, I'm-" I pick at my hair, pulling a lock in front of my eye. As if _I_ don't know what color my hair is. "It's light brown- and so is yours!"

"Please don't tell me you went your whole life thinking you were blond." Gogo crosses her arms and leans to the side. Honey moves beside her.

Fred pauses and inspects a lock of his hair between his thumb and forefinger. "I was blond as a kid."

"I've never had blond hair. No one in my family has blond hair. Maybe Shrade-" I start.

"Ah!" Fred points at me.

"But Shrade doesn't count. He's my _brother in law_."

"Still though!"

"Maybe Asher- well, Canba may have blond hair when he's older but he's a brunet for now."

"Asher?" Wasabi asked.

"Asher, Canba, same person."

"Your brother never officially named him?" Wasabi asks, horrified. " He's three!"

"No, his name is Asher but he only responds to Canba. It's his nickname."

"That's weird." _Cheese and crackers, when did Tadashi get here?! Why is everyone sneaking up on me today?!_

"We're a weird bunch." I say after I cool down. "I think he got it from Star Wa-"

Wasabi points at me, wide eyed.

"Galaxy wars, shiz!" I correct myself.

"You can't use that! That's from ISpencer!"

"What's happening?" Gogo asks, eyebrows furrowed and lips quirked up in confusion. Her arms are still crossed as she tilts to one side, eyeing Wasabi and me.

I sigh, rub my hand across my face. "The copyright challenge. We made a bet a couple years ago over who can last the longest without saying the name of any name brand or tv show."

"We were reading on fanfiction dot net and noticed how the copyright infringement thing was so strict," Fred explains. "We thought it was funny, so we made a game out of it."

"But wouldn't fanfiction dot net be a name brand?" Gogo interrupts. "So didn't you just lose the bet?"

"….."

.

Tadashi hugs me as I walk in the door to the cafe, just as every other time. It's Sunday morning and not too many people are here just yet, but there's enough to not feel empty. I love coming to this place in the mornings. It's the most relaxing place in the world to me. It's bathed in a golden aura this time of day, shines through the windows down on the wooden floors, over the light green walls. It's a nice mix.

"Hey," Tadashi pulls back, hands on my shoulders and eyebrow furrowed in confusion. "When did you get taller than me?"

I look down at him and raise an eyebrow. I _look down at him_. _Holy shit, I did get taller than him! When did that happen? I didn't even notice._

We've always been the same height, 5'10. Even when we first met. Standing next to my brother, Chase, last timeline was confirmation that I hadn't gotten any taller. He's 5'10 too. And I'm twenty-three so I stopped growing a long while ago. So what sense…?

I gotta learn to stop questioning everything.

I shrug. "I dunno. Maybe you got shorter?"

"You Scandinavians have weird genes." He pulls back and walks to our table, right smack in the middle of the cafe. . "How is the average height for Dutch men 6 feet?"

"How is the average height for a Japanese male 5'7?"

"That's a normal height, though?"

I shrug and sit down in my seat just as he sits across from me. We talk and eat until Gogo and the rest get here. I invite Honey over, and just for the heck of messing with fate, Gogo too. Then Fred said he was coming over and I said he wasn't invited. Then he said he was going to crash the party and I said I'll call the police and get him arrested before he can do any damage. Then Wasabi said he'd feel left out and I shrugged and Fred looked ready to fight him.

" _He's replacing me!"_

" _No one's replacing you." I groaned._

Then Hiro. He's been...rather unusual. Not in personality or anything, but in how the loops are affecting him. He's been more susceptible to the Mandela effect than anyone else, though I should probably stop calling it that. This doesn't seem like that theory anymore. It's more than just messing up the name of a comic book character, this is legit memory swapping. Yeah, Honey remembered the movie night, and yeah, Tadashi felt _something_ from that night we spent together, but it seems like Hiro's remembered more. He feels emotions more intensely. He started crying in the middle of a conversation!

This time is the same as every other, though. Hiro cries, I comfort him, we search the internet, then we talk about Tadashi again, and then he asks me about my name, _again_ , and Tadashi bails me out like the amazing boyfriend he is. Tadashi said he wanted to come over too, so it's gonna be him, Honey, Gogo, and me cuddled up in the living room watching movies all night.

.

And we are. Gogo and Honey brought cupcakes like the angels they are and we ate to our hearts content while we watched our movies. Tadashi snuggles up against me after handing me my fourth cupcake and I wrap us in my fluffy and hard pink blanket. He lays his head on my shoulder with his arm around my waist, and I sporadically lay soft kisses on his forehead. Gogo and Honey are entranced by the movie, sitting on their side of the blanket. Gogo's legs are crossed and her arms are spread out on the cushions of my couch. Her eyes are wide open through most of the movies, but by 2 AM they start to droop, her head starts to tilt, and despite the fact that she calls _me_ babyface, she's looking very similar to one herself. Honey is wrapped up in another blanket beside her. She's actually managed to stay up this time. Tadashi, though, is sleeping peacefully on my shoulder. By four in the morning, we're the only ones up and barely half way through the movies. I didn't actually realize how long these were- I always fell asleep, like, two movies in.

"We're not gonna finish this, are we?" Honey asks, voice strangely awake.

I look over at her. Gogo is sleeping with her head back against the couch cushions and her arms crossed. The bright light of the TV is reflecting a light blue on our faces. Honey looks so tired that she has bags under her droopy eyes and a soft frown on her face. At some point she pulled her hair back into a messy blonde bun.

"Yeah," I look back at the TV, the credits rolling on this one, sinking our surroundings into a dimmer light. "Should've read the book..!" We chuckle tiredly.

"I think we did a good job!" She says, facing me with those big green eyes and a lazy grin. Suddenly, she doesn't look as exhausted anymore. Her grin drops naturally, but it becomes a small frown. Her eyes drop to her lap and she tries for another smile, dark eyebrows knitted together as she scratches the nape of her neck.

When she didn't say anything, I goad her. "Yeah..?"

She makes a noise in the back of her throat and sighs, finally looking up at me. Her hand makes a muffled slap on her clothed llama 'jama's.

"I'm just...really glad we could hang out together." She says. "For a long time, for whatever reason, I thought you didn't like me?"

I raise an eyebrow at her. "No, of course not..! Why would you think..?"

"I dunno," she shrugs, hand now on her neck. She looks to the side, tilts her body side to side in her cross-legged form, absentminded. "It just felt like you ignored me most of the time? We're never actually alone together- not in a weird way!" She quickly adds, holding her hands out in plea. I nod in understanding. "Just that we've never really talked one on one. So I guess that's..it? I just wanted to say thanks for inviting me."

"Yeah, of course." I try to give an encouraging smile in my drowsiness. "I couldn't let a fellow nerd miss out on such a important part of geek culture."

She laughs. "Yeah, not like I went twenty-one years of my life without it."

"I'm sure those twenty-one years have been absolute hell until now so you're welcome."

We spend about thirty minutes talking about the movies while I make a bed on the couch and lay Tadashi and Gogo as comfortably as I can on top of it. Tadashi makes a small noise but falls back asleep as quickly as he woke up. Same for Gogo. Tadashi is spread out on one side, against the back cushions while Gogo is his direct inverse, on the other side in front of him. Good thing she's small and my couch is meant for four people.

"Hey, I didn't get to say it yesterday, but thanks for telling us about your mom." Honey says into the eerie quiet after I finish setting the two others down. "It must have been hard."

I sit down beside her now that the others are out of the way. The TV is off and it's completely dark aside from the light outside my window from a street light. It feels like it's gonna get awkward any time now. I feel like anywhere I go, any situation can magically get awkward, just from me standing around. A crying baby would go silent for how awkward it is.

I take that thought out of my mind and turn my attention back to Honey.

"Very hard. It was…a big step for me. I don't like to talk about her," I look over st the picture frame sitting on the small table next to the couch, but I can't see it from here. "But it's something I _really_ wanna work on. This was just the first step."

She nods. "Yeah, I mean, I can't pretend to know how you feel. My parents are both alive and well."

"Which is good." I nod and smile at her, leaning against the edge of the couch, careful to not disturb Gogo.

"Yeah, of course. I love my parents. They've always been supportive of me, and I'm grateful for that. I'd have no idea how to deal with losing them both that young…"

"I was eighteen, practically already an adult, but yeah, it was..hard, for a long time. Gladly, I never knew my dad. Never seen any pictures, or maybe I did? When I was young? I don't know. My mom never really talked about him and I never brought it up."

Honey hums and we fall into silence again.

"What happened to her…?" I feel my entire body freeze. For a second I can't breathe, but a hand reaches into my hair and I let out a deep breath, starting up again and relaxing instantly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, it was none of my business-"

"No, no, it's ok, it wasn't your fault." I breathe and tilt my head back into Gogo's hand. I don't know when she woke up but either way I'll have to remember to apologize later.

"Sorry…" she says one more time, and I can hear the guilt in her voice. I want to comfort her more but thoughts completely leave my head for awhile as my drowsiness and Gogo's magical hands put me in a state of paralysis.

"It's ok," I whisper after a while when the hand stops. I look up to see Gogo's asleep again. I move her hand beside her, careful not to wake her up again. A question pops into my head, one I've been thinking about for a long time but have never asked, and now that we're both here and I'm drowsy enough to say stupid things, I should probably let it out. "How long have you known Tadashi?" I ask. "And Fred and Gogo and them." Wasabi, there's only one name left, Wasabi. I stop myself from facepalming physically, so I do it mentally.

"Oh, uhm, about three and a half years?" She answers. "For Tadashi. I've been at SFIT for four years now, actually, and I saw Tadashi around, but Fred and Wasabi and me became friends before we met Tadashi, and then Gogo joined the group a couple months before you did."

That makes me raise my eyebrows. "Really? I always thought you all just came together as one the moment you laid eyes on each other." I'm too tired to laugh, and apparently Honey is too, but she has an open mouthed smile on her face.

"Yup, no, you're completely right. That is exactly what happened. I was lying."

"I knew it." I breathed, yawning and arching my back, waiting to hear a pop that never came. "What was your first impression of Tadashi?" Here it goes.

This time she does laugh, soft enough not to wake anyone. "Don't worry, I know what you're getting at, and me and Tadashi never had a thing."

"Oh thank God." I let out an exaggerated breath.

"Haha, I mean, I thought he was cute, but I had a boyfriend at the time."

"A boyfriend?"

"Yeah, but we ended it before Gogo came along. We weren't very…" she goes silent, scratches her arm. "healthy.."

"Oh," I sit up straight, give her every ounce of my attention.

"You don't have to worry about me. It's been over for awhile now," she whispers.

"I know, but still.." I reach a hand over to her, but I don't touch her. Her hand is tight on her arm and she is looking down at something, dazed. She sees my hand and takes it.

"...Thanks."

I nod and squeeze her small fingers together. We decide to go to sleep from there, so we curl up on the floor with a comforter as a blanket and sleep until twelve. We wake up to the smell of eggs and pancakes, made by the bestest boyfriend ever.

⏰⏰⌚⌚.

It's two o'clock on a Monday and I drive the kids to school. It's become a habit now, on this Monday, every three months, that I come to this room and glare miserably at the time traveling machine. A few things have changed over the months- one of them being my impulsive behavior. I've been told that it's not a _bad_ trait that I have, that I don't do as crazy stuff as others do. Some people sell their cars, I get tickets to go ziplining that cost well over two hundred dollars for the entire gang to go. At least I had money to do that sort of thing. I mean, that was only _once_ , so…

But still, I think I've gotten better at controlling it, especially since Tadashi..passed. I mean, I can even think about it now. That's progress, right? I mean, in the beginning, I went back in time just so Tadashi wouldn't have a scar that would only have lasted a couple months. I've gotten better. Way better. I'm glad I'm getting this out of the way.

So, this is it. I sigh and give Fredrick a sad smile. "I know we didn't get along much, but I'm still glad I made you." It doesn't say anything back. "I guess this is it...you did your best, buddy." I say as I unplug the wires, all of them, watch the thing shut down and then take all the parts off and break them apart, rip them to pieces, put them in a trunk and take them to my car to drive to the dump.

.

"Does anyone get the feeling that this lab is _too_ empty?" Wasabi asks, laying on one of my bean bags.

"Yeah," Gogo looks around from her(my) rolly chair. "Where's all the stuff for Fredrick?"

I take a sip of the soda I got from one of the vending machines downstairs, lounging on my bean bag beside Gogo near the middle of the room. "Scrapped it."

I'm ready for their subsequent gasp. "What the hell?!" Gogo exclaims, disgust and disapproval plain on her face.

"What? When?" Honey asks, concerned. She's sitting in the beanbag next to Wasabi with hot chocolate in her hands.

"This afternoon." Classes are over for the day so we're just chilling in my room, for the most part. Chilling is done for now I guess.

"I was wondering why it was so neat in here." Wasabi comments and I snort. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!" I shrug, arms behind my head and closing my eyes. "They were just the wrong parts, or weren't working right, one of them. I'm gonna get different, better, _safer_ parts ordered in."

"But did you really have to scrap the whole thing?" Wasabi asks.

"There was nothing I could do with it." I say, relaxing into the bag. "Chinks in the armor."

"Mm, Callaghan's not gonna like that.." Gogo says. "Just sayin'."

 _Callaghan's a liar and a cheater_. I resist the urge to say. I don't know much about what happened, but Callaghan was the one responsible for Tadashi's death and that's all that mattered. He got put in jail that first loop, and no word from him since the loops started has been uttered by anyone. The bastard. He got what he deserved. I hadn't even thought about him since this started. Every time I'm in the, the fire...I always end up in the hospital for a week and whatever news about Callaghan has already shot through the school by the time I come back. I watch sci fi movies, ok? I know revenge isn't the way to go. Isn't the right way. But he at least deserves one punch. And fifty years jail time for _setting an entire building on fire, holy shit._ With people still _inside_ , too. What the fuck?

Still, it's a thought I'd rather ignore. Not like I can do anything about it. All I want is Tadashi _alive_.

I smooth my thumb over the case in my pocket.

.

"Where are you taking me?" Tadashi asks. He's yelling into the air, holding onto me as I speed down the road. This day I switched things up. Today we're riding my motorcycle, it keeps me more focused, more alert. Trees blur passed my peripherals, and the road seems endless, but it's a beautiful day outside and this morning there is miraculously no traffic.

"You'll find out when you see it!" I yell back at him.

He gasps as we slow to a stop. "This is where-"

"Yep." I smile as I get off the bike, setting my helmet down. _Where we first met_.

In front of us is a large concert hall. The building is huge and split up into sections and in front of it is it's long and full parking lot, filled with cars of people who actually work there when it's not booked. Across from it, in the parking lot where we are, is a empty open park. This area, when we first met, was filled with booths from street to street. The whole place was cut off so that no one in a car could get anywhere. It was here, right here, that I met Tadashi for the first time.

He's grinning, looking around. It's not as stunning as the convention weekend, actually, it's just a normal building in the civil part of town, but the nostalgia is overwhelming. "It's not our anniversary, but, Fred invited me almost 3 years ago to go to a comic convention, and when I got there, he introduced me to you."

Tadashi turns around and smiles. "And Fred needed us to hold his spot in line to go search for Wasabi with Gogo and Honey, and we got his autograph for him and started talking over some ridiculously tasty nachos,"

I laugh. "Yeah, and it turned out Wasabi ate some bad candy and threw up in the bathroom."

"It's such a _him_ thing to do!" Tadashi laughs. He places the leftover helmet on my bike. His laugh softens into a smile and he gazes at me charmingly. "What's the occasion? What are we doing here?"

I smile, and reply cheerfully, "It's just a date."

.

I take him to the movies and we finally see Electro-Beam together. Honestly, it's been months and I'd completely forgotten about the movie, aside from the inside jokes me and Hiro had in the loops before, after the hospitalization phase.

After that we went to a fast food restaurant, ordered to go, and set a picnic out on the lawn of the park outside the concert hall. It was different. It was fun. Sad that we didn't get to flirt with some strangers while we ate fries and burgers from twenty feet away, but you gain some you lose some. Things were great, until Tadashi unexpectedly asked, "What happened to your mom?"

He had the softest tone, his hand on mine, and the most sympathetic face, but I couldn't talk. My throat wouldn't let me. My brain shut down and I could only stare, wide-eyed.

"It's ok, you don't have to tell me." He says comfortingly, patting my hand before pulling away. There was the most dramatic breeze and I grab it back. I owe him. He deserves to know. Out of anyone, he deserves to know the most. He _knows_ what it's like; he lost _two_ of his parents.

It was only two words, right?

"No, I want to." I say, clearly, loudly, but it sounds too low for me to hear. Sounds far away. There's too much noise in my head, and none all at once. _It's been more than five years, damnit!_ "Ground one."

Realization dawns on his face, before he gives me that look: pity. The event no one talks about, no one thought would happen after all these years.

 _The first terrorist attack in America in more than fifty years,_ I read on the news days after my mom died in the hospital. A woman with explosives taped to her chest walked right up to the office building the mayor worked at, my mom worked at, and set it off. It was a large building, but it stood on a very fancy but well-built column foundation. There was a government meeting held later that day, but apparently the woman got the time wrong, and the hundreds packed in, the _citizens,_ were all crushed under the weight of a 60 meters tall building. No one was caught, she either was alone in her plans or no one could be found. There was no group association with her, no one to claim victory, no one to blame or set off a war. No names.

No words.

People forgot about it as soon as it happened. San Fransokyo is a big city, but it seemed like no one was affected. No one wanted to talk about it. Me least of all. It was a sensitive subject for so long. Maybe people did talk, and I blocked it all out. Three years in isolation could do that.

Tadashi had gone silent, or maybe it was me, and I suddenly realized how hard I was grasping his hand. I let go and he didn't stop me. Strangely, I didn't feel anything. Not like crying, or being angry, or happy to have gotten it out. I felt numb. No underlying pain, like the loops before, but numb. I guess I've had years to cry about it, already.

Seconds pass and Tadashi's arms are around me. "I'm sorry…" he whispers.

I hug him back. "It's fine, I've had years to get over it."

"But you haven't." He says softly. He squeezes me as he says, "and that's ok too. Take your time."

"Tadashi?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." And I'm an asshole. For what I'm about to do, what I will do.

But of course, he doesn't know that yet. "I love you too."

.

"Do you ever think about moving out?" Tadashi asks, cuddled up against my side now that we were in bed and procrastinating sleep. He was shirtless, having just pulled back on my sweatpants again a couple minutes ago. _This house is too big_ , he said earlier.

"I used to." I pick at his hair using the arm he had his head on. "Not anymore though."

"Why?" His tired voice was a perfect groan. He'd fall asleep any minute now. Always did. "Is it because of what happened? Because it's your mom's home?"

"No...well, that too. But it's my home too. I grew up here and the mortgage is already paid off and there doesn't seem like much of a reason to leave. At least, not just yet." I say. His arm over my waist squeezes me tighter for a second. "But I used to want to leave. Not that long ago. I mean, in the end, it's up to me and my brothers to decide. There would be a lot of stuff to pack up and put in storage some place. Chase and Kachi's stuff are still here. Some of them at least. Kachi could still live here with all the stuff in his room."

"So basically it's too bothersome?" Tadashi grins into my chest.

"Yup," I chuckle. "And you?"

"Hm?"

"Are you gonna move out of the cafe?"

"I mean...at some point." He murmurs. He's tired.

I kiss his forehead. He moans deep in his throat. "Not sure when? When you get out of college?"

"Yeah...I haven't been thinking about it much. I should, though. I'm already in my third year now, aren't I?"

"You asking me?"

He breathes into my neck, having moved up a bit.

After a few long seconds of silence, I ask him, "Would you move in with me?"

I catch the way his breath hitches for a second, just before normalizing again. He pulls back to look at me. "Are you seriously asking?"

I hesitate. "Yeah…? I could tell Kachi to come get his shit and go." I grin lazily as he laughs.

"I dunno, maybe. When we graduate and don't have to ride forty minutes to the school."

I shrug as best as I can and he lays his head on my arm again. "Actually, it's only thirty minutes. From here to the cafe is the same distance as here to the school."

"Whatever."

"Backtracking."

"Get some sleep, dork."

"You're the dork," I say, a little offended.

"I was complimenting you. Dorks are adorkable."

"That was awful and never again." I wrap my arms around his neck. Apparently he forgot about sleep because now he's wrestling me. He rolls on top of me and throws fake hits. "No one wants to date dorks."

"Well _I'm_ dating you, so.." he says as I catch his hands in mine and interlink our fingers.

"Then no one wants to _marry_ a dork." My heart pounds.

"Aww," he flops down on me, knocking the breath out of me. "I'd marry you." He says in a pouty playful voice into my neck. I wrap my arms around his waist this time and throw him off on the bed beside me. He laughs.

"No you wouldn't," I fake pout and turn my back to him so he can't see how _freaking nervous_ I am just _touching_ the subject.

"Yes I would." He leans over my arm and hugs me weirdly, kissing my face. I turn my face away from him but he just ends up kissing my neck and making me laugh. My face gets hot really quick.

"You're just saying that." I murmur and he stops with one last wet kiss to my neck.

"No, I would." He says and I feel his weight lift off me, him plopping down behind me. "Just not right _now_."

I open my eyes- _when did I close them?-_ and look back at him. His eyes are on the ceiling before he turns to me. There's a small smile on his face.

"I mean, you're cute and a dork," he smiles a bit more at the word. "But there's a lot going on and there's college and Hiro and, really, we've only known each other two and a half years. Maybe when I'm a bit older and together."

"Are we for real, now?" I have to make sure to ask.

He shrugs. "Maybe in a couple years, if we're still together?"

I gulp, nod, and realize I've probably been staring, wide-eyed at him for a while now and look down at my hands, picking at my nail. "Yeah...sounds like a plan." _A few deep breaths_. "Would you say yes?"

I look up at him. His eyes are glittering from the ounce of light coming from the window behind me.

"If I proposed," I explain. "would you say yes?" Do I sound desperate? Fuck, I'm a train wreck. Way to be subtle, idiot. "I mean, a wedding and a engagement don't have to be close together-" _Don't fucking mansplain, what the fuck-_

"Yes." I stop. "I would." Tadashi's staring at me, brown eyes awake and sure. Voice treading but confident in his words. I almost say _what_ but he goes on. "In this highly hypothetical situation, I would, indeed, say yes, to said engagement." And he's saying it lightly, but there's sincerity in that voice. I've heard it a million times by now. A joking tone to a serious situation, just to not bring anyone down. To be able to go back in case everything goes wrong. To say, _it's just a joke_ , so that we can ignore the truth if that's what we both wanted. He knows. He _knows_ , and he's saying _yes_.

I'm quiet for too long, I suppose, because Tadashi takes me into his arms and we end up cuddling again, half naked, until we fall asleep for the rest of the night.

.

Hiro's a little rage basket. Usually he's a really chill kid, besides when he gets a look at new tech, and he only really seems challenged when I'm around, which is understandable- I'm a really testy guy- but right now he's glaring at me with the strength of a thousand suns, and I don't even think he _knows_ it yet. It's like we started over from the beginning. Like, the _beginning_ beginning. We're all just sitting, eating breakfast, like normal, yet he is really staring me down right now. Tadashi hasn't even _noticed_ yet. Frankly, it's kind of hilarious. The kid looks like he really wants to _fight_ me.

"Hiro?" I ask.

His face clears up instantaneously. "Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

He looks confused. He looks down at the table with his eyebrows furrowed and a slight frown on his face. "Yeah...Yeah, I'm fine." He answers in a low tone. He sounds unsure. It makes sense, considering the situation he's in.

I let it slide and get back to finishing my food.

.

I'm nervous. I can't believe after all this time that _I'm nervous._ I've run straight into a exploding building multiple times, and _this_ is what makes me uneasy? Surely I'll be fine. It doesn't need to be physically perfect, it doesn't need to be overtly romantic… yes it does, _yes it does. Ugh! What am I doing?!_ This is probably the most unromantic place besides a bathroom. Tadashi won't care about that, but we'll look back at this and- and probably laugh, oh my gosh, this is perfect. This is us. It'll all work out, Mn, you got this. He's practically already said yes. And if he doesn't, there's always, possibly, a next time.

"Tadashi," I call. He turns around to look at me and my heart starts pounding. Like, really hard. In just one second my hands get as sweaty as a ocean, and I excitedly bounce on my feet. My voice is shaking. _I_ am shaking.

"Hm?" He hums, lips tucked in between his teeth and thick eyebrows arched under his cap. The cap _I_ got him for _our_ anniversary. He is wearing _my_ green hoodie, yet completely unaware of what is coming next. At least, I think he is.

I take a quick glance around the almost empty courtyard of the robotics building, only a few stray people were walking into the building, but that is all the confirmation I need before, on shaky legs, I bend down to one knee.

 _That_ made his eyes widen. I let out a shaky breath and reach my hand out to him. He smiles awkwardly, eyebrows furrowed up over wide monolid eyes, and gives me one of his hands. He's confused. You're not the only nervous one, buddy.

"Tadashi," my voice cracks but I ignore it. "You have made me the happiest guy on earth," his smile widens into something more sincere and a grin crosses his face. I feel myself instantly relax, my shoulders slump over a little bit more. "I've been through so many trifles in my life, and for as long as you've been here with me, I've been able to get through them one by one. You've motivated me to become a greater person. Every time I look at you, I can't help but think you are the most beautiful, thoughtful person I know and the best thing that's ever happened to me.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know it's only been two years, and of course we're both too busy with school to have a ceremony _now_ of all times, but when we're out of here, I'd like to stay with you forever. Frankly, I can't think of a life without you. I have faith that whatever comes our way, we can get through it together. I can only pray that I can make you just as, or even more happy than you have made me. So, C.C,"

"Oh my God.." He says quietly, amusement in his voice. His eyes are watery and his free hand is cradled over his mouth.

I grin, tears I didn't even realize were there rolling down my face as I reach into my pocket and fish out the small box, opening it for him to see. "Will you continue to make me the luckiest man on earth? Will you marry me?"

Then there's that long pause, that three second silence that seems to last longer than life itself. The slow in time before everything picks back up. His eyes are red, and his hand still covers his mouth as he stares down at me for the longest, then looks up around us, the bright blue sky crowning his body from my position, the sun shining only on him. And it's just for a second, one _second,_ before he looks back at me, eyes glistening, and pulls his hand away from his face.

.

I have no idea where they came from, but a crowd cheers in the background as I rise up to embrace Tadashi after slipping the ring onto his finger. I wrap my arms around him and he holds me tight. He said-

.

"Ahh!" Gogo hears Honey Lemon scream from across the room. Gogo looks back from her bike at the girl on her phone, apparently watching a video.

"Yes!" Honey screeches, then looks at Gogo. "He said yes!"

Gogo has no idea what the blonde is talking about or why she is crying, but then Honey runs up and shows her screen to Gogo. Her eyes widens at the sight.

.

The whole school knows about the proposal already. Various people got it on video and sent it out on their social media. I've been crowded by people congratulating me all day, people I've never even met! It was cool at first but now it's just making me feel bad. Turns out Tadashi has been mobbed multiple times already in class. I've been ignoring classes all day for just that particular reason. When Fred found me some time during the day, he was balling crying- snot coming out of his nose and everything. It was kinda funny but at the same time very heartwarming, and the big sap that I am I got a little teary-eyed too. Gosh, I cry a lot. Need to get myself together. _Really_ need to get myself together.

 _I'm an asshole_ , I think as I stride with a purpose to Tadashi's lab. It took all this just to propose, and then for what? I was so determined that this was what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. It should all work out in the end, but what if it doesn't? There's no more second chances! This is it.

"Huah!" I groan as I run into something hard. A wall? When was this hallway this short? No, there's arms around me, and...crying?

I look up from what I now see is a chest and up at the face that belongs to the strong body holding me. There's a black goatee and dreads and _oh it's Wasabi._

Wasabi is holding me tightly to his chest as he sobs, tears rolling down his dark cheeks. "I've been waiting...so long for this day to come…!" He whimpers.

I laugh and hug him back. "You and me too, buddy."

"I'm so happy for you!" His voice is high as he says it, sobbing and holding me even more.

"Gosh, was the video that emotional?" I struggle to ask, beginning to suffocate.

"Yes! Yes it was!" A different high pitched voice says before I felt a pat on my back and a hug from another tall body. The arms were way thinner in comparison and from the smell of her hair I could tell it was Honey Lemon.

"Aww, you guys!" I say.

"Please don't tell me your crying too." Yup, that's Gogo. I can't really see her from under Wasabi's huge muscular arms and Honey's long hair riding over my shoulder, but that's definitely her.

"I'm not!" I reply. "At least, not right now."

The two cuddlebugs finally let me go and I breathe in a deep breath, gaining back my footing.

"Ah, it was so romantic!" Honey wipes a stray tear from her eye.

"Why didn't you tell us you were going to propose?" Gogo asks, crossing her arms and smiling.

"Can I be a bridesmaid?" Honey rose her hand excitedly.

"Oh! Oh! I want bestman!" Wasabi says, grinning and hopping on his two feet like a kid about to get a lollipop.

"Ah, too late, dude. Fred already called it." I say, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"Ok, but I can be Tadashi's bestman."

"What about Hiro?" Gogo reminds.

"Yeah, he's probably gonna ask him." Honey says.

"You better run," I laugh as Wasabi starts running off down the hallway, probably to go find Tadashi. "Hurry!"

* * *

A high pitched scream makes me jump. I'm shocked two inches off my bed, heart pounding for a second before I realize it was probably just Aunt Cass getting excited over a soap opera again. Quick footsteps rush toward my room and stomp up the stairs, interrupting my game. Aunt Cass appears around the corner with the giddiest smile on her face. She was practically jumping out of her skin.

I gave her a curious look, waving my controller at her. "What's up?"

She pauses, still smiling as she turns her back to me, phone in hand and lifted up to her chest. "Nevermind, I'll let him be the one to tell you." She then squeals, hops down the stairs, and then promptly leaves.

That was weird. I don't care enough to question her on it though. One more loud scream of excitement came from the living room, but I decide to ignore it.

A few hours pass by with me mostly just playing my video game and waiting for Tadashi to get home to do some last minute testing for my microbots. I'm laying in bed when I hear Tadashi's loud footsteps rush up the stairs from the cafe and into the room. He must be really tired to be rushing to bed this early. His footsteps are usually so quiet that you don't even hear them, unless he's so tired that he passes out as soon as he hits the bed.

The big nerd reminds me of Aunt Cass when he comes into the room with the biggest grin on his face. His cap's in his hand as he pants and starts to run towards me, tossing the hat to his side of the room before getting ready to jump on my bed.

"No no no!" I say as he jumps and lands right on top of me, taking the breath out of me. I grunt and gasp for breath as he hugs me.

"Hiro! You won't believe what happened today!" He exclaims practically right into my ear. He's shaking me in his bear hug and I remember I should probably start pushing him off. He laughs and lays at my side.

"No, what?" I pant, closing my eyes and focusing on breathing. Dang, he weighs a lot. First Cass, now him? What the heck happened?

"This!" He says and I feel him hovering something over my face. "I'm engaged!"

A chill runs down my spine. I open my eyes, frozen, speechless as I look at his hand, more specifically his ring finger. There it is, right there, a silver ring with three diamonds in a row, the one in the middle small but still slightly bigger than the others. It sparkled in the dim light of my desk lamp.

The sudden realization that this was real hit me like a bus. My heart began pounding as I stared at it, uncomprehending whatever Tadashi was spouting next to me. He's getting married? To...to who? No way. No way. Not to _him_. But it was irrefutable. Who else? This has got to be a prank. A promise ring, a chastity ring or something. He _can't_ be engaged.

"When...when did this..?" I stutter, barely able to speak.

"This afternoon, after lunch. We were walking back from the cafeteria-"

I zone out almost immediately. No, this is still a prank. There's no way it happened this quickly. They've only known each other, what? Two years? Is that long enough to get married? I only met him a few months ago! Weeks ago? It's only been a few weeks, hasn't it? Right?

"You..you said yes?" I look at him as he pulls his hand back and admires it, twisting the ring around his finger. He looks at me and the smile fades off his face.

"Yeah," he says, furrowing his eyebrows. "Of course I did."

I sit up in my bed and look down at him. "But, you've only known each other two years..!"

Something changes in his eyes. He's tensing up. "Yeah…? We've been _dating_ for two years. I've known him for three." He sits up. "Why does that matter?"

"I just think…" I look down, unable to take his intensifying gaze, "that you may be making too rash a decision. Don't you think this is going too quickly?" I glance at him again. He looks angry. Or sad. Or both. Agitated. "I mean, you haven't been together long, and me and Cass just met him the other day-"

"The wedding, if we actually decide to have a wedding, is way far off from now. We've both decided it would be after we both graduated."

"But still-"

"But what?"

I flinch. He's right, _but what_? What's my problem? The fact that I practically just met this guy and he's about to become my brother in law? That two years, somehow, doesn't seem long enough? That makes sense right? I mean, how long _should_ a couple wait to get married? At the very least, more than a month since the boyfriend met the family! I'm not the unreasonable one here!

"Look, Hiro." Tadashi sighs. "I know I messed up not telling you about Tyrone sooner, and that it's mostly my fault you don't like him. But he makes me happy, Hiro! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course it does!" I turn to him. "You're my brother!"

"Then be happy for me! Support my ability to make decisions on my own. I know you don't understand these types of things, but Tyrone means a lot to me, and I really just want you to accept him." he sighs. "He's amazing, Hiro, and one day you'll see that." Tadashi stands up with one last pitying look my way. "I'm going to go eat dinner. Think about it, will you?" And with that, he leaves.

.

The day of the showcase. Huh, I didn't expect there to be so many people. The exhibit hall is way bigger on the inside than it was on the outside. The others and me are pulling my dumpsters full of microbots to an empty space in the area. We got here late and almost every available space was taken up already. I look around at all the other competitors and their projects as we walk around for a place to keep my stuff.

"Wow, there's some amazing tech here today," Tadashi says, pulling me out of my thoughts. He elbows me. "You nervous?"

"Ha, I don't get _nervous_." I say, rolling my dumpster away from everyone elses tech.

"Aw, he's so tense! It's ok, Hiro! You're tech is _amazing!_ " Honey says. "Tell him, Gogo!"

"Stop shaking, woman up." She says before popping her gum and continuing to look around.

"I'm fine!" I assure, despite the fact that I'm more nervous than I've ever been in my entire life. The group goes on as we finally find a place next to the stage to set my microbots.

"Dude, that's disgusting," Tyrone says to Fred.

"It's called _recycling,_ " Fred replies.

"No, it's called being _nasty_." He says as a speaker comes on.

I'm next. Holy crap, I'm next.

Honey and everyone gather for a picture before they leave to join the audience, wishing me good luck as they walk away. Tyrone seemed to hesitate before he walked off with them.

"What's up?" Tadashi puts his hand on my shoulder and looks at me worriedly.

"I... really wanna get into this school." I admit, staring up at him with wide eyes.

"Hey," he says softly, looking into my soul. "You got this."

Everyone was waiting for me, but most of all, Aunt Cass and Tadashi were rooting for me. That thought was enough to get me on stage and let it happen.

.

As soon as I got off stage I was bombarded with hugs and fist bumps. Honey lifted me off the ground as she told me how amazing my invention was. And then Alistair Krei, one of the richest technological geniuses in San Fransokyo, walked up to me, no joke, you can't make this stuff up, and said he wanted to _buy my invention_! Of course I said no, but still! The fact that he'd even want it is over the top cool! Then professor Callaghan handed me a acceptance letter and said "see you in class" and I just can. Freaking. Not.

"And congratulations to you two, as well." Callaghan nodded and smiled at Tadashi and Tyrone. Tadashi's grin grew times ten at the reminder, but Tyrone didn't seem impressed with Callaghan for whatever reason.

We cheered as we skipped out of the exhibition hall. Aunt Cass said something about free food on her, and Fred went wild. Tadashi stopped me and Cass.

"We'll catch up with you later," he said to Cass. Then he looked at Tyrone, "We'll meet you at the cafe." And kissed him.

Aunt Cass buried me in her hug. "Ugh! I'm so proud of my two boys!" She exclaimed, then walked off with Tyrone.

Tadashi led me to a bridge a few yards away from the exhibit hall entrance. It gave us a view of the whole campus.

"Let me guess, you're proud that I'm finally using my big brain for something good." I imitated his deep, responsible sounding voice and gave him his own cocky face.

"Nah, I was just gonna tell you your fly was down the entire time."

"Haha." I say sarcastically, then look down on instinct. "What!" I zip myself up and hit him in his arm.

He faked a hurt noise and stood up a little straighter. "But yeah, I'm proud of you, little brother. Welcome to nerd school."

Gosh, this was really awkward to say but, "Well, you know...thanks for not giving up on me. Nerd." I added quickly. He laughed. "And also...if Tyrone makes you happy, then..then I'm happy. Go for it, I guess."

He smiled at me, his eyes softening and there's something of pride in the way he looks at me.

Then a alarm goes off.

.

Tadashi screws up his face and in seconds he's off in a run toward the sound. I follow him, panicking a little bit. We turn the corner to the exhibit hall, and there it was, in flames. The exhibit hall was coughing smoke, along with people running out the entrance and down the stairs.

Tadashi stops someone running towards him. "What happened?"

The girl, panicking and coughing, says that a fire started somehow and that Callaghan was still inside, then ran off.

"Tadashi!" I turn around to see Tyrone running up. "Take Hiro and get everyone out of the area."

"Callaghan's still in there!" Tadashi tells him. He grabs me by my shoulders.

Tyrone looks at the fire and puts this determined look on his face. He takes something out of his pocket and hands it to Tadashi, then looks back at the fire. He's not thinking about-

Oh my gosh, he is.

I reach out for him but he's too fast. He's already up the stairs and inside the burning building. Tadashi's grip on me tightens. I look up at him, about to tell him that we gotta go, but he has this look on his face. He's staring at the door, mouth parted, eyes glinting from the reflection of the fire...and his ring is biting into my shoulder.

He looks down at something in his hand, whatever Tyrone gave him, and in seconds, Tadashi's at the bottom of the stairs.

* * *

I sigh as I close the door behind me. I take out my earplugs and phone from my pocket and put them back in my ear. The song I was listening to just a few minutes before the alarm rang is still playing, probably because I put it on repeat, so I mouth along to the words for the last time. I stare deep into the fire as it draws closer, and closer, and-

* * *

The building explodes. I watch it with my own eyes. It's only five seconds after Mn runs in that it happens. The blast blew me and Tadashi back, and when I was able to gain my bearings and look up, Tadashi was standing a few steps in front of me, facing the fire and screaming something. I couldn't hear it.

As I stand up, my hearing slowly starts to come back from under all the ringing.

"Tie...own…" I hear faintly. "Tyrone…!" A bit louder. "Tyrone!" He was screaming.

Tadashi drops to his knees before the flames, shoulders slumped, head still up, right in front of me.

He says something so quiet I barely hear it. "Filnic…"


	11. Own

Tadashi's listening to that song again. The sound of the smooth acoustic guitar traveled around our bedroom as the light through the window turned bright followed by the noise of late noon traffic. My brother's matted ebony hair that he refused to cut these past few weeks was mashed against his pillow, faced towards me with the edges highlighted by his laptop screen. A USB was plugged into one of the slots, black and slick like the ring case it came out of.

Another bad day, I guess.

It doesn't look like Tadashi's getting up today either.

It's been one month and two weeks since the accident. Professor Callaghan and Mn died in the explosion and a memorial was built where the exhibit hall used to be. Mn's a hero, despite failing at saving Callaghan...and himself.

A funeral was held for both of them, separately. Mn's brothers made sure of that. The funeral was tearful and black. He was _twenty-three_. I can't even imagine how everyone feels, especially Tadashi. They lost a good friend, a _great_ friend, and for Tadashi, a fiance. And right after he'd popped the question, too.

I wince, shaking my head and picking my backpack off the floor. I know that Mn's second oldest brother, Chase, I think, has moved back into Mn's house along with his family. Kachi used to travel, apparently, but Tadashi told me that he was going on a semi-permanent hiatus to live in the city.

School started two weeks ago. I've started classes and everything, but the group has disbanded, in a way. I don't know what happened, but it's like without Mn there to add a comment in every once in a while, everyone is so uncomfortable around each other. They don't even hang around each other anymore. I see Gogo in the hallways, but she always has this faraway look on her face, even more so than before. She's, I don't know, void. I haven't seen Fred in a while. And, gosh, Tadashi? He'll be ok some days- he'll go to school, get his work done, come home with me, eat, sleep- and then other days he's just a completely different person. He won't go to classes, won't eat, won't even get out of bed. He just lies there, listening to that playlist, playing each particular song on repeat over and over again, like he's doing right now.

It's times like these when I think I should just stay home and try to comfort him. Or at least be here when he needs me. It's sad that I can sing every lyric to _Caves_ by _Haux_ by heart. It's not even my kind of music.

" _You follow the words from caves_ ," I mouth the lyrics as I put my backpack on. I look over at Tadashi. He's still lying there. Is he sleeping, finally?

"Should I stay home?" I ask just in case he isn't asleep. It's obvious that he's not going to SFIT today, so why ask?

"No, no," he lifts a hand and waves unenthusiastically. Guess he's not asleep. "Go on to school. Get your education. Have fun." And he goes still again.

I frown at him, despite the fact that he can't see it.

"Tadashi," I trail as softly as I can. "You should get up and eat,"

No response.

I take off my backpack and put it on the floor before walking to Tadashi's bed and sitting beside him. He doesn't move. I sigh, then take in a deep breath. "Mn is a hero," I say and _that_ gets a reaction out of him. "He wouldn't want you to be like this. He'd want you to _eat_."

That does something. Tadashi sighs, trembling slightly. His arms are wrapped around himself, and his voice is weak as he talks. "I know you didn't like him, Hiro...but I loved him. He loved _me_ ," I wince as his voice breaks. "he was a hero, even before he saved my life." He hugged himself tighter. I noticed the ring on his left hand's ring finger, glinting in the light from his window.

"Did you know that-" he stops, takes a few seconds to breathe. "Did he ever tell you that his mom died a couple years ago? It's why it took him so long to register for SFIT. He and his brothers inherited all their mom's money but Mn wanted to earn it himself," he sniffs. "Both his brothers left him alone in that house, and when he came back he met Fred again.

"They've always been close. Fred introduced us," He laughs dryly. "at a convention. We were hanging out for Fred's birthday and he invited all of us. We walked around the plaza the whole day...and I was drawn to Ty, from the very first second, I knew, I-" Tadashi's shaking. I haven't seen him like this since, well, ever. He's sobbing quietly, hands covering his face while _Caves_ played in the background.

I ignore the burning in my eyes and instinctively hug him. I did know. I heard it all from the man himself. I hug my face into his back and feel his body rack as he cries.

I hate this. I hate that stupid fire. I hate the fact that Mn just left him here. Yeah, he was trying to save Callaghan, but what about himself? Did he even think about how it would make the rest of us feel? He was an engaged man!

I decide to forget school for today, this is important.

 **.**

I wake up, startled. When did I fall asleep?

I blink, taking in what I realize is Tadashi's chest. I lift my eyes up to his face. He's still asleep. His skin is clear of tear streaks and his hair is mussed. His features are relaxed, so he must be dreaming well. I sit up, lifting my head from his arm, and get up from his bed as slowly and silently as I can, trying not to wake him from his much-needed sleep.

I yawn and cover my mouth with my hand as I make my way over to my bed-

"Wah!" I screech as I trip over something hard and fall to my knees on the hardwood floor. "Ow!" I move onto my butt and regard the object I fell over. My backpack. Of course. I sigh. What time is it anyway?

"Are you ok?" Tadashi's groggy voice asks from his bed. He's sitting up and rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm, still half asleep.

I begin to say I'm fine when I'm interrupted by a calm, soft, robotic voice, "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?"

It's Baymax. I didn't realize he was still here. Tadashi brought him back here a month or so back and I guess he never took him back to the school. I watch silently as the robot tries to make its way across Tadashi's side of the room.

"Uh, I'm ok, really. There's no need-" I stop, remembering this morning. "Well, actually, Tadashi could use some help."

Tadashi looks up at the sound of his name. Baymax turns to him, his stubbed feet making no sound as they move carefully, one at a time, to face my brother.

"What seems to be the problem?" The big white marshmallow asks.

"What? No, Baymax, I'm fine." Tadashi tries to stop the robot from getting any closer.

"No, he's not! Scan him, Baymax!" I command, pointing at Tadashi.

" _Don't_ scan me," Tadashi orders, firmly.

"Scan completed." the robot announces.

"Unbelievable," Tadashi's hands drop to his lap, making a muffled slapping sound.

"Your dopamine levels are low," Baymax states, lifting one of his four plush fingers. "I recommend eating foods with high concentrations of tyrosine, such as bananas, apples, beans, eggs, yogurt-"

I laugh as Baymax goes on listing different foods, backing up and once again falling over something. "Ow!"

"On a scale of one to ten," Baymax starts as Tadashi laughs hysterically.

I groan, opening my eyes and lifting myself up. Something glints in the corner of my eye. I lean down and look back under my bed. Something's _moving_. I can't see what it is clearly, but I reach out and grab it. I pull it out from under the bed-

A microbot. The sole one that didn't get blown up in the explosion.

I examine it as I stand up and walk to my desk. It's wigging out.

"What's that?" Tadashi asks from behind me.

"It's one of my microbots. It must be broken, it won't stop moving and the only thing it's attracted to are the other microbots, but those were all blown up in the fire." I say as I put it in a clear case. I turn around and Baymax is right behind me, making me jump. "Jeez!"

Baymax takes the case from me and observes it, or I'm guessing that's what he's doing. He doesn't really have any expressions.

"Your tiny robot is trying to go somewhere," Baymax says.

"Oh yeah?" I pick up my bag from the floor and set it beside my bed before I flop down and relax on it. "Why don't you find out where it's trying to go?"

There's some robotic sound of movement, and then silence.

"Wait, where did Baymax go?" Tadashi's disembodied voice asks loudly in the quiet room. There's a sound of a door closing.

My eyes snap open.

"Oh no." Tadashi murmurs. I turn to him as he looks out his window, then rushes out of the room.

"What..?" I look out my own window and my eyes widen. There, down the busy street from my bedroom window, is a big white marshmallow patting its way farther and farther from the Lucky Cat Cafe. "Crap!"

I quickly catch up with Tadashi, rushing out of the cafe. "Why didn't you say something earlier?!"

"I was thinking!" Tadashi yells back, long legs bounding across the road in Baymax' s direction.

A car comes to a abrupt stop beside me and honks. I wave in apology. "About what?!"

"About-" Tadashi stops himself and groans. "Nevermind! Let's just get Baymax back safe and sound and we'll deal with it later!"

I nod."Where'd he go?"

"He was on a street car- that one!" Tadashi points at a bus stopped a few yards away. We run to it, then up the stairs next to it, and spot the robot at the other side of the plaza. We maneuver our way through the bushes of people, apologizing all the way, and follow Baymax's tracks. Every time we get a glimpse of him, he turns a corner. Finally, we caught up with him in front of a warehouse's empty lot.

"Baymax, what're you doing buddy?" Tadashi pants, bent over his knees, head facing the ground. No one is built to run this long. How was the marshmallow so tricky?

"I have found where Hiro's tiny robot wanted to go." He says, and for a second I wonder how he wasn't out of breath, before I remember- _duh_ , _he's a robot_.

"I told you, it's broken!" I snatch the thing from its plushy hands. "It doesn't want to go any…" I trail to a stop as I behold the moving tech. I turn the case, but the microbot keeps trying to go towards the door.

"What's wrong?" Tadashi, having gotten his breath back, comes up beside me.

I ignore him and walk to the door. It has a chain lock on it. "Locked."

"What, what are we doing?" Tadashi asks, voice showing obvious disapproval. "You can't possibly be thinking about going in there."

"Window." Baymax points up.

"Don't encourage him!"

.

Hours later both Tadashi and I slump down on our individual beds and take a deep breath. We managed to get away from _both_ a masked psychopath _and_ aunt Cass. Baymax was in his corner, taking in air and recharging.

I blew out a breath. "Dude...Who was that?" I knew that if _I_ didn't know, Tadashi sure as heck wouldn't. "Can you believe the cops didn't believe us?"

"I can. If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have believed it either. Still can't really believe that happened."

"He had my microbots," I reaffirm.

"Millions of them."

"But how? They were all destroyed in the fire!" I sit up.

"Unless…" Tadashi trails.

I know what he's getting at, and I _definitely_ don't like it.

"Unless it wasn't an accident." Me and Tadashi stare at each other from across the room. "What if, what if the same guy that stole my microbots is the one who caused the fire? And the fire was just a distraction?"

"Then that means that-" he began to twist his ring around his finger.

"Tyrone," Baymax said from his corner.

We turn to him. He's fully blown up again and looking in the direction of Tadashi's bookcase. I can't see it from here, but I know where he's looking.

After the funeral, Mn's brothers started cleaning out his house. Mn didn't have a lot of stuff outside of his room and when Chase and his family began moving in they needed to move his stuff upstairs or give it away. Some of his clothes were saved for when Canba got older, and some stuff was given away. Others, though...well, Tadashi took it. Some of his favorite t-shirts or jackets that I realized Tadashi would wear back before I even knew about Mn were in that box. He put it right beside his bed with Mn's Reality Shifts beanie on top and now Baymax was staring directly at it.

"He's, uh," I glance at Tadashi, whose hands were clasped on his thighs. "He's gone, Baymax."

"Where did he go?"

"Baymax, I'm satisfied with my care." Tadashi's stiff voice rang across the room. Baymax began to shut down and compress into his charger.

I start to give Tadashi a look but stop myself before the words come out of my mouth. Yeah, of course he's not ok. I've learned to just stop mentioning _him_ around Tadashi. It still hurts him. He needs to move on, but this new development, the fact that the fire may have not been an accident- "Tadashi?"

"I know it's not Baymax's fault," Tadashi says, looking at the machine.

I move to sit beside him. "It's not your fault either." A thought pokes in my head. "But we might know whose it is."

He faces me, furrowed eyebrows turning up.

"We just need to catch him."

His eyes widen as he catches on. "No, no, Hiro- we can't-"

 **.**

"Unbelievable." He says days later, having caught me right after I finished Baymax's enhancements. He stands at the door of the dojo, gazing with equal amounts of annoyance and awe.

"You mean fantastic!" I say, gesturing to Baymax's new black and slate plating. Ok, so, Tadashi _may have_ told me _not_ to pursue the masked guy, but since when have I ever listened to him? I mean, look at Baymax! He looks awesome! "With his new power moves, he can totally beat this guy!"

"Baymax was _not_ meant for this." Tadashi walks up beside me, eyes not straying off the robot. "He's here to help people."

"He's here to help me!" I jump on my toes. "And you!" I add quickly and punch his shoulder. "Come on, tell me this won't make you feel better. Catching this guy, getting my microbots back?" I give him a pleading look. "...Moving on?"

Tadashi turns his gaze to me, a considering look on his face. Then he sighs.

I grin.

"No," he says.

I stop grinning.

"No, we can't do this. Get this armor off and shut him down." Tadashi says, grabbing the plating on Baymax's arm.

I grip onto his sleeve. "Tadashi, please!" I plead. "I _know_ you miss him, trust me. But you have to move on. You need this more than I do. We can't leave this up to the professionals. There's only us."

And again, that considering gaze. The silence is palpable, only lasting a few seconds but feeling like it's been way longer. "Fine." He says, finally. "Yeah, ok. We got this."

I smile. "I got your back."

He smiles back, albeit less sure. "And I got yours."

 **.**

Later that night, Tadashi, Baymax, and I ran to the warehouse.

"So what's the plan?" Tadashi asks once we reach the door.

"This," I say and gesture to Baymax, who then punches through the door, spraying splinters of wood across the floor inside. "Get him, Baymax!" I move from behind the big robot and point inside at a whole lot of nothing. The whole place looks cleared out.

"Seriously?" Tadashi asks in a bleak voice.

"We're too late," I reach into my pocket and get out the clear case with my last remaining microbot. "Here, we can follow this." I lead the way.

We turn a corner and keep straight. I watch the tiny robot incessantly as it guides us, waiting for any turn of direction.

"Hiro!" Tadashi yells and something pulls me back by my hood.

"Always watch where you're going," Baymax unhands me and moves his stiff forefinger side to side. I look in front of me to see a neverending body of water. I almost ran right off a dock.

I whistle at the sight. It was dark this time of day and the sea was clouded with impenetrable grey fog. This far into the city there were no stars to be seen, even at the docks.

The case in my hand starts to jerk forward. I gasp, trying to hold onto it, but it flies out of my hands into the white abyss. I stare at into it, trying to see where it went, and then I notice something.

A figure, and it's coming right toward us.

"Come on!" I whisper to them and run behind a freight train. They follow after.

"It's him," Tadashi says as we peak over the side of the train, watching the masked man slither forward on my microbots. He was looking around for something- no, he was bringing something out of the water. Some machinery with a logo on its side. An arc? It had a red bird on it, with its wings spread inside a circle.

"Your heart rate is-" Baymax starts as I pull him back.

"Sh!" Tadashi and I chastise. Tadashi holds Baymax by his arm.

I take a peek around the freight train. "Baymax, time to put those skills to the test, buddy," I say. This is it, what we've been training for.

Baymax raises a fist and hops forward. As soon as he turns the corner, all air drained out of my lungs.

 _This was a bad idea._ As soon as I saw that marshmallow of a robot literally waddle passed me, it suddenly hit me. _There's no way he can win._

A cold wind blows passed my face and a loud, sharp, metal sound comes from behind me. I was so in my thoughts that in a matter of seconds, Baymax got punched into a freight car behind us. If he wasn't such a bright and big shape, I wouldn't have even been able to see him in this darkness.

"Oh no," Baymax says as he slips down onto the ground. A round indent was present where the robot's body had been blown back against the train.

"Baymax-!" I yelp, hearing the sound of an engine.

I turn to the noise and headlights blind me. I squint at the light as the car stops in front of Tadashi and me.

The lights turn off and a head pops out of the passengers' window. A face I haven't seen in awhile screams at us.

"Get in!" Gogo yells.

Without question, we run to her and jump into the car, slamming the car door behind us.

"How'd you know we were here?" Tadashi asks from beside me.

Wasabi is in the driver's seat, sweating profusely.

"Baymax called us and told us what you were planning," Gogo replies.

The name sparks a thought. "Baymax!" I scream and look out the window. My eyes widen at the scene.

Baymax...is falling from the sky, heading right towards us.

I duck into the car as a loud _**POW**_ from Baymax's crash came from above me. Wasabi screams.

"Drive, drive, drive!" Gogo shouts, hitting her armrest.

Wasabi puts the car in reverse and we back the heck out of there.

"I _knew_ this was a bad idea!" Tadashi says, hands cradling his cheeks.

"Why didn't you stop, then?" Gogo screams back. The car comes off the ground for a solid two seconds and makes my heart jump out of my chest painfully.

"I don't know! I tried, but-"

"This is my fault," I say, looking down at my feet, thinking. I look out the back windshield. The Kabuki mask guy is still following us. A wave of black is streaming towards us, completely enveloping everything it passes by- cars, houses, everything. Nothing is standing in its way. Tendrils of black metal snap at us, and Wasabi is dodging only by a hair.

It's a monster.

I created a monster.

Suddenly the car stops.

"Why are we stopped?" Gogo asks.

"There's a red light!"

We groan and Gogo screams. "There are no _red lights in a car chase!_ "

But Wasabi's attention was on something on the other side of the road. "It's Honey!"

We all look out the window and see her walking on the sidewalk, eyes on her phone.

"Honey!" Tadashi calls out, and she finally looks up, sees Tadashi, then the microbots, then doubletakes. "Get in!"

She runs, I slide aside as she gets in, and Wasabi drives off before the black mass can swallow us.

"What's happening?" She screams, looking out the back window. " _This_ is what Baymax called me for?"

The door flips off beside her and both me and her scream. She bounces back on me and the car swerves, almost knocking her out of the car. Almost, if Baymax hadn't of grabbed her by her collar and pulled her back inside.

"Always wear your seatbelt," Baymax advises from the top of the car as he buckles her in with one hand, his top half over the side of the car.

"Did you just put your blinker on?" Gogo asks incredulously.

"You have to! It's the law!" Wasabi yells back, sweat pouring down his face in anxiety.

"That's. It." Gogo takes something out her mouth, gum, I see, then she pushes Wasabi's seat back, and sits in his lap before taking the wheel.

"Oh no," Tadashi says with wide eyes as he puts on his seatbelt. Curious but in no way feeling like being injured, I put my seatbelt on as well.

 **.**

I was right to do so because Gogo tossed us around like bags of wheat. My butt left the seat and my head hit the ceiling more than once, even with my seatbelt on. The car lifted off the road multiple times, and we barely missed hitting the cars and trash left on the side of the road. By the time we hit the train tracks, having missed the train by inches, my heart was racing, skin itching, as the man kept us in his sight.

Then a black tunnel surrounded us, lifting us off the ground and trying to swallow us, but Gogo was too fast.

"We're not gonna make it!" Wasabi yelled.

"We're gonna make it!" Honey yelled back.

This went on until we finally made our way back into the blue night and onto the docks.

Then we started screaming again as we headed toward the water. Brakes screeched, but in a blink of an eye and a loud crack, we were underwater.

 **.**

Baymax lift us up onto the dock, cold and dripping wet, but alive. I gasp as I climb up onto the deck, one leg before the other, and roll onto my back. I cough, vision blurred, struggling to get my breath, as everyone else piles around me. I close my eyes and focus on breathing.

"Ugh, let's never do that again." Wasabi gasps from somewhere beside me. Wood creaks as he and everyone else found a place to sit and rest.

"You guys!" A faraway voice calls. I open my eyes and turn towards the noise. "That was awesome!" Someone laughs.

Wasabi was in my way of vision, but I could tell that voice from anywhere. I sit up, and indeed, there he stood a couple of yards away, Fred with his arms up in the air and a wide grin on his face, a limo behind him, shining its bright lights at us.

 **.**

So somehow we ended up in a limo riding to Fred's house. Fred gave us some towels to dry off with when we got in the back of the vehicle, telling us he had seen most of the chase and had followed behind us the whole time. I decided to stop questioning how weird this guy is and just focus on what happened as a whole. The fight was a bust. We didn't get the Kabuki Mask guy _or_ my microbots.

"How did you get a limo?" Tadashi asked, looking around the back seat.

Fred seemed to almost not hear him, bouncing in his seat and humming with a smile on his face. "Oh," he seemed to realize something and turned to my brother. "It's mine."

Obviously I didn't hear him correctly. I brought the wet towel to my ear and started to dig for water.

Wasabi and Honey made confused sounds. Gogo crossed her arms.

"Look, Fred, we just escaped some guy trying to kill us! I'm not in the mood for-" Gogo started before being interrupted.

"Master Fredrickson, we are here." The driver said from the front seat.

Outside the window were stairs leading up to a white mansion with a large door entrance, spots of gold shining from every room through the many different windows. The palace had to have had at least three floors, and a basement, and a Narnia.

The first of us to break the shocked silence was Tadashi. "You're rich but you recycle underwear?"

* * *

Tadashi ran a hand through his newly cut short black hair as he looked down at the laptop screen on his lap. His brown eyes scan the playlist of songs while his finger slides down the touchpad, scrolling down the list until he finds where he left off. He hasn't listened to any of them in a whole week. He's been way too busy working with Hiro and the others, making costumes and weapons for them to fight off the Kabuki mask guy, or Alistair Krei, with. Tadashi hasn't even started on his own costume yet; he's been procrastinating on it for a while. He hasn't had any creative urges for a couple of months now, actually.

There was only one song left on the playlist Tyrone had left him. All it said was Mine, no band or singer's name attached to it, unlike the others. Tadashi has been avoiding listening to every song on the playlist until now. It was hard enough seeing everyone's faces without _him_ with them, hard enough when another piece of his life had already ended so abruptly. But now there was only one song left...and he finally feels stable enough to play it.

So Tadashi clicks on the song.

A black tab pops up. A white line goes around in a circle on the middle of the page. A video is loading.

So this one has a music video? Tadashi waits patiently for the video to start up. An image pops up and Tadashi sucks in a breath, eyes wide and jaw clenched.

Tyrone was sitting on a patch of grass, in a park maybe, with an acoustic guitar in his hands. The sound of a breeze cackled and the short grass moved with it, as well as Tyrone's caramel, almost red, hair. He was surrounded by blue skies and greenery, and his attention was on plucking the strings of his guitar, tuning it. There was a mumble and movement of the camera as a shoe stepped into the frame. Tyrone looked up at the person, mouth agape as his attention was pulled away before he started replying with a grin on his face. Tadashi couldn't hear what he said, but then the screen switched to another scene.

Legs crossed, Tyrone was smiling at the camera in the same place as before, guitar still in his hands. The sky was a little cloudier.

"Hey, Tadashi," Tyrone's voice, his deep-sounding, lovely voice, greeted him. Tadashi's eyes and cheeks began to sting. "I, um, I...started playing the guitar..! My brothers started teaching me a little while ago and...I _think_ I've gotten good enough at it now that I can play this one song for you, perfectly." A muffled voice in the background briefly distracted Tyrone. "Oh, and Kachi said hi." Then he started stringing.

Tadashi recognizes the song instantly.

" _Why nobody knows...the last I was sane? Cause I saw you and went crazy,"_ Tyrone sang. His voice was harsh and grating, but he was trying so hard to imitate the softness of the original singers' voice. Tyrone has always had a booming husk of a voice and even when singing this was no exception. His voice was nowhere near perfect- it croaked and broke just like everything else, but it was still so uniquely _him_ that Tadashi can't care less what he sounded like.

" _I hope that you don't mind...that I wish you were mine,"_ Tyrone's harmony was discordant and a few chuckles make there way out of Tadashi's mouth. He listens to the song all the way till the end, heartsore and eyes stinging. As Tyrone reached the climax of the song, so did Tadashi's tears. " _I've only ever thought of you, and all concepts of us...yeah we've already won, even when it's hard,"_ Tyrone's tone changed. He talked directly to the camera. "So Tadashi-"

" _Will you be mine?"_ A sob leaves Tadashi's throat before he can stop it. The video ended with Tadashi crying softly into his palms. He can't hold himself up any longer and he lies himself down longways on his bed with a hand clutching his chest.

* * *

I help make custom suits and weapons for everyone besides Tadashi. Gogo's thing is speed, so we use the wheels from her bike to connect to her outfit and use as a boomerang-like weapon and a shield. It also adds to her quickness. They're connected to her ankles, one on each foot. She struggles only a few seconds before she rides circles around the entirety of Fred's lawn in only a few seconds. Fred has a costume reminiscent of his mascot suit and all he really wanted was for it to breathe fire. He can also jump up to fifty feet high. Wasabi has a costume with laser blades coming from his forearm down passed his fingertips, two feet long, at a sharp edge. One swipe is instant destruction. Honey Lemon is putting her chemistry major to the test. She's using the purse Mn got her that day..the same week he died, to make these balls of slime that she can throw to slow or catch the enemy.

She's still a little withdrawn even now. I think catching the kabuki mask guy is helping all of us on our way to getting over what happened. Finally getting back together and seeing each other again has done us all some good.

Fred's been kind of quiet since Mn died. More passive. When he got a look at all of our costumes and inventions it was the first time in months I've seen him grin so hard.

Gogo has changed too. It's hard to describe how, exactly. She's more silent? I mean, even more than usual. And her face is always blank like she's always dazed, always thinking. But it's getting better now. Things are getting better.

Tadashi, though. He's still...Tadashi. Mourning. He won't say it but none of this is making him feel any better. He didn't like the idea of us going after the masked guy in the first place. He hasn't even tried building a suit, let alone letting me make one for him.

We're in Fred's backyard testing out our equipment when Tadashi finally shows up. I've just got done showing off Baymax's new ability, Rocket Fist, when he saunters in with a relaxed smile on his face, fully dressed in blue and red armor with silver plating. His chest and shoulder plates are silver and his abdomen is red, along with the gauntlets over his forearms and his belt. The buckle is round and silver with a square in the middle. His under armor is blue and his helmet, shoes, and the cloth under his armor over his neck are black. His helmet resembles the one for his bike, two goggles cradled the top of his head and the helmet cupped his already square jaw.

"Whoa!" Fred gaps.

"Tadashi," Honey utters.

Fred hops excitedly over to him and picks at his suit. "Dude! So cool! What does it do?"

Tadashi turns his arm over to show off the palm of his gauntlet. In the middle is a silver disk. "Stand back," he says to Fred, and then he flicks his wrist and a flame rose up from the palm of his hand.

A row of gasps follow mine.

"Tadashi, are you sure about this?" Honey asks worriedly. I walk closer to him.

"Fire is an extreme health care violation." Baymax lifts his finger behind me.

"Exposure therapy, right?" He smiles, but it wasn't half as cheery as his old ones. Never is, anymore.

Fred is grabbing onto his arm and biting his lip in excitement. Tadashi begins to explain to all of us how he made his suit but I zone out. Something's wrong. I'm not so sure what it is, but Tadashi is not acting right. Of course, he usually isn't acting right, nowadays.

This...this is an improvement. He'll be fine. He's healing.

I look to my side at Baymax, silently studying the others and I'm guessing taking in information from Tadashi.

He looks strangely still.

 **.**

Wasabi complains all the way to the island. Who knew such a big buff guy would be so scared of flying? He holds onto Baymax like a teddy bear as we make our way through the air to Akuma island. As soon as Baymax's flat feet touch the ground, we all hop off and Tadashi lands beside us, flames at the bottom of his shoes going out and dropping him to the concrete ground. He's so similar to Baymax, even in this.

Fred bounces, "Awesome! Our first landing together as a team!"

"Guys, come on," I whisper before Fred can start freaking out. We start to move forward.

"Quarantine?" Wasabi points his thumb at a sign on the gates surrounding us. He gives us an incredulous look. "Do you guys know what _quarantin_ e means?"

Baymax goes on to explain the dictionary definition to Wasabi as we ignore them and keep walking. We turn a corner and find a door.

"Be ready, he could be anywhere," I say, blocking them with an arm as we get closer to the door.

A snap.

We scream and I hide behind Baymax as everyone but the robot goes off. Gogo throwing her disk, Honey throwing her chemballs, Fred blowing out fire with Tadashi, Wasabi slashing...only to realize nothing was there but a pigeon, who all of us had somehow missed.

"That...was a bird," Fred says blankly.

"Well," Honey says, standing up straight and out of form. "At least we know our gear works!"

Seconds later Wasabi is slicing an asymmetric hole into the thick metal door. A loud bang goes off when the pieces of metal hit the ground inside. We are met with a long, dark corridor. We move through the hole and continue on as Fred starts to sing some annoying song about amulets in a basement or something. Wasabi threatens him and I shush them.

"Baymax? Any sign of him?" I ask the big marshmallow wrapped in red and purple armor.

He looks to be scanning the area. "The structure is interfering with my sensor."

"Maybe because you weren't built for this kind of work," Tadashi says pointedly. I roll my eyes.

"Uh, guys, you might want to see this." Honey says from behind us. We turn around and see her open up a door we had passed by. We walk in behind her and observe the room.

It was in pieces. Everything. We can see from the top floor railing down to the bottom floor which held a large wiry-like inverted arc and a track from this floor leading over to it. Beside it is an even bigger structure, but despite its apparent destruction, it still looks better than anything else in the room. It's a round body of machinery with an opening in the middle. It's obviously broken and pieces of it are all around on the floor. It looks just like what the Kabuki mask guy, or Krei, we think, pulled out of the ocean by the docks.

"Whoa," Tadashi says, "What happened here?"

"What do you think it is, genius?" Gogo asks from beside me.

"I'm not sure," I reply, then notice something on the side of the machine. A symbol. A red bird inside a circle. I point to it. "But look."

"You guys," Honey grabs our attention. She gestures to a room upstairs, red light seeping through the windows.

We open the door slowly but no one's inside. I walk in first. It's a control room. A few stairs in the back, and a large screen in the middle of the room. There are windows looking out over the room and a control panel in front of it with chairs that haven't been used in a while, apparently. Dust is everywhere.

I walk up to the screen that's blasting all the red light. It has the Krei tech symbol on it. I tap a button. Another screen pops up. There's a bunch of little boxes, all cameras somewhere, but only one shows anything. It's Krei, in this room, with a bunch of his employees sitting at the control panels, typing away. Krei is leaning over someone and using their computer, while some type of officer is standing behind him. They all look concerned. I press the rewind button on the panel under the screen and the pictures start to move, the different blank screens turn back on and I pause and start it back up.

Krei is talking. "We were asked to do the impossible, so we did." He's walking on the rail to the structure we saw earlier. It's not destroyed here. Its edges are lit up a bright blue and Krei is leading a couple of people to it. He proceeds to turn it on, and a swirl of dark and bright blue appears in the middle.

I can't believe it… It's a portal!

Krei takes one of his clients hats and throws it through. A man is next to the other untamed portal across from them and easily catches it.

"They mastered teleportation…" Tadashi gasps silently.

We continue to watch the footage for a few more minutes. Krei explains what their plans are and a girl is brought out in a suit. Someone, the guy he was leaning over later in the feed, said something about an irregularity to Krei, but he ignores it. A girl is put inside a machine and passes through the portal-

And then doesn't come out.

"Field breach! Abort!" Someone yells in the feed. An alarm goes off.

"Oh no," Honey and Tadashi whisper.

One of the portals explodes. Krei quickly shuts everything off and the client, or his boss or whoever, tells him to shut everything down. The girl is lost.

"The government shut down his experiment," I say.

"And he's using your microbots to steal his machine back," Honey realises.

"Krei's the one in the mask-"

"Get down!" Tadashi yells.

"Oh no," Baymax says and before we can move, before I can even _see_ what's happening, we are buried under rubble and a large rock of concrete.

I open my eyes and everyone's crouched down, coughing, and Baymax is lifting up the rock. "Baymax, get us out of here!"

He launches his rocket fist and the rock smashes down in front of us. We climb over it.

"Get the transmitter," I order them. "Behind his mask!"

Tadashi is gone already. Baymax and all of us are pushed back by a punch from _my_ microbots. Baymax is thrown back into rubble and I rush over to him while the others begin their attack. I hear Wasabi ask about a plan in a panicked voice.

I grab Baymax by the hand and pull him out, but he's stuck. I kneel above him and start moving debris with a strength I didn't even know I had. I hear wind whooshing behind me and I know just by the sound that it is Gogo. I'm finally able to get Baymax up and I turn around.

Gogo is throwing her boomerang-like disks at Krei while Tadashi is distracting him with fireballs. Both of them are fast. Their running circles around that guy, literally. When his attention is on Gogo, Tadashi hits him from the back, and vice versa. But they aren't getting any closer to him and the mask this way. Krei is getting annoyed, I can tell by the way he's moving. His arms move more erratically, the microbots switching from person to person, until finally, he squats, both hands in a fists, then punches up with both hands. Gogo and Tadashi are both enveloped in his grasp. Tadashi can't fly and Gogo's legs are trying to kick out of his/its grip.

Then Honey throws one of her chemical balls at Krei's feet and he's frozen to his spot as well. As he struggles to get out of the ice he lets go of Gogo and Tadashi. Honey catches Gogo and Baymax flies passed me, quickly catching Tadashi before he reaches the ground. I realize I should probably be fighting too and run toward them, down the stairs, over behind a column that covers me from Krei's view. Fred's beside me. He lifts a scaly finger to his huge masked lips and looks behind his column. I turn too.

Baymax is punching out one of Krei's extra hands while Wasabi is on the other side, slicing through each string of jabs. Tadashi is in the air, shooting flames at the edge of his mountain of microbots that he's using to lift himself above everyone. Something behind him is slithering up his mountain of microbots. It's blue and liquidy. Tadashi is firing at it, nonstop.

Honey. Honey's behind Krei, throwing one of her concoctions at his feet and using Tadashi's fire to harden it. She's keeping Krei in place.

Wasabi is grabbed by his foot and thrown into the air. He screams and Fred moves from behind his column and jumps up to catch him. Gogo slides underneath them, running circles around Krei and dropping some of Honey's balls by his feet. Baymax moves back, Fred drops back to the ground, let's Wasabi down, and in one smooth motion, blows fire onto the liquid surrounding the front of Krei's mountain. It hardens, and he can't move any of the microbots aside from the ones near his feet and the ones acting as his hands, albeit them being smaller than before.

Krei struggles to get out of the trap, punches the ice-like substance around him, but we have him surrounded and he's not going anywhere.

Gogo is sliding to a stop when Krei mixes both hands into one and grabs at her before she can throw one last bomb, but that doesn't stop her from swinging her wrist and letting go of her disk for one last hit. He doesn't expect it and he's hit square in the face. His fist flies up, instantly letting Gogo go, but it moves back and smashes Tadashi into the wall, hard. Tadashi drops twenty feet down to the ground as Krei flies back. I scream for Tadashi, and then for Baymax, who's quick to catch him. My microbots let go of Krei and he falls back and slides on the floor, down the stairs.

I gasp in surprise and run after him. He's on the bottom level, on his side, hand covering his face. The mask is on the floor a few feet away from him. The sound of microbots hitting the floor fills the room. I run for it and grab it before he can even get up. His back is to me.

I push the button on the side of my helmet, lifting up the face. "It's over, Krei."

He stands up slowly and looks at me. But it's not Krei. It's not...

 **.**

Tadashi blinks. Something white is clouding up his vision. It's blurry and he can barely see, but after a few seconds, it becomes clear.

Baymax. His black pads for eyes close in a blink under his thick helmet as he stares at Tadashi. "You have a minor concussion." He says in his blank voice.

Tadashi sits up, groaning and putting a hand to his head. "Where is everyone?" He glances around the room and sees the others near the railing. They are looking down at the lower floor. They gasp and Honey puts a hand over her mouth.

Tadashi struggles to get up. Baymax helps him with one arm and leads him to the railing, where he drops down to his knees and blinks hard. His head is killing him. The throbbing pain won't go away and his vision keeps blurring in and out.

Despite that, he tries to examine the situation.

Then blinks again. And wipes his eyes.

"Professor Callaghan?" He says softly.

Callaghan's glaring at Hiro, lips tightened into a line, thick grey eyebrows furrowed down.

It's him. He's not Krei. It's him. Not Krei. Callaghan. Not Krei.

Kabuki Mask guy is Callaghan.

"No, I had your microbots," Callaghan says. Callaghan, not Krei.

Tadashi can barely understand what was happening. He can't hear anything from where he was. He tightened his grip on the rail bars. It felt like a jail cell.

"...Mn...let him die..!" He hears Hiro say as Callaghan begins to step closer.

"Give me the mask, Hiro." Callaghan pulls out his hand.

Hiro backs up. "He went in there to save you!"

"That was his mistake!"

Tadashi feels his heart drop. Any hope he had that this couldn't be real, that the man before him couldn't have been doing anything as bad as they thought, that Callaghan couldn't be a bad guy, that this was just a misunderstanding, was gone. He feels for a second like he can't breathe. Air isn't making its way into his body.

Hiro's gloved hand tightens on the mask at the same time Baymax's hand grasps Tadashi's shoulder. Tadashi closes his eyes tight, fighting against a raging headache.

"How dare you?" he hears. Tadashi opens his eyes and looks at Hiro again. He can see an intense scowl on Hiro's face. "How can you say that- about one of your deceased students?" Hiro's face has gone completely red. "Mn- he ran into a _fire_ to help you! He sacrificed _himself_ to save you! Do you even care? Do you have any idea how much this has affected us?" Hiro motions behind him and Tadashi looks at Fred, with his costume head off, Honey, with her mouth covered behind her hands and her green eyes wide, Wasabi, looking down at the floor, and Gogo, her helmet covering her face. "How much this has affected Tadashi?! Do you _know_ how much they've been suffering? _Tadashi_ has been suffering?" He points at Callaghan, looking up at him, and Callaghan's gall is gone.

He takes a step back, palms faced towards Hiro, shoulders tense.

Hiro continues. "Mn- _Tyrone_ was a great man- and all you can say is that he _made a mistake_?"

"That's not my fault!" Callaghan roars.

"This is _exactly_ your fault!" Hiro roars back. "He-" Hiro's voice breaks, and he pants. Tadashi spots a tear rolling down his cheek. "Tadashi...Tadashi doesn't sleep be..because of you.." He wipes the tear off his face.

Callaghan has a pained look on his face, but he offers his hand anyway. "Hiro, give me the mask."

Hiro sniffs before opening his mouth to say something, but stops when something yellow comes into view, goes right past him.

A loud crack bounces off the bare metal walls.

Gogo's right hand is over her left shoulder and Callaghan's nose is now pointed to his side.

Tadashi, Hiro, the group, are all in stunned silence. Callaghan's face is turned away from her, his eyes are wide, his mouth parted, and a red hand-shaped bruise is forming on his left cheek.

"Jail isn't even suited for a monster like you." Gogo stands up straight, retained anger in her voice. "But it's where you're going."

"Baymax, contact the authorities," Tadashi mumbles, eyes not straying off the scene before him.

Callaghan is still until Gogo says that. His face contorts in anger and he moves so quick, Tadashi could have blinked and missed it. Gogo's on the floor, slides so far she hits a column. Honey and Fred gasp her name and Callaghan is gaining on Hiro.

"If he had to die so that I could get my Abby back then _so be it_!" He growls. And that sets Hiro off. The regret on Hiro's face instantly drops and instead he scowls again, pulling off his helmet and dropping it on the floor. Then to Tadashi's surprise, he puts the mask on.

Tadashi blanks out. He's filled with the sudden urge to scream, tell Hiro _no, stop, don't_ but his vision goes black. It's only seconds later when he realizes the ringing in his head isn't from the headache, and the fact that he can't see isn't because of the concussion.

Microbots swarm around Hiro.

"No!" Wasabi screams and jumps down to stop him. Baymax leaves Tadashi's side to help. Fred and Honey notice late when trying to help Gogo up. It's a team effort but they're all trying to stop Hiro before he kills Callaghan.

Hiro grabs Callaghan by the foot and tosses him across the room, but Gogo is up to catch him. Wasabi tries to jump Hiro but the microbots push him back. All Tadashi can do is stare. He tries to get to his feet but his legs are too heavy, his head feels like it weighs a ton, his vision goes red, and the next moment he's on his knees again. He's panting, can't get up. He throws his helmet off but it doesn't do much help. The cool air around him makes him feel a bit better, but he still can't stand.

But Hiro needs him.

"Hiro! Stop it!" Honey grabs his arm and tries to pull him back, but the kid is unstoppable. He has Callaghan pinned to a wall by his neck using the microbots. Honey throws a pink bomb at the arm of the bots and Baymax slams into it, breaking the microbots hold on Callaghan. The man falls and is caught once again, this time by Fred.

"Stop _stopping_ me!" Hiro yells.

"No! You can't do this! This is not what Mn wants!" Honey exclaims, both arms trying to pull him back. Gogo holds onto Hiro's other arm.

"Who cares!"

"This is not what _I_ want!" A voice stops Hiro's every movement. His legs still, the microbots come to a pause. Everyone looks up at the railing where Tadashi's head is poking out behind the bars. His arm is through one set of them, as if trying to reach them. Bags are under his eyes as he says, "Hiro! Stop…" his voice is weak, tired. He's barely able to say the word stop without it sounding all breathy.

But Hiro does.

Gogo snatches the mask off his face and throws it to Fred, who catches it easily and throws it on the ground with one hand, the other wrapped around Callaghan's neck. The mask breaks in half, then Fred stomps it a few times for good measures. The microbots have all fallen to the ground once again, lifeless.

Tadashi passes out.

 **.**

Baymax lands in front of Hiro as the girls let him go.

"What was that?" Gogo glares at him.

Hiro barely glances at her. "Why'd you stop me?" His low voice demands as he picks up his helmet. He steps toward Baymax. "How far are the cops?"

"This was _not_ what we signed up for." Wasabi crosses his arms.

"They are on their way now." Baymax says matter of factly.

"How far?" Hiro asks louder, angry.

"My enhanced scanner has been damaged."

Hiro cried out in annoyance. "I never should have let you guys help me." He said as he climbs onto Baymax's back. "Baymax, wings!"

"What? Where are you going?" Gogo exclaims.

"Fly!" And they take off, forgetting the others.

 **.**

I slam my helmet onto my work table, grab the step up ladder, and move it onto the floor in front of Baymax. I step up it and forcefully pull Baymax's helmet off. I move to my table and start working on fixing it.

"You're blood pressure is elevated." Baymax says from behind me. "You appear to be distressed."

"I'm fine."

"I was under the impression that your goal was completed. Apprehending the Kabuki Mask guy, AKA Callaghan, should have improved your mood."

"Yeah, well, it didn't." I unplug the helmet and walk back over to Baymax. I put the helmet back on his head. "There. Is it working?"

"My sensor is operational."

"Good." I step back down and pull out my chair from my table, plopping down.

"A common way to get rid of stress is to-"

"Look, I don't need your help, ok?" I flatten my lips and lean back more in my seat, spreading my legs and bouncing my feet on the pavement, adrenaline still running through me. "Just leave me alone. Why are you still here?"

"Are you satisfied with your care?"

"Why do you care?" I glare at my blank computer monitor, push my cheek harder into my own fist. "I'm not your problem."

"As your personal healthcare companion, it is my job to-"

"Can you shut up?" I kick the bottom of my desk and roll back in my chair, standing up and pacing the room. My legs shake, I'm so irritated. I wipe the sweat off the side of my face. "Why do you keep bothering me? You belong to Tadashi- so why are you _always_ looking over me?"

"I-"

I turn to him, walk up to him, grind my teeth. "You come into my life and destroy everything I've built up. _You_ take up all my brother's time, and expect me to just _accept you_? Why did I stand up for you? Why are you still bothering me even now? When you're supposed to be with _him_!" I can't take it anymore. Before I know it I'm punching him right in the stomach. He doesn't move, doesn't quiver, doesn't react. Nothing. It just makes me want to hit him more. "You left him! You left and you didn't even say goodbye! Did you ever think about how that would make him feel?" I punch him after every thought. "No. One. Told. You. To. Run. Into. The. Fire!" I pull the red armor off his fat belly before continuing where I left off. "You're supposed to take care of him! Why would you propose to him if you weren't even going to stay?" I don't stop until I'm out of breath and my arms hurt. I pant, gasp, but it doesn't help me any. My anger turns into physical exhaustion. I rest my head on his round, soft belly. "He's lost without you, why would you leave when he needed you the most…?" I sniff. "What am I doing…? You're gone…"

"But, _you_ are the one who left Tadashi." I fix my gaze on his face. Baymax. This is Baymax. I furrow my eyebrows up at him. "At the island. With the others."

I did, didn't I? I left him. _I_ was suppose to have his back.

I laugh weakly.

"Mn is here." Baymax says in his calm and collected voice, as always.

I lay my head on his belly again and smile as much as I can muster. "No, he's not."

"Mn is here." He says again, and this time a light appears behind my eyelids. I open my eyes and see as much as I hear my brother talking to me.

No, not to me. To Baymax.

"This is Tadashi Hamada," he says directly to the camera. He's holding one of those movie clapboard things. "and this is the first test of my robotics project."

"What…" I mumble.

Tadashi presses a button near the screen and looks hopefully at the camera.

A voice. "Hi, I am Baymax-" the screen messes up and Tadashi's hopeful face turns into one of fear as Baymax's arm starts hitting Tadashi and pops off, flying across the room. Tadashi quickly turns him off and the video switches. It's Tadashi again, in another outfit.

"The seventh test of my robotics project,"

And it keeps going. Baymax switches the video every time it goes wrong. He skips around the videos until we reach one where Tadashi looks extra tired. He has bags under his eyes and a five o'clock shadow. He doesn't even finish his sentence before the lights go off.

The very next second a light is shining into the camera and Mn's face appears.

I gasp.

He looks so different- no, not different.

Alive.

His dark grey eyes look so bright after all this time. He's biting his bottom lip and his eyebrows are thick and furrowed up. It's like he's looking straight at me.

Tadashi appears beside him. "You ok?"

"Yeah," Dang, I forgot how deep his voice was. He's squinting at Baymax. Tadashi looks at me too, before Mn hands him the flashlight and moves out of view.

"I'm not giving up on you," he says. "You don't know this yet, but people need you. Now let's get back to work."

"This is Tadashi Hamada for the 84th-" Tadashi looked at his prop, rubbing the side of his face. He huffed, "test.." then looked at the camera, smiled, and pressed on Baymax. "What do you say, big guy?"

"Hello, I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion."

Tadashi's eyes grew wide. "It works...you work!" He bounced around the room, screaming, and kissed Baymax's face. His lips left a mark on the camera. "I can't believe it, you- you work! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" He cheered.

I couldn't help but smile. He was such a dork, even then. It's been awhile since I've seen him smile like that.

He has Baymax scan him and Baymax says that Tadashi is happy.

"I am! I really am!" Tadashi grins at him. "Oh man, wait until my brother sees you."

Something warm and wet runs down my cheek. I hadn't even realized I'd been crying.

"That's all for now, I am satisfied with my care." And the video feed ends with him smiling into the camera.

I sigh and wipe the tears off my face.

I'm surprised to hear it continue. "Hello, I am your personal healthcare companion."

I return my gaze to Baymax's belly again, but this time I'm met with the surprised look on Mn's face.

"He works," Mn said, astonished.

"He works." Tadashi said from a few feet behind him, knowing smile on his face. He could never stop smiling back then. He's wearing a different shirt, meaning this was a different day.

"He works!" Mn exclaimed, turning to Tadashi. My brother's grin widened as Mn hugged him, and then kissed him.

And keeps kissing him.

...Are they going to stop?

Ok, I think as Mn finally pulls back, then grins hard, showing off his deep dimples.

"He works!" And Mn picked him up and spun him around. Tadashi laughed, holding onto the back of Mn's head as they moved around the room.

Mn lost balance and fell back. I cringe.

"Ow…" Comes from the ground, definitely Mn.

Tadashi laughed at him and gets back up from the ground, pulling Mn up with him. "Are you ok?"

"On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?" Baymax asked. Mn brought his attention back to him, moving back in front of the robot. He's wearing a white shirt with orbs moving from biggest to smallest in a circle.

"Uh, a three?"

"I will scan you now." Baymax said. A moment of pause. "Scan completed."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that." Tadashi said smugly from behind him, arms crossed.

Next video.

"I met Tyrone from a convention, actually. It was Fred's birthday and he had told us- me, Gogo, Honey Lemon, and Wasabi- that he'd just recently got in contact with an old high school friend and that he was inviting him to come. We all were expecting some raging comic book enthusiast or conspiracy theorist type guy and...no, that's not what we got. Um," Tadashi was sitting down on a chair, hands clasped over his knees. He's using Baymax as a diary? "He's a nerd, of course, but we all are. Anyway, we met at one of Fred's conventions and he introduced all of us and then we went around the building all day. Went to some panels, ate some cotton candy, bought Fred some gifts he wanted, all that, and then-"

Tadashi laughed. "Wasabi got sick off some candy and threw up in the bathroom, but we didn't know that and we thought we just lost him! But we were in line to get Fred a signature from some comic book artist Fred loves when they decided to go look for him, so Fred had me and Ty stay in line for him. They were gone for like, an hour, and me and Ty started talking," he smiled to himself and looked down at his lap. "I was mildly attracted to him. He was interesting. It wasn't a crush or anything yet, but I was curious about him."

Baymax skips forward.

"We started hanging out just the two of us and he started telling me more about Frederick- his project- and I was completely charmed by then-" Baymax skips forward again. "He asked me out-" skip. "And….yeah." Tadashi shrugged and held eye contact with Baymax, almost expectantly.

The scene changed. It was late at night, Tadashi's eyes were red and he was wearing a different outfit, with his trademarked cardigan and white shirt with a cursive D in the middle. His cheeks were tear-streaked.

"You appear to be sad." Baymax said in the video.

Tadashi sighed deeply and wiped his face. He looked miserable. "Yeah...Hiro doesn't like him."

 _Him_. Oh no, Tadashi…

"It's stupid, but," Tadashi's gaze is anywhere but Baymax. "I really wanted him to like Ty, ya know?"

"It is common to want to build healthy relationships among friends and family." Baymax said matter of factly.

Tadashi laughed weakly. "Right? Guess I waited too long. It's not like I don't know _why_ , I know Hiro's not homophobic, but I thought it wouldn't be such a big deal, ya know?"

"How is that not a big deal?" I exclaim at the screen, then close my mouth shut. It's not like he can hear me.

"It feels stupid to cry about, but I don't know, a dam just broke, I think?" Tadashi ran a hand through his black hair. "I mean, it's not stupid. But it, this entire situation is frustrating. I should have told him earlier."

The video is switched to yet another one, but now it's Mn standing there, looking upset. It feels different though. The air around him seems way more tense.

He's holding something in his hand. A ring was shining on his left hand.

My heart starts to race. This was before the fire! He's wearing that shirt with the looping circles.

"On a scale-"

"There's not enough time, Baymax."

"You seem to be in distress," Baymax said. Mn gave him a tired look mixed with sympathy.

"I need you to do something for me, Baymax." He held out a piece of paper. "Hide this, and don't tell anybody you saw me up here. Seventy-seven days from now, around noon, the space-time continuum whatever is _probably_ going to be all out of wrack, people are going to be in a state of confusion, most likely, and it'll be two weeks after Big Hero 6 has defeated Callaghan."

I freeze. A chill runs down my spine as I run through his words again and again.

 _Big hero 6? Defeats Callaghan? Who's big hero 6?_

I automatically start counting names: _Honey, Wasabi, Fred, Gogo, me, and Tadashi._ I look up at Baymax, who looks down at me, almost curiously, despite only having one expression. _And Baymax, that's seven._

I realize I've stopped listening to the video. Mn is kneeling down under Tadashi's desk. He's putting a piece of paper inside one of the folders in the blue basket underneath the table.

"Tadashi never looks through here," he mumbled to himself. I'm not sure if he meant for Baymax to catch that or not. He stood back up and clapped his hands free of dust. His eyes meet mine. "I don't have much time," Mn's eyes glance to the door on the other side of the room. He sighed and looked back at me, at Baymax. "Tell Tadashi...I love him," His eyes start to tear up, but he blinks the emotions away, swipe his feelings across the carpet. His hand is pulling a string out of his pocket. No, not a string, _earplugs_. "And that I _will_ see him again. I promise him that."

"Hiro!" I turn at the sound of my name and see that Gogo is running towards me. I double take and reach for Baymax to turn off the recording, but I'm already faced with a white, plushy torso.

I turn to her as everyone else walks in behind her. She pulls me into a hug.

"Are you ok?" She whispers.

I nod into her chest. She's just tall enough to lay her head atop mine.

"Callaghan's caught," She says, pulling away. "The cops and ambulance arrived shortly after you left."

"Aye, but maybe don't leave your team stranded on a spooky island next time?" Wasabi suggested from beside her. The others were crowding around me, excluding Tadashi, I notice.

I groan. "I'm so dumb," I facepalm myself.

"Nah, it's cool. Heathcliff brought us here on the family chopper." Fred smiles, as if that's a normal thing that just _happens_.

"And Tadashi?"

"The helicopter took him to the hospital," Wasabi says. "He should be there by now."

"Then we have to go see him-" I begin to walk towards the entrance of my garage when Honey puts her hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Hiro," Honey moves closer, holding something out in her hand. A USB. "I think you should see this first."

.

I've decided that I don't want them to see the video Mn left behind, despite the fact that they're the ones who probably need to see it the most. It's confusing, but I feel like he _wouldn't_ want them to know. The video was obviously meant for Tadashi. At first, it seems like Mn's talking only to Baymax, but he's giving him instructions he surely knew Baymax couldn't carry out on his own. He gave Tadashi the USB with all the playlists on it so that he'd be reminded of the videos they have together in Baymax's archive recordings. Tadashi was meant to find the video and help Baymax carry it out. But to do what?

I've watched the video more than ten times by now. I watched it all night the day I saw it, then all day the next day after I saw the news that morning.

"Big Hero 6!" They called us from the TV in the Lucky Cat Cafe. I stopped in my tracks, halting right in the middle of the cafe, to watch the news channel. People mumbled around me as they too were curious about the new superhero team.

A video, cast from a high definition camera, showed us inside the old building on Akuma Island fighting off a masked Callaghan and his mountain of microbots. Tadashi, masked, was streaming flames onto the back of Callaghan as Baymax and Wasabi fought off his tentacle-like microbots. The camera moved around a lot, like the person was jumping, and sometimes the view was hidden behind a column.

A column. Fred. Of course.

The phone is put up against the column as Gogo runs around Callaghan, and then Fred in his monster suit comes into view, jumping high and then coming back down, blowing fire onto the liquid goo Gogo had just thrown down. I'm not in the video.

 _Big hero 6_

Mn was right. He somehow saw into the future. But how?

I've been thinking about it for a week now. Tadashi came back from the hospital today. It was only a minor concussion so he was able to recover pretty quick. I'm thinking about telling him. I'm running out of time. Mn said two weeks after we defeated Callaghan, and a week has gone by already but I still don't understand _anything._

I need Tadashi for this. I just don't know if he'll be up for another adventure. He'll tell aunt Cass and get me grounded so I won't be able to suit up ever again. I know I went too far with Callaghan, but what he _said_ just-

If I'm gonna do this alone I need to get into Tadashi's lab without him noticing. He's already recovering from his first concussion, he wouldn't even be physically able to help with this. Baymax gave me the map Mn gave him. It's a map to the dump. And it has all these drawings on it, like a dog with wings, and a pizza box, and a square with a fedora on its head and three eyes, and I'm sure it's some kind of code of inside jokes. The dog with wings is suppose to be a "wagon" or "Smith" or whatever we called it, I know that. And that cartoon Reality Shifts or whatever. The rest I don't get.

I go to class, finally, after two weeks of skipping to build weapons and suits for everyone. And train. Lots and lots of training. I can't think. My mind always wanders to the clues, to Mn, to this whole thing that's been happening. It's all just some conspiracy, isn't it? Even when dead Mn still finds some way to annoy me.

Mn, who knew the future.

Mn, who broke my brother's heart for some stupid puzzle game.

Mn, who's obsessed with the number 84.

84 is the number of tries it took for Tadashi to get Baymax to work, and also the number of days since the week before he died up until the space time anomaly starts. But what happened the week before he died? We went to the arcade, Gogo's birthday passed, he proposed to Tadashi…What else happened? It couldn't have been just a coincidence.

After class I take the elevator up a level to Mn's lab. No one bats an eye when I open the door to Mn's old room and close it behind me.

The room is completely empty. Nada. It looks just like Tadashi's room, except vacant. No furniture, no desks, no bookcases. Just white walls and dusty floors. I guess it has been practically three months since he's been gone. Of course they would clean out the room. They need it for upperclassmen. He died on SFIT land; they don't want his stuff here. It's probably at his house...or in Tadashi's room.

I bite my lip, then sigh. This is gonna be a lot harder than I originally thought, and even before now I thought it would be difficult.

A door opens. "Hiro?" It's Tadashi. "What are you doing here?"

I sigh again, quietly, so he doesn't hear me, then turn around and face him. He's wearing one of Mn's shirts. I know because he's never worn it before and it looks like something Mn would wear. And the engagement ring.

Mn, always haunting us from the afterlife.

"I'm just, uh…" I scratch at a itch behind my ear. Why was he even here? "Taking a look around. Remembering stuff. It doesn't matter, why are you here?"

"I, uh, I come here to think." His eyes glance at the floor and his face sort of arranges into a pout. His eyes reach back up to mine and he tries but fails to clear his face. "Have you seen Baymax, by any chance?"

Oh yeah, so I basically stole my brother's invention. Baymax always follows me around now, ever since we found out about Callaghan and I saw that video of Mn. He's stuck to me like a piece of tape. It's not like I mind, though. He's good company. It feels, I don't know, right? Somehow? I just don't question it.

"No, I have no idea." I start to move passed him, exit the door. I shoot a finger gun at him as I leave. "Have you checked your lab?"

"I don't think-" Tadashi starts, but I'm already halfway down the hall.

 **.**

It doesn't take long for him to find me out. He catches me rummaging through the box full of his- _Mn's_ things.

"What're you doing?" Tadashi's leaning against the wall with my robot poster on it, arms crossed and a sort of smug expression on his face, like he was thinking _yeah! I finally caught you!_

"Uhh," I stumble like an idiot. I should really start planning these things out.

"We are looking for a paper Mn left behind for us!" Baymax says as I try to shush him and tell him to stop. He doesn't, obviously, and it's too late. Tadashi's peeved and demands we tell him what's going on.

And then, only a hour later, we're on our way to the Evans house.

If I knew he would handle it like this I would've got his help earlier! Of course Tadashi would want to help, Mn's his soulmate!

Tadashi swerves into the driveway of a Victorian house so quick I feel like I've gotten whiplash. He's out of the car before I can even release my seat belt. He's at the door before I can take off Baymax's. By the time I've reached him, Chase is already at the door. A baby is giggling somewhere behind him.

"Tadashi! Nice to see you," he says, all genuine.

"I'm sorry I didn't call first. We were kinda in a hurry." Tadashi says.

Chase is smiling as his eyes flash to the side. He watches as Baymax waddles up next to me. "No, that's ok." He lifts up a eyebrow at Baymax and he looks like he wants to laugh. "Gonna introduce me to your friend here?"

"Oh!" Tadashi looks back at Baymax, like he forgot he was there.

"I am Baymax," Baymax introduces himself before Tadashi can. "I am a personal healthcare companion."

Chase's honey brown eyes light up. They're like pools of caramel. "Oh! Filnic, I mean Tyrone, told me about you! You're so cute!" He looks the robot up and down. "And big!"

Filnic? Was that his old name?

 _It sounds exactly like the country I'm from._

Finland! He's from Finland! Does that even count as Scandinavia? And Filnic? How was I supposed to guess that?

"Thank you," Baymax says politely.

Tadashi laughs. And it surprises me because he barely laughs anymore. It sounds so sincere. "That's sorta what we came for. Tyrone, that is."

Chase lets us in and asks us if we want to stay for dinner. Tadashi politely declines and Chase leads us up to the attic. I wouldn't of minded dinner, but it doesn't account to me until later that he probably didn't want to spend any more time at his dead fiance's house than he had to.

Mn's house is big, but that might just be because we live in a cafe and sleep in what's basically a decorated attic because there's only one room, a kitchen/living room, and one bathroom. This house was meant for multiple people. There are four bedrooms, I count, and the living room is bigger than our cafe.

Kachi pokes his head out of one of the rooms as we pass by. He says a quick greeting and shuts his door back. Chase's husband is cooking dinner downstairs and his kid, Canba, I think, is in the living room watching kids' learning cartoons.

It strikes me that Mn's invention would have stopped the need for that.

I shake my head and help Baymax up the latter into the attic. It's old and dusty, except for the boxes full of Mn's stuff. Everything else looks untouched. The floor has been swept, but empty spider webs hang from the corners of the ceiling.

Chase turns on a light, says something else, then leaves us to search through the masses.

Or, well, I say masses but it turns out only a few of his things are up here. He didn't have a lot. Tadashi said most of Mn's technological equipment was donated to SFIT or thrown out. His clothes were packed here, donated, or given to Tadashi. And he's a guy, so he didn't have many clothes to begin with. He wasn't much of a fashionable person.

His personal belongings, journals and old high school math notebooks, and sketches of Frederick and other projects are spread around in other boxes. Tadashi, Baymax, and me get to work.

Baymax is painfully slow, but he can't help it. Tadashi, though, he can't seem to slow down. He's going through boxes and folders like a ravenous wolf. Or Smith. I, on the other hand, find myself analyzing every single thing of his. There are drawings he kept from when he was young mixed in with some of his schematics. From the style, he was probably a five-year-old or younger. They're all 3d stick figures with slanted lines as hair. One drawing is clearly of him and his mother. He's wearing overalls and his hair is colored dark brown and over his forehead, like it is now, or, not now, but when he was alive and ever since I met him. He's holding hands, which are only two nubs, with a dark-skinned woman with long brunette hair. Her eyes are big and round.

I put the drawing back and pick another one out of the folder. It's a photograph of him and his mom. It's professionally made, in a studio or something. Mn is maybe seven or eight years old and he's sitting in his mother's lap. His mouth is covered by a black mask you'd wear if you were sick, and both he and his mom are gazing at the camera.

She really is pretty. Side by side, they do really look alike, with their chubby cheeks and wide almond-shaped eyes. I guess that's where he got his looks from.

I put the picture back behind the drawing and keep searching.

 **.**

Baymax is the one who finds it first; the note Mn left behind. Me and Tadashi gather around him as he holds it on the tips of his fingers awkwardly. It's an index card with a drawing and some numbers on the unlined side.

The drawing was of a portal, much like Krei's teleportation one back on Akuma Island, and under it was the subtitle _Fredrick_.

I heard Tadashi gasp from the other side of Baymax.

Under Fredrick was a date and time. This time I was the one who gasped. The date was the day of the showcase, only minutes before the explosion. I knew because it was documented all over social media, on Whotube, and in all the articles that came out on the news the next day.

When I was there, what time it was wasn't really my priority.

So he really _did_ know the future. It keeps hitting me.

Tyrone Nial Evans was a time-traveler.

 **.**

Tadashi, Baymax, and I fly to the school the next morning. Tadashi quickly finds the paper Mn left for him in the basket underneath his desk. We're in a sense of urgency. More than a week has passed already, and if we're gonna fix whatever Mn messed up, we gotta hurry and get all the clues.

Why would he do this anyway? Just to be bothersome? He couldn't have just put all of this in one place or, I don't know, _told us that he was a time traveler?_ It's hard to believe but it's better than dying in a fire. How long has he been time-traveling? Has this been his project all along? Fredrick being a time-traveling machine? I'm surprised he didn't tell Tadashi. Guess my brother wasn't the only one keeping secrets.

But then again, if he knew it was Callaghan who started the fire, then why did he go in there to save him? It was a distraction and he knew it, so why..? If he hadn't gone in there, everyone would still be alive. Tadashi and the guys wouldn't have this pain down their throats. If he hadn't gone, then everyone would've been happy. He could've gotten married to my brother, graduated SFIT, built a learning device instead of a time-traveling machine.

But if he hadn't gone in...would someone else had? I remember that night vividly. I was thanking Tadashi for helping me, and then the alarm went off. He stopped some student and she told him that Callaghan was still in there. Then he...then Tadashi tried to run in..

Tadashi tried to save Callaghan, and then Mn appeared. Mn, the time-traveler. Mn, who just wanted to make learning easier, who spent the entire week trying to warm up to me, who proposed to my brother and then died three days later.

Mn, who saved my brother's life.

On the paper were directions on how to build Fredrick. We got straight to work. We go to the dump and pray that none of Fredrick has been crushed into a ball or recycled. There are so many parts to find, and the map doesn't make that much sense. And then Tadashi looks at it and laughs, then cries, because he gets all the references. The pizza box- Cici's pizza. C.C, the nickname we made for Tadashi. The Reality Shifts character he used to watch with Tadashi. The Wagon inside joke. Or Smith. Whatever. There's even a picture of one of the robots from Electro-Beam, which I didn't notice until last minute was for me to understand. I didn't pay it any attention because I thought Tadashi would get it, but then I really looked at it, and something burst. I don't know, it was something I hadn't really felt before. It hurt. A lot.

I wouldn't let Tadashi see me cry. I can't let him have that satisfaction. But Baymax was nice enough to hug me until I got it all out. I really love that robot.

We went through the dump for most of the day and it wasn't until eight o'clock at night that we found everything we were looking for. Wires hidden under one of Tyrone's Reality Shifts hoodies. Tadashi mentions that he'd been wondering where that went. Fortunately, it was somehow intact after practically three months. I mean, yeah, it was dirty as all heck, but we could recognize it still. Then there was a statue of a dog and a dragon. To mini ones you got at an old antique store. The dog was small and broken while the dragon stood tall and unharmed atop a large piece of metal. Cici's pizza boxes were everywhere, which is why it took us most of the day to actually find which spot was the one on the map or not. Gosh, we smelled like skunks by the time we got home. And then an Electro-Beam mecha action figure held the rest of the machinery we were looking for.

We were tired. Lost probably fifty pounds after carrying all that stuff back to the truck we borrowed from the school. We slept that night and then tried to store that energy for the rest of the week.

It takes a few days of sleepless nights, caffeine, and fifteen-minute naps to finish building Fredrick. The end of the week is here and it's five in the morning when we are finally done.

I can barely keep my eyes open, can barely move from this bean bag chair. I look over at Tadashi who's lying on the ground beside me, cuddled up on Baymax's stomach. I'm so tired, just blinking almost lures me to sleep, and this guy thinks he can just take a nap?

I call over to him as loud as I can while dying of exhaustion. He doesn't stir. I kick him. His head bounces off the pillow as he's startled awake.

"It's morning. We gotta keep going or we're gonna miss our chance." I say, and for a second it's like he doesn't even hear what I say, he just squints at me like he can't see, then sniffles and looks behind him at the machine blocking the window. It smells bad in here, we haven't showered in days. I've stopped noticing it until now because I've barely been alive these past few hours, but now my senses are coming back to me.

Tadashi tries getting up but he slips off Baymax and a loud slap of his hand on the white marble floor startles me. Baymax says something about safety. Once Tadashi gathers himself we both get up and shuffle to the large machine. It looks just like the picture Mn made. I yawn and cover my mouth as I look out the window. It's around seven now, I think, because people are coming into the lab from outside. What exact time is noon anyway?

My vision blurs and I close my eyes for a few seconds then open them again. The people outside look like they're stuttering, I'm so tired. I blink a couple more times, trying to get the sleepiness out of my eyes as Tadashi works on turning on the machine. It took us days of rewiring and fixing Fredrick for it to finally turn on. A blue portal appeared in the middle of the heptagon when we were finally able to make it work. Relief rushed through me so hard I didn't even have time to be amazed. I think I passed out.

I'm blinking, yet the students outside, walking down the walkway to the robotics lab, are still buffering, like a Whotube video. They're moving closer, buffering, then appear a few steps forward, like time is rebooting itself.

Oh gosh, is time rebooting itself?

"Tadashi," I say with urgency. He looks at me with bags under his eyes. "It's time."

His expression screws into one of concern and he moves around Fredrick to stand next to me. Baymax comes up behind him.

"Oh no," he whispers. "Tyrone, what did you do..?"

 _He saved you_ , I stop myself from saying.

"We gotta get this boy turned on," I say, grabbing his attention. We nod at each other and get to work on turning Fredrick on.

The others have no idea what's going on. We didn't tell them and weirdly enough they haven't asked us what we've been up to either. They've texted every little while and we try to text back as casually as we can. We don't want them to know what's happening yet. If something goes wrong we both left a note, signed by us and given to Baymax. He's staying here. Not that we have any doubts, but both Krei and Mn's portals obviously didn't work the way they expected them too. But for me and Tadashi?

Well, the Hamada brothers have gotten through everything so far, we're not turning back now.

And also...Mn promised.

"Tadashi, now," I say. He clicks a button on the remote connected to Fredrick. It lights up blue, and at the top is the date and time of the fire. I sigh in relief.

Tadashi comes to stand beside me, right in front of the portal. "This is it. It's now or never." He looks at me, smiling. I look back at him.

"Tadashi, I love you."

He ruffles my hair. "I love you too, little bro." Then he turns back around to Baymax. "Baymax, take care of everyone else, alright? This is my last request."

"Yes, Tadashi. Are you satisfied with your care?" Baymax asks, for the last time.

Tadashi sniffs, but I can't tell whether he's crying or not. "Yes. Yes, I'm satisfied with my care."

 **.**

Tadashi takes my hand with his free one and together, we step into the portal.

 **.**

" _The truth is, I hate this suit. I hated shooting fire or being near it, being the_ cause _of it... And I hated flying. Flying is supposed to feel freeing, but all I could think of was Tyrone handing me that ring case before rushing into the fire. I hate what fire represents. But I wear it to remember. As tribute. Because I have to let that go."_

Tadashi said that to me the day he got out of the hospital from his concussion. That's the first thing I think of when everything goes black, then fiery red.

The first thing I _feel_ , however, is nausea. I feel bile crawling up my throat and I heave but nothing comes up. It's hot. Deathly hot. I feel like I'm being choked to death for a second-

And then I can see.

I'm inside the showcase hall with fire licking at my face. I'm standing right next to it, as it slowly reaches the door. Smoke is everywhere, but I can see clearly. The fire is going so slow I barely notice it moving. But it is. I move away from it and notice Tadashi out of the side of my eye.

He's standing next to the door, right next to Mn.

Mn, alive. Here. In the flesh.

He's leaning against the door, ankle crossed over the other, head leaning back and relaxed expression on his face, like he's just chilling outside an old building, enjoying the breeze. He has earplugs on.

I move closer. Tadashi's hand is on his cheek.

"Oh, Mn..." I faintly hear him say.

"Tadashi?" I call, reminding him. He looks back at me, pain clear on his face, before he turns back to Mn and wraps an arm around his waist. I come up next to Tadashi and touch his shoulder. "You ready?"

He nods, not looking at me. "Yeah," he puts his arm around my shoulder and then presses the button on the remote in his hand.

.

We're pushed back out of Fredrick, right into Tadashi's lab. We fall in a pile onto the floor. Mn lands on Tadashi and I land next to him.

I raise onto my knees and look over at the two, but Mn's unconscious. Tadashi groans, moving Mn off him and sitting up on his knees as well. His eyes immediately land on Mn.

He gasps and turns Mn on his back, who's limp, and I'm not sure if he's breathing.

My heart spikes because what if he's _not breathing_.

My fears are allayed when Mn's eyes flash open, his irises wide and grey, like a storm cloud. But then he starts screaming, harshly, madly, like he's being tortured.

I try to move to help him, see what's wrong, but I can't. My body is frozen.

He's arching his back in pain, his feet sliding up and off the floor.

"What's wrong with him?"

"His arm!" Tadashi's holds his hand and gets on top of him, holding him down while simultaneously showing me his arm. It's fading, like, actually phasing in and out of translucency.

"I have contacted the ambulance," a voice says from behind me. Baymax is standing there with an image of a telephone rocking back and forth on his stomach.

"Baymax!" I say, glad to see him. Mn's still screaming and someone's knocking at the door. I pay it no attention and look passed Baymax to Fredrick, then back to Mn.

"That's it!" I rush to my feet.

"What?" Tadashi asks, rocking Mn back and forth, whispering consoling things to him as he grasps onto his still fading arm. Marks are appearing on his arm, but they aren't like tattoos or birthmark or something magical.

They're burn marks. His body is still somehow connected to the past, still in that room.

"Baymax! Help me destroy this thing!" I start pulling at wires, but it's not shutting off.

"What's going on in there?" Someone's yelling outside, pounding on the door.

"Would that stabilize your emotions?" Baymax asks, calm as always.

"Yes, Baymax, yes!" I cry as I pull at the stubborn machine's edge.

Baymax appears on the other side of Fredrick and helps me pull the machine apart. I'm really lucky he can lift one thousand pounds or this would've taken a lot longer.

The door bursts open as soon as I drop the last piece of the machine to the ground. The portal closes and Mn has stopped screaming.

Someone else screams instead. At the door is a crowd of people but the one closest to us has horror on her face. There are machine parts and it's debris all around us, and I'm too relieved that Mn's ok to worry about having to clean this back up later.

That is, until I see that she's staring at Mn.

Tadashi's breathing really hard. He's covering most of Mn's body from view from where I'm standing, but I can see his arm poking out from under Tadashi, limp and covered in blood. His wounds are bleeding all over the floor, creating a puddle.

"Someone call the ambulance!"

"They're on their way!"

"Oh no, oh no, oh no-"

As people start to rush in and out of the room, trying their best to help, and Baymax works on securing the wound before the ambulance gets here, I feel the bile from before finally come all the way up.

.

The first thing I notice is that it smells like a hospital. I should be used to this by now, but I still hate it.

The second thing I notice is that I'm not dead. I was sure that I was gonna-... I thought my plan wouldn't work, and that I'd die in that building a hero. Tadashi's hero.

But then I'm glad to be alive.

But then the third thing I notice is that I can't see. And then I open my eyes.

It's white, and blurry...yup, a hospital room. It smells acrid and medicinal and like death. Iron too. It usually smells of iron. But that might just be a memory.

I trace the ceiling, what I guess is the ceiling, over to the wall, and then I really see. Tadashi's sitting there, asleep. He has his head on top of his crossed arms on the side of my bed. I can hear him lightly snoring. He looks beaten down and exhausted. He has bags under his eyes like an old man.

I laugh through my nose, then get really conscious of my breathing. Cause what if this is fake and these are my last few breaths? What if I _am_ about to die but it's just later than when I expected?

Absentmindedly, I move my hand to sit on top of his head.

And the fourth thing I notice is that my arm is wrapped all the way up to my shoulder, and then pain rushes through me.

It's like a fire, quick and unexpected, hits me full force, scratches, _tears_ at my skin, into my veins. I feel like I'm gonna throw up, nausea runs over me. It feels like someone peeled back my skin and put hot sauce on it. It's a gnawing, stabbing pain that makes me scream at the top of my lungs.

Tadashi wakes up, I think, and people, nurses, pour in through the door. They try to put a mask on me, and they're saying something I can't hear, but I can't let them touch me. It'll make it worse. It'll hurt more.

They're gonna suffocate me!

I thrash my face side to side, trying to stop them from touching my face. One of them grabs me by my chin and holds me down and I try and fail to bite them. I see Tadashi out of the corner of my eye, being pushed out by a nurse or doctor or whomever. I reach out for him but only more pain reaches back. He's fighting to stay in, hand reaching out for me as well, his eyes drawn to mine, but then the mask goes over my nose and mouth, and fog clouds my vision right before everything goes black.

⌚⏳⌛.

Tadashi tells me what happened after I've calmed down. It takes a few days. He's been catching up on sleep along with Hiro. Everyone else visits me first, after I'm stable enough to be allowed to finally have guests. Chase and Kachi are first, of course. As always. I can barely tell them what happened, but I try my best to explain it to them. They're strangely understanding, like this isn't a big deal. Chase doesn't seem to care whether or not I'm telling the truth, he's just happy I'm alive, but Kachi is going all conspiracy theorist on me. He's always been the sort to be into this stuff. He doesn't understand it, but he's interested in it. Like it's some fandom he can just get into.

" _Well, I knew that if Callaghan was found alive, then there's gotta be a way you weren't dead either!" He said._

That's my brother.

" _Ok, yeah, you time-traveled. Give me my grief back." Chase said._

That's also my brother.

Honey showers me with hugs and cheek kisses. Then Gogo. Then Fred. Then, feeling left out, Wasabi. They demand to know what happened back at SFIT and I tell them. They don't believe it at first, besides Fred, but there's no other way to explain it. They don't seem to care either, besides Fred, I have to stress, because they're just glad I'm safe. Though they do say they're mad at Tadashi and Hiro for not letting them help. I say nothing to that.

Mama Cass brings me good food, illegally. I love her to death. She hugs and kisses me, calls me her son and that I'm welcome to stay with them whenever I need if it'll help me recover. She doesn't ask about how I lived, and I'm grateful for it. It's bothersome having to explain it so many different times to different people.

And then Tadashi. He fills me in on all the gaps in my knowledge, tells me how he went days without sleep just listening to my music. And he cries, and I hold him, because I can do that again, one more time and many more times after this. My arm may be irrevocably damaged, or else it'll take years to heal properly, and even then I'll probably have scars. They won't know until it happens. I'm an anomaly.

I kiss his forehead and stroke his hair. It's still so soft. It's grown a little longer since the showcase, but it's still short in the back.

"Never do that to me again, bonehead," he says into my neck.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm an asshole." I rub his back. He pulls back but keeps his hands on my shoulders. I wipe the tears off his face and he leans in and kisses me.

"You really are," he says, pulling back.

"What?"

"A asshole."

I gasp dramatically. "You just said a swear word!"

He rolls his eyes. "Shut up.." and he kisses me again.

.

Hiro walks in a few minutes later. He frowns when he sees me. Or maybe it's because Tadashi's sitting in my lap. He quickly moves off.

"Hey," The kid says, waving timidly.

"Hey," I wave back.

He stands still, looking at me with unreadable eyes. For a second I start to think he's just gonna stay at the door the rest of the visit, but then he moves. He runs to me and wraps his arms around me, hugging me. I freeze up, because how was I suppose to expect that? But then I hug him back. His embrace tightens for a quick second before he pulls back, just as quick.

"You ok?" I ask.

He puts on a smug look like he hadn't just completely ruined his bad boy rep. "I'm fine."

"You missed me, didn't you?" I smirk back.

He laughs in my face. "You wish."

"Aww, you don't have to act all shy about it, Blue Jacket."

Hiro's smirk drops. Tadashi bursts out in a laugh.

"Is that your nickname?" He laughs.

"You're so," Hiro puts his hand on his large forehead and says with actual pain in his voice, "bad at naming..!"

Hiro and Tadashi stayed until visiting hours were over. The squad came and went, as well as Mama Cass with muffins she made for me hidden in her purse. Tadashi gave me a kiss on my forehead before he headed out the door with Hiro beside him.

Hiro paused at the door, letting Tadashi out first before turning to me.

"Hey," he called. "Get better soon." And with an added smirk, "I want to go ziplining."


	12. Tadarone Minashi

Bright green eyes blinked curiously up at me, a large, wide grin on her pink-colored lips and her hands together right next to her chin as she asked with an innocent and excited voice, "So, when's the wedding?"

Honey Lemon is so sweet. My arm is in a cast, and after a long time living in the hospital, I'd just been driven to my house for the first time in awhile. Tadashi asked me on the ride if I wanted to stay with him, but I declined. All I felt like doing right now was laying in bed, breathing in the fresh, city air through the window beside my bed, and sleep. I hadn't expected, though I should've, to see Honey and Fred so soon after I returned home. Like, right when I walked in the door and got comfortable. "I just...got out of the hospital.." I practically moan, feeling the sleep slowly drifting from my eyes.

She gasps, suddenly ecstatic. "Can I be your wedding manager?!"

I look at her incredulously. "Are you certified for that? Do you need certification for that? I have no idea how weddings work. I've never even been to a wedding."

"You've never-?!" She's sputtering in disbelief, following me into my living room as I plop down on my couch.

"Me either, honestly." Tadashi says, sitting down beside me.

I continue. "Like do weddings even exist? I've only ever saw them on tv. Are they a myth? Weddings aren't real."

"Says the guy that believes in Bigfoot."

"Why _wouldn't_ you believe in Bigfoot?" I ask, turning my whole body to face Tadashi. "How do you _not_ believe in bigfoot? That's like not believing in Santa Claus!"

"No one. Say. A word." Fred says menacingly, coming in from the kitchen with a juice box I know I don't have a case of in the fridge. He stops behind Honey as she takes in a breath.

Tadashi laughs.

Honey starts jumping up and down in excitement, clapping her hands and grinning. "Ah! I'm so excited!" She squeals. "Ok, first things first- who are you inviting? Do you want it to be a small wedding? Ooh, have you thought of a place yet? A garden? A church? Is it inside or outside-?"

"I was thinking a church." I interrupt her before she pops a blood vessel. I look at Tadashi for confirmation.

He shrugs. "I don't mind."

Honey claps her hands together. "Alright, let's get to work!" She opens up the bag I gave her as a gift. It looks different, though. There's a hole in the side and the periodic table of elements is on the front, each element round like buttons. She pulls out a large binder that looked like it was about to explode. It barely fit in her purse. "Look at these and tell me what you like." She pushes it into Tadashi's arms.

He opens it to reveal pages full of different wedding themes. "You've just been carrying this around?"

.

Honey makes us work on wedding preparations for three hours till I finally get the will to tell her that the wedding isn't for another few years, if we even decide we want one. I've never seen her face drop so quickly before, like she was completely crushed by the prospect of us possibly not having a wedding. In a effort to cheer her up, I told her that if we _were_ to have a wedding, she'd definitely be a bridesmaid(if that's how same sex weddings work).

"At least we don't have to worry about signing invitations when the time comes," Tadashi says after Honey and Fred leave. He's sitting on the ground over the coffee table with a bunch of pink, royal-looking invitations laid out on top of it.

"If we don't lose them by then." I say, sliding down from the couch onto the red-carpeted floor.

"Tyrone," his voice lowers. "I think we should talk." He's looking down at one of the invitations in his hands.

"Go on?"

He's silent for a long moment. I raise an eyebrow.

"What really happened," he pauses, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at me. "that night?"

I blink, mind drawing a blank as my heart begins to pound more pointedly. _He's talking about the...yeah, he is..he is talking about the-_

Getting my mind to work, I willed my chest to stop aching and try to talk. "You mean.."

"Yes, the day of the-" He pauses again, "showcase."

 _Fire_ , is what he was going to say. I ignore the need to tell him that it was fine. He could say it how it was. A _fire_. But maybe some part of him remembered me hating it so much. And maybe he hated it too, the word that caused us so much pain and distraught. But I'm ok. I repeat to myself over and over. _I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay._

I am. I'm okay.

"Nevermind. If you're not ready I won't force you." The regret in his expression was evident as he stared down at his knees with a tense jaw. At this point I've seen the expression so much that I'd gotten used to hating myself. Well, maybe hating was a but too far, but definitely disliking. He used to wear it a lot in the loops(but we're out of that now, right? Right) but I haven't seen it since I was admitted into the hospital(this time around). And it's always my fault that he looks like this. _Always_. I'm always making mistakes that make Tadashi upset, and it's all on me.

I put my hand that's not in a cast over his. "No, it's fine. I'm cool."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "You're _cool_?" His voice is dry.

I give him a smile and a single furrowed eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm cool! It's me. C'mon." I squeeze his hand. I hadn't told him, or the others, the whole truth. And by 'the whole truth', I mean that I didn't tell them that Tadashi died. It seemed like too much to take in at once, considering I'd just practically came back from the dead myself.

Realizing that Tadashi has been staring at me this whole time, I ready my heart for what comes next. "So, before you found me, I was in a time loop."

"Yeah, I know this," he nods.

"And in those time loops, I saved you from the fire." I peer at him, but he stays quiet. "Which means," I continue, slowly, "that there was a time when I.." And here it comes, "didn't."

But Tadashi doesn't seem surprised.

His hand is warm in mine, unshaking and still. His expression is blank for the most part, like he's thinking of what to say.

"Well..?" I furrow my eyebrows in concern. Was he ok?

"Oh," he finally says.

That was it. That's all he said.

" _Oh_?" I repeat, incredulous.

"I mean, I feel like," he struggles, taking his hand away and scratching his head. "I already knew that..?"

A wave of silence looms over us as I take in what he said. Neither of us say anything for awhile.

"Huh." I manage. "Ok."

I guess I did sorta tell him once, didn't I?

The moment passes and I take the chance to change the subject. "Anyway, ziplining?"

.

Geez, I can't wait for this all to blow over.

My church is a small one in the suburbs filled with black women getting on in their years and their tall, lanky husbands that went on and on about their grandsons and daughters in college(or those who weren't) and that also knew how to play _Our God Is An Awesome God_ on the ukulele. The windows were stained and the floor was mahogany carpeted with oakwood pews. Chandeliers hung from the arched ceiling and a large white cross rose above the altar at the far end of the church.

Tadashi came with me that Sunday to the first service I've been to since I was hospitalized for the first time. People I hadn't seen in almost a year, but to them has only been a few months, rushed to greet and embrace me. I introduced them to Tadashi and as social as he is, he got along with them immediately. Later, after we were all sat down ready for service, he told me how he hadn't expected them to accept him so fast.

 _"You didn't see the pride flag in the yard?"_

 _"The_ what? _"_

After the service, we talked to my pastor about marrying us off to each other, to which he heartily accepted. He was disappointed to hear that the wedding would be so far from now, but didn't pressure us to make the date closer.

"Well by the time it gets here, I'll already be with the Lord!" He laughed.

Tadashi chuckled nervously.

"Don't say that! You can't go until I do." I gave him a wholehearted smile and put my able hand in my pocket.

He burst out into laughter again, head back and everything. It was one of the nicest things about my pastor; he laughed hard for anything, even when it's not that funny. "Well, you better take care of yourself from now on, then!" He patted my good shoulder.

"I will," I said. "Well, we should head out."

"Where are you off to now?"

I glanced at Tadashi. "Oh, I gotta go to a check up for my arm. I'm gonna need it to be healed for the zip lining trip my friends and I are going on in a few weeks."

I wouldn't tell him, but Hiro's request really stuck with me. We haven't talked in awhile, but it seems like he's finally come around. I mean, why would he help save my life if he hadn't felt _some_ kind of warmth for me? And bringing it back to the ziplining trip we never got to go on? Peak character development. Geez, I remember him glaring at me like it was just yesterday.

"Already?" He raised his bushy eyebrows. "Take your time healing, son!"

I shrugged. "Worst case scenario, we go and I'll just watch from the sidelines."

He nodded with something shiny in his eyes and a soft smile on his face. "You're doing the Lord's will, son."

I grinned and leaned my head on Tadashi's. "I sure pray so."

.

Fred hoots at the top of his lungs as we enter the somewhat busy ziplining park. It takes us a while but finally we make it to the start of the line and sign up at the registration center. I pay for the group as they sign a waiver(and coax a nervous Wasabi into signing the waiver) so that we can't sue the place if something were to happen. Sky-Lines was pretty good at not getting anyone killed. I'd know; I've been coming here for years.

Some of the workers here even know me by name, one of them(with the most generic name I can't even remember the name of; Adam? Bryan? John?) coming up to me with worry, saying he heard about what happened in the news and couldn't believe it was the same person as me.

The tour group takes us hiking up a mountain where we are surrounded by a forest with exotic birds we can hear but can't quite get a glimpse of. Wasabi seems to get more and more nervous as we walk up the stairs, and me more tired. It's not like I had a lot of exercising options while in the hospital and while waiting for my arm to heal, which it still isn't. The cast is gone but my arm is still stiff and I don't wanna test it just for a temporary bliss.

"Hey, big guy! It's gonna be alright. You can always back out if you want to." I console Wasabi as he trembled harder the further up the makeshift stairs we get.

"You can hang out with Mn, while everyone else has fun on this _paid vacation_." Gogo smiles condescendingly, looking at Wasabi with raised eyebrows. He had said he wouldn't be bothered by it before we got here, and while I didn't blame him(I pretty much expected it), Gogo was the one to voice her discontent.

I'm panting now, struggling up the stairs and holding on to the wooden rail. I stop and gasp out, "You might have to stay down here with me if that's the case, cause I'm not getting up all these stairs."

"Come on, we're almost to the top," Tadashi says from the front of the group.

And so we(struggle) walk the rest of the way up to the platform. A long wire started from the middle of the platform all the way down to another a good few yards down, and then another farther from that, and so on. I spotted one of the birds in the trees above me before it flew away, chirping.

"I'm surprised your brother didn't come with us," Wasabi notes, looking anywhere but the ledge.

"Oh, Kachi? Uh, yeah," I say, focusing back on them. It's been awhile since I've been here, but it's always nice to look around. It smells like nature, and this place always feels like another home. It's nostalgic, in a way. "He isn't particularly fond of forests at the moment."

"Him and me too, man." A single sweatdrop drips down Wasabi's face, but not for the humidity or the exercise, unlike me, but for nervousness.

"It's alright, buddy. We'll take good care o'ya." Says our guide, patting the much taller Wasabi on the shoulder before going on about safety tips and different techniques.

I take the time to zone out. My brother's still live with me. I don't think they're planning to go anywhere for awhile, though. Canba and Kachi hang out somewhere during the day, and Chase and his husband are either working or flying across the universe, probably. Chase will probably go back to his old home in a few months, though, if he thinks everything's ok with me. When Kachi gets bored, which he will, he'll go to Africa or somewhere and live his own life as a nomad again.

The crowd, with their gear, follow the instructions for checking their harnesses. I watch, since I have nothing else to do. Wasabi checks, double checks, and triple checks.

Dude, didn't he, like, save the city? What is he so scared about? He's a superhero. I look the gang over. All of them are superheroes. Even Hiro. Though, he didn't get on the news, did he? Not this time. He was the first time, when this all started. When I finally was on my last leg building Fredrick to go back in time for the first time, the band of superheroes called _Big Hero Six_ was all over the news. People couldn't stop talking about Callaghan and his daughter the entire day. I was a shut in and could hear it through the walls, all the _gossip_.

 _Callaghan's daughter_.

Fuck, they didn't save her this time, did they?

I look around, as if to see her standing here, on this platform. One by one, each person in our tour group begins their descent to the next platform.

Where even was she? It was somewhere crazy, wasn't it? I can't remember. I didn't get _any_ details. I hadn't even tried to pay it any attention; I was so caught up in my grief for Tadashi.

I mean, at least Callaghan's in jail now, and I got my Tadashi back, but what about Abigail? That was her name, right? I rub the sweat from my face. Shiiiit, why did I have to remember her name!

We seriously didn't save her.. She's still out there somewhere, alone. Holy fuck, I'm a fuckup…!

Person after person slid from one platform to the other, until it was just my group left.

"Alright, who's next?" Asks our guide.

Wasabi audibly gulps and steps forward. He stares, transfixed, at the end goal, eyebrows furrowed and face flushed. "I'll do it."

"Alright!" Fred says as Gogo claps.

"You're gonna do great!" Honey grins and pats his back cheerfully.

He steps closer to the edge and the guide hooked him to the zipline. "Just stay calm." The man says. "Jump when you're ready."

Wasabi squeezes his eyes shut, blowing out his cheeks, and mouthing the words to himself. After a few more seconds of self comfort, he leapt off.

All my thoughts seem to leap off with him. I'm dragged back to reality instantly as his screams fill the air.

He hoots and hollers all the way down with terror that gradually turns into excitement.

"Wasabi! Wasabi! Wasabi!" Fred starts chanting. Gogo joins him, then Hiro. Soon all of us are chanting his name as he slides down, pumping our fists in the air as he keeps going...and keeps going..and-

"Put on the brake! Press the brake!" The guide was trying to scream over us, but we heard it too late, our yelling slowing to a stop as he slides passed the rest of the tour group and the next platform, still hollering in delight with no idea of what he was doing.

"Err," Fred cringes as Gogo bares her teeth in a frown. "I'm next!" His mood completely changed in a fraction of a second. The guide helps him connect his harness to the line and he's jumping in his slacks, eyes as wide as his grin, when the guide finishes. He leaps instantly out of the guides grasp and into the air, barely letting the poor man let go and thus surprising him.

Fred's legs swing forward and he slides down, yelling, " _Whoohooo_ \- aw-! _Aww man! My beanie!"_

Tadashi laughs and the guide sighs in exhaustion as the hat floats down into the forest somewhere a little off from the stairs.

Honey moves forward. "My turn!" She takes less help connecting to the line than Fred and Wasabi, and she slides down relatively elegantly. She pointed the tip of her shoe to the landing spot and zipped down as if she were on swings, screaming her own little _whoohoo!_

Gogo steps up. "Me next." She pops her gum one last time before spitting it out into a wrapper and putting it in her pocket. She quietly gets hooked up and slides down, too cool to scream or do a cool pose-

Oh, no, nevermind. She flashed the middle finger at the last second.

The only ones left are Tadashi, Hiro, and me.

"Who's next?" The guide asks.

Tadashi looks at me, and I look at him, before looking at Hiro, who looks at me, then at Tadashi.

"I'll go," Tadashi volunteers. He smiles at me in a weird mischievous way, getting hooked to the line and sticking his tongue out at me as he walks off the ledge. I watch him twist around in circles as he slides down, laughing in delight with his eyes squeezed shut.

Holy fuck, I'm in love. I'm seriously in love, hopelessly, with this guy. Geez...

"Hey, um," Hiro starts, getting my attention. His eyes were on his gear, then on the platform below. "Take care of my brother, alright?" He met my eyes with a strange look in his own. Worry, maybe. Or..hm, vulnerability? Either way, I nod and put out my fist.

He looks at it for a long moment. I smile in what I hope is an encouraging way, and a second later, he smiles back and bumps it.

He pulls his hand away, letting it flow through the air, wiggling his fingers as I pull my own arm back as well, straight as an arrow, faking the sound of an explosion at the same time that he says, "Falalalala."

I watch as he is lifted up and hooked to the line, and send him one more smile as he zips down. "You still suck, though!" He exclaims before cheering in delight.

I smile and get ready to go down the stairs.

"You sure you don't wanna go?" The guide asks. He's holding up an extra harness.

"Oh, I, uh, I can't." I hold up my arm. "Wouldn't want to risk messing up the healing process."

"You can always just do the Superman." He suggests, raising an eyebrow and the harness closer to me.

I can't help staring at it. It's a tempting offer, but I already resigned myself to not doing it, and at this point it would seem kinda stupid to change my mind.

But also… I love ziplining.

A harmonious sound catches my attention and I look down at the platform to see the guys cheering me on:

"Mn! Mn! Mn!" Fred's grinning. Tadashi's pumping his fist, and beside him Hiro is following his lead.

They're all rooting for me.

"Alright, ok, sure," I say and let him help put the harness on me and hook it up to the line. The Big Hero Six crew cheers some more.

A bird chirps from close by as I breathe out a slow breath...and then take a leap.

* * *

Yeah I know I'm sorry, I took my time XD but this is it! Thanks for reading, my dudes! I appreciate ya. I have art stuff in the Tadashi Hamada Is Mine Tag on my Tumblr so just type that out on the search and it'll prob come up, if you're interested? I dunno. Also ive never been zipling, can you tell? If i did something wrong pls help me out and i can fix it

Bye guys


End file.
